Friday, October 31, 2003
talking to darkness thru msn and blogging rite now and darkness is typing and talking to someone on the hp at the same time...hahaha..multi-tasking. darkness got himself a disposable camera and i'm sure he will be clicking away before you know it. told him to save some so that we could get some pixs of ourselves and friends. needs to fill up my new photo album too..
oh and now, darkness just smsed me saying that his pc hanged. haha..poor thing. his pc always does that..going kaput soon i guess.
3mins had passed...
aahh..there he is..darkness is back online..
anyway, lemme tell you what happened earlier in the afternoon. erna called and said there isn't any food for her to break fast in the evening later. mum was sick and she left for work without cooking anything. told erna that i couldn't be home in time to cook so she will just have to break fast with whatever snacks that she could find in the fridge. after the phone conversation, i felt really bad. i know how it feels to break fast without a proper meal..it's darn sad..really lor.
oh wait..darkness just msn me again...
oh he's asking what i'm doing as he is updating our booklist...hmmm..lemme msn him back first..................................................................................................
okay anyways, where was i??! oh! so i felt sooo bad cuz as a sister, i felt that i should do something. so i called fm up and told him that i need a huge favour from him. i asked him whether he mind coming over to my place and pass some cash to erna for her to buy some food at the mall near our place. haha..told him if he had plans, i could ask darkness (boy, that wld be a long ride for darkness if he does agree to this..from toa payoh to bukit panjang...hehe)..but anyway, fm thought about it for a while and he agreed. there's a straight bus from his hse to my place anyway..
i really owe him one this time.. fm called when he's with erna and he said that he decided to accompany her to buy food from the kfc. i can imagine the silent walk and awkwardness between those two..hahahaha...he told me it's scary cuz he felt like a fatherly figure..hahahaha...
soooo...i felt better after that..knowing that my sis would have a good break fast meal..and i hope i will remember to pay fm back when i see him tomorrow...
nice weather today..cooling...hope it stays this way..
alrite! gotta go..darkness just msn me asking me why i took so long to blog..
this is what he said..."writing blog composition is it?" i answered.."wait. finishing sn.." then he said this,"wait then my computer hang again..." hahahahahaaa......
marlena
oh and now, darkness just smsed me saying that his pc hanged. haha..poor thing. his pc always does that..going kaput soon i guess.
3mins had passed...
aahh..there he is..darkness is back online..
anyway, lemme tell you what happened earlier in the afternoon. erna called and said there isn't any food for her to break fast in the evening later. mum was sick and she left for work without cooking anything. told erna that i couldn't be home in time to cook so she will just have to break fast with whatever snacks that she could find in the fridge. after the phone conversation, i felt really bad. i know how it feels to break fast without a proper meal..it's darn sad..really lor.
oh wait..darkness just msn me again...
oh he's asking what i'm doing as he is updating our booklist...hmmm..lemme msn him back first..................................................................................................
okay anyways, where was i??! oh! so i felt sooo bad cuz as a sister, i felt that i should do something. so i called fm up and told him that i need a huge favour from him. i asked him whether he mind coming over to my place and pass some cash to erna for her to buy some food at the mall near our place. haha..told him if he had plans, i could ask darkness (boy, that wld be a long ride for darkness if he does agree to this..from toa payoh to bukit panjang...hehe)..but anyway, fm thought about it for a while and he agreed. there's a straight bus from his hse to my place anyway..
i really owe him one this time.. fm called when he's with erna and he said that he decided to accompany her to buy food from the kfc. i can imagine the silent walk and awkwardness between those two..hahahaha...he told me it's scary cuz he felt like a fatherly figure..hahahaha...
soooo...i felt better after that..knowing that my sis would have a good break fast meal..and i hope i will remember to pay fm back when i see him tomorrow...
nice weather today..cooling...hope it stays this way..
alrite! gotta go..darkness just msn me asking me why i took so long to blog..
this is what he said..."writing blog composition is it?" i answered.."wait. finishing sn.." then he said this,"wait then my computer hang again..." hahahahahaaa......
marlena
darKness:and as for greek god, i got the same one as deaf's, will not post it here as it eats up blog space, just check it out over at her blog, she & i are morpheus....
this is darKness speaking, i just tried the greek mythology thingy from deaf's blog and im:
You are Form 1, Goddess: The Creator.
"And The Goddess planted the acorn of life.
She cried a single tear and shed a single drop
of blood upon the earth where she buried it.
From her blood and tear, the acorn grew into
the world."
Some examples of the Goddess Form are Gaia (Greek),
Jehova (Christian), and Brahma (Indian).
The Goddess is associated with the concept of
creation, the number 1, and the element of
earth.
Her sign is the dawn sun.
As a member of Form 1, you are a charismatic
individual and people are drawn to you.
Although sometimes you may seem emotionally
distant, you are deeply in tune with other
people's feelings and have tremendous empathy.
Sometimes you have a tendency to neglect your
own self. Goddesses are the best friends to
have because they're always willing to help.
Which Mythological Form Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
You are Form 1, Goddess: The Creator.
"And The Goddess planted the acorn of life.
She cried a single tear and shed a single drop
of blood upon the earth where she buried it.
From her blood and tear, the acorn grew into
the world."
Some examples of the Goddess Form are Gaia (Greek),
Jehova (Christian), and Brahma (Indian).
The Goddess is associated with the concept of
creation, the number 1, and the element of
earth.
Her sign is the dawn sun.
As a member of Form 1, you are a charismatic
individual and people are drawn to you.
Although sometimes you may seem emotionally
distant, you are deeply in tune with other
people's feelings and have tremendous empathy.
Sometimes you have a tendency to neglect your
own self. Goddesses are the best friends to
have because they're always willing to help.
Which Mythological Form Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
oh daph! i took the quiz on your blog...funny.
marlena
Your Heart is Red
What Color is Your Heart?
brought to you by Quizilla
marlena
Your Heart is Red
What Color is Your Heart?
brought to you by Quizilla
Thursday, October 30, 2003
cheeky monkeys is actually so so but with company of borders staff..everything seemed to be better than expected.
well...i dun know lah but i just felt that things are getting more and more complicated in the store than ever before..messy and more and more hot babes...just look at that lindsay gal...why oh why i left so early.... for the first time i saw the gals all dressed up man... i meant when was the last time u saw leticia let her hair down and those dance steps... wah lau....
leo got too much of a drink and was pouring his frustrations bout the haider and how pek and him are suffering in the department.....for a moment i felt guilty,,,i mean i knew i am the best and i caused those despairs...hehe
but seriously...i did felt that i am partly responsible for it....well afterall i had a great time working with them...
i really hope that we wld have more of such gatherings next time and it better be in mambo nites or some top 40 place ah..
jen is still so cute
neo
well...i dun know lah but i just felt that things are getting more and more complicated in the store than ever before..messy and more and more hot babes...just look at that lindsay gal...why oh why i left so early.... for the first time i saw the gals all dressed up man... i meant when was the last time u saw leticia let her hair down and those dance steps... wah lau....
leo got too much of a drink and was pouring his frustrations bout the haider and how pek and him are suffering in the department.....for a moment i felt guilty,,,i mean i knew i am the best and i caused those despairs...hehe
but seriously...i did felt that i am partly responsible for it....well afterall i had a great time working with them...
i really hope that we wld have more of such gatherings next time and it better be in mambo nites or some top 40 place ah..
jen is still so cute
neo
If it's wrong to tell the truth
Then what am I supposed to do
When all I want to do is speak my mind
If it's wrong to do what's right
I'm prepared to testify
If loving you with all my heart's a crime
Then I'm guilty...
**well, well, what do you know.. erna managed to influence me into liking blue's songs...that's the chorus of one of their new single called "guilty" by the way.**
marlena
Then what am I supposed to do
When all I want to do is speak my mind
If it's wrong to do what's right
I'm prepared to testify
If loving you with all my heart's a crime
Then I'm guilty...
**well, well, what do you know.. erna managed to influence me into liking blue's songs...that's the chorus of one of their new single called "guilty" by the way.**
marlena
girls, take this quiz...
marlena
-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which
means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're
the kind of chick that can hang out with your
boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't
care about presents or about going to fancy
placed. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy
being around your boyfriend.
What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
marlena
-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which
means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're
the kind of chick that can hang out with your
boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't
care about presents or about going to fancy
placed. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy
being around your boyfriend.
What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
throat was terribly painful today....went to doc and i got a whole new set of medication plus a whole box of antibiotics! it's kinda funny when you thought of all the things that happened last night at the club...kenny kena whacked by leticia again, some of us kena insulted by her again, me getting high again, me puking again and again...and for the first time, the music gets to me big time. and all those people shouting to talk to one another...i just couldn't take it. it's damn noisy and make me want to puke even more. couldn't even get myself to stand on my two feet properly that peizhen and farokh have to take me outside to sort me out. then i remember leticia and farokh taking me out again...hahahaha...
i apologise if i was too much of a trouble last night. i wasn't drunk...i know wat's happening around me...i know who took care of me and i appreciate it. the only thing that i couldn't control was standing and focused straight...yeah, that's hard...hahahaha. farokh kept asking me to stand and focused on him but i just could not. leonard even tried to test my level of drunkness by asking me to say who he is and his birthday. should look at his face when i managed to say his full name along with his hanyu pinyin name coolly...hahaha..then, he dragged me to get a drink for him cuz only ladies got free flow..that guy..
jobina, i'm sorry that your hp got stolen..i should be more alert cuz when it happened, there were only me and farokh at the table and we didn't know your hp was there...sorry. very sorry.
on a parting note, thanks to fahmy, kevin, leonard and fernando for lending their shoulders for me to rest my dizzy head. and to peizhen, farokh, leticia, zakk, joanne, kenny and the rest for accompanying me to the loo and leading me here and there to clear my head...hahahaa...
let's do it again! ahahahahahahahaha.....
marlena
i apologise if i was too much of a trouble last night. i wasn't drunk...i know wat's happening around me...i know who took care of me and i appreciate it. the only thing that i couldn't control was standing and focused straight...yeah, that's hard...hahahaha. farokh kept asking me to stand and focused on him but i just could not. leonard even tried to test my level of drunkness by asking me to say who he is and his birthday. should look at his face when i managed to say his full name along with his hanyu pinyin name coolly...hahaha..then, he dragged me to get a drink for him cuz only ladies got free flow..that guy..
jobina, i'm sorry that your hp got stolen..i should be more alert cuz when it happened, there were only me and farokh at the table and we didn't know your hp was there...sorry. very sorry.
on a parting note, thanks to fahmy, kevin, leonard and fernando for lending their shoulders for me to rest my dizzy head. and to peizhen, farokh, leticia, zakk, joanne, kenny and the rest for accompanying me to the loo and leading me here and there to clear my head...hahahaa...
let's do it again! ahahahahahahahaha.....
marlena
Wednesday, October 29, 2003
i want to post something but i'm not sure what to write on. while thinking of the topic that i should write on, i glances over to my little sis, erna, who is sleeping soundly tonight. so i guess you guys know what i'm going to write now...hehehe...
first and foremost, i really love my sister....to bits! she can be as irritating as any other 12-year- old kid but she's one person that i couldn't live without. i'm glad i have her. i could still remember the day i held her in my arms. she is so small and i was so scared that i would break her neck....she was so fragile....her small and wrinkled fingers..awww...they were so cute! we went through alot together..through our parents' divorce, seeing our parents fight back then (i always asked her to stay in the room and not come out while i'll try to pacify things between my parents), seeing our two older brothers moving out due to some disagreements. i always protect her in every way i can...she's my precious little jewel. sometimes, when things get too rough for me, i tried not to break down in front of her but she always know when things are not right for me. she can sense it. i don't know how she does it but she could just sense it. we always have our long talks at least once a month before we go to bed. it's like some form of tradition. we will talk about anything...it's a great feeling. i could just feel the closeness.
i just want to say that i really love her..so much. erna, if you happen to read this, i just want to say that i'm really proud to have you here by my side. i really am. it doesn't matter if you can't get to the secondary schools that i've shortlisted for you. just give your best shot and that is all that matters to me. please don't do things just to please me (yesh, you do that sometimes). do it if it really interest you...you have your own life and dreams too...
like any parents would say, always think of the consequences of your actions first. mix with the right company and please don't break my heart.... i don't think i can take it...
love you sis.
marlena
first and foremost, i really love my sister....to bits! she can be as irritating as any other 12-year- old kid but she's one person that i couldn't live without. i'm glad i have her. i could still remember the day i held her in my arms. she is so small and i was so scared that i would break her neck....she was so fragile....her small and wrinkled fingers..awww...they were so cute! we went through alot together..through our parents' divorce, seeing our parents fight back then (i always asked her to stay in the room and not come out while i'll try to pacify things between my parents), seeing our two older brothers moving out due to some disagreements. i always protect her in every way i can...she's my precious little jewel. sometimes, when things get too rough for me, i tried not to break down in front of her but she always know when things are not right for me. she can sense it. i don't know how she does it but she could just sense it. we always have our long talks at least once a month before we go to bed. it's like some form of tradition. we will talk about anything...it's a great feeling. i could just feel the closeness.
i just want to say that i really love her..so much. erna, if you happen to read this, i just want to say that i'm really proud to have you here by my side. i really am. it doesn't matter if you can't get to the secondary schools that i've shortlisted for you. just give your best shot and that is all that matters to me. please don't do things just to please me (yesh, you do that sometimes). do it if it really interest you...you have your own life and dreams too...
like any parents would say, always think of the consequences of your actions first. mix with the right company and please don't break my heart.... i don't think i can take it...
love you sis.
marlena
texas "saint"
im taking my time i'll fix it dont worry now im needing you there make sure that you're coming too. all of my life is all i'll give you here the meaning of me is something to pursue. you think im a saint its in your pretty head stretched out like a saint now i love you to death. catch another dream now we can find them somehow i know that there's a boy inside the man. catch another dream now take all we are allowed for i know that there's a man inside the boy. grown ups dont know how to dream anymore their heads in the sand and they choose to ignore it all. all of my life is all i'll give you here the meaning of me is something to pursue. you think im a saint its in your pretty head stretched out like a saint now i love you to death catch another dream now we can find them somehow i know that there's a boy inside the man catch another dream now take all we are all allowed for i know there's a man inside the boy....
i think this song is damn smooth, and i love it to death since 3years back....darKness
im taking my time i'll fix it dont worry now im needing you there make sure that you're coming too. all of my life is all i'll give you here the meaning of me is something to pursue. you think im a saint its in your pretty head stretched out like a saint now i love you to death. catch another dream now we can find them somehow i know that there's a boy inside the man. catch another dream now take all we are allowed for i know that there's a man inside the boy. grown ups dont know how to dream anymore their heads in the sand and they choose to ignore it all. all of my life is all i'll give you here the meaning of me is something to pursue. you think im a saint its in your pretty head stretched out like a saint now i love you to death catch another dream now we can find them somehow i know that there's a boy inside the man catch another dream now take all we are all allowed for i know there's a man inside the boy....
i think this song is damn smooth, and i love it to death since 3years back....darKness
Tuesday, October 28, 2003
woke up feeling sick. went out to meet faizal last nite. . it was a spontaneous thingy. he smsed me last nite at around ten plus asking me whether i want to come by his place. since it is just a couple of minutes away from my place, i agreed immediately. anyway, we havent seen or talk much nowadays so it's good to catch up with each other. i have known him for a little over 10 years now and been through quite a fair bit with him. our families know each other and mum even asked about him now and then. i guess she missed him. we even liked each other during secondary school but i guess we didn't pursued further. our friendship is more valuable. hahahaha. . .great guy. lost contact with him for a year but immensely glad when i saw him at borders! all those good memories come flooding in! talked and laughed about all those silly things that we did and happened back during our school days...
might organised a mini gathering with the rest of our old friends and bandmates whom we are still in contact with...probably throw a party at his place or something.
great night spent but woke up feeling sick at his place this morning....i guess i haven't fully recovered from my bad cough and flu. might pay a visit to the doc again as my medicine had ran out.....
song: play that funky music white boy (kc & the sunshine band)
marlena
might organised a mini gathering with the rest of our old friends and bandmates whom we are still in contact with...probably throw a party at his place or something.
great night spent but woke up feeling sick at his place this morning....i guess i haven't fully recovered from my bad cough and flu. might pay a visit to the doc again as my medicine had ran out.....
song: play that funky music white boy (kc & the sunshine band)
marlena
i woke up and the morning smells wonderful. the sky is overcast but none of that gloomy depressing sort, and the breezes were just invigorating. it smells like christmas, like an ushering for it of some sorts. and the 17th floor view is literally wonderful too. i'd gladly lose myself in such days....thankyou God
the damning well sings "awakening"
washed in blood, made crimson, and then white, and then some....darKness
the damning well sings "awakening"
washed in blood, made crimson, and then white, and then some....darKness
Monday, October 27, 2003
When you're close to tears remember, someday it'll all be over. One day we're gonna get so high. Though it's darker than December...What's ahead is a different colour. One day we're gonna get so high.....
It's so intense. If it's right.. why does it have to be so hard? Strange relationship. Really strange one. Maybe 'cause it wasn't meant to be. Something's so right but it feels so wrong. I can't explain it at all.
Well I'd hope that since we're here anyway. That we could end up saying things we've always needed to say. So we could end up staying. Now the story's played out like this. Just like a paperback novel. Let's rewrite an ending that fits.
Instead of a Hollywood horror...
Spend all your time waiting for that second chance, for a break that would make it okay. There's always one reason to feel not good enough. And it's hard at the end of the day.
I need some distraction...
Beautiful release
memory seeps from my veins
Let me be empty
And weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight...
marlena
It's so intense. If it's right.. why does it have to be so hard? Strange relationship. Really strange one. Maybe 'cause it wasn't meant to be. Something's so right but it feels so wrong. I can't explain it at all.
Well I'd hope that since we're here anyway. That we could end up saying things we've always needed to say. So we could end up staying. Now the story's played out like this. Just like a paperback novel. Let's rewrite an ending that fits.
Instead of a Hollywood horror...
Spend all your time waiting for that second chance, for a break that would make it okay. There's always one reason to feel not good enough. And it's hard at the end of the day.
I need some distraction...
Beautiful release
memory seeps from my veins
Let me be empty
And weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight...
marlena
Sunday, October 26, 2003
*overtime * *i believe*
when im feeling small when its cold outside i dont know who i should believe and when i needed someone special just by my side who was there when im feeling old when its rain outside i dont know who is holding me and when i need a little kind and tender moment whos with me i believe someday i will love someone whos by my side oh someday my special one will come along i'll keep on praying when im lost inside when i dont know who i should recall and when i needed someone precious just by my side no one there no one was there i believe someday i will love someone whos by my side someday my special one will come along i pray everyday someday i'll love someone whos by my side someday someday i keep on praying everyday....
this song came from the "overtime" soundtrack, and i'd listen to it when i needed help to dig myself out of any relationship pits that i had fell into. its called "i believe"
darKness
when im feeling small when its cold outside i dont know who i should believe and when i needed someone special just by my side who was there when im feeling old when its rain outside i dont know who is holding me and when i need a little kind and tender moment whos with me i believe someday i will love someone whos by my side oh someday my special one will come along i'll keep on praying when im lost inside when i dont know who i should recall and when i needed someone precious just by my side no one there no one was there i believe someday i will love someone whos by my side someday my special one will come along i pray everyday someday i'll love someone whos by my side someday someday i keep on praying everyday....
this song came from the "overtime" soundtrack, and i'd listen to it when i needed help to dig myself out of any relationship pits that i had fell into. its called "i believe"
darKness
Tell me, are we heading into trouble
Is it my imagination taking whole
Do I read to much into the way we slay
The way you move away from me
I may feel that you're the one
But when all is said and done
Love takes two
Time after time we've talked it through
Cos baby, I need you
What am I supposed to do
Love takes two
There's a whole lot of things you can do and do without me
There's a million things I can do and do alone
But the best you can do for yourself
Is sharing with that someone else
No one wants to be alone
It's the one thing that I know
Love takes two
Time after time we've talked it through
Cos baby, I need you
What am I supposed to do
When your words could disguise what you're going through
But they can't fool your heart
Now it's time to decide what you wanna do
I'm telling you......
marlena
Is it my imagination taking whole
Do I read to much into the way we slay
The way you move away from me
I may feel that you're the one
But when all is said and done
Love takes two
Time after time we've talked it through
Cos baby, I need you
What am I supposed to do
Love takes two
There's a whole lot of things you can do and do without me
There's a million things I can do and do alone
But the best you can do for yourself
Is sharing with that someone else
No one wants to be alone
It's the one thing that I know
Love takes two
Time after time we've talked it through
Cos baby, I need you
What am I supposed to do
When your words could disguise what you're going through
But they can't fool your heart
Now it's time to decide what you wanna do
I'm telling you......
marlena
Goodbye, dear Paul Smith aka Elliot Smith, we will miss you, and if you were ever in doubt, we loved you even when you hated it. yesh, "success can only fail me now", i guess....
kenny
kenny
I'm stuck on the same essay over and over again..so, decided to post this to get my mind off the essays for a while....sweet dreams to you. will see you guys in dreamland later.
Maybe it's intuition
But some things you just don't question
Like in your eyes
I see my future in an instant
And there it goes
I think I've found my best friend
I know that it might sound more than a little crazy
But I believe
I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life
There's just no rhyme or reason
Only this sense of completion
And in your eyes
I see the missing pieces
I'm searching for
I think I've found my way home
la la la la la la la la la la la la la
lal lal la lal blah blah blah blah...........................................................
savage garden singing i knew i loved you
marlena
Maybe it's intuition
But some things you just don't question
Like in your eyes
I see my future in an instant
And there it goes
I think I've found my best friend
I know that it might sound more than a little crazy
But I believe
I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life
There's just no rhyme or reason
Only this sense of completion
And in your eyes
I see the missing pieces
I'm searching for
I think I've found my way home
la la la la la la la la la la la la la
lal lal la lal blah blah blah blah...........................................................
savage garden singing i knew i loved you
marlena
Saturday, October 25, 2003
AARRGGHH! GREAT! just great! went back to work to get the new schedule and it seems that i have to work on days that i have my classes! all this because of one stupid store anniversary! AAARRRGGGGHHHHHH! i know that the changes only applies for a week but still! have to work on weekends some more! i have made plans...dammit!! then, have to work one more long week before i can get my next off days...
travis singing..why does it always rain on me? so ironic.....
marlena
travis singing..why does it always rain on me? so ironic.....
marlena
woke up today with a sorethroat and cough....AGAIN! i thought i've recovered...sigh...guess not! i don't mind having headache or something but not sorethroat and cough! these two just irritates me to the max! you can't stop coughing and you feel like taking out your throat and leave it on the table for a while.
fasting month is just around the corner. just two days away, in fact. and guess what??! i have my pms today! aarrgghhh! now i can't fast! i want to fast on the first day!! darn! and on monday, we will have our annual staff meeting and i'm not sure whether i should eat the breakfast. it feels weird cuz the rest of the muslims will be fasting....but then again, i usually don't take breakfast so i guess that solves the problem.
gonna go out with fm and get a disposable camera for erna. she's leaving her primary school soon and she wants to take photographs with her beloved friends and teachers. she sure do know the right time to ask...today is the 25th...my payday. hahahaha...
well, catch up with you people later...take care and be good!
song: drops of jupiter (train)
marlena
fasting month is just around the corner. just two days away, in fact. and guess what??! i have my pms today! aarrgghhh! now i can't fast! i want to fast on the first day!! darn! and on monday, we will have our annual staff meeting and i'm not sure whether i should eat the breakfast. it feels weird cuz the rest of the muslims will be fasting....but then again, i usually don't take breakfast so i guess that solves the problem.
gonna go out with fm and get a disposable camera for erna. she's leaving her primary school soon and she wants to take photographs with her beloved friends and teachers. she sure do know the right time to ask...today is the 25th...my payday. hahahaha...
well, catch up with you people later...take care and be good!
song: drops of jupiter (train)
marlena
Friday, October 24, 2003
wah....been quite sometime since i post something on the blog. it's been one busy, confusing, exciting, tiring week. kept going out and essays are piling up. the thing is my essays are due this coming wednesday and i'm not worried at all! hmmm....something is wrong here and i told myself over and over again that i would get them done but i couldn't! sigh.....
work is pretty bad rite now. the monthly schedule states that there are only 11 full time booksellers rite now! the rest are all part-timers...the store is gonna collapse soon..and they still can afford to fire people...sigh.
as for my personal life, it's pretty weird rite now....can't really say that there's something wrong....and i can't really say that everything is alright either...just can't put my finger on it....another sigh.....
WELL, i hope everything will turn out better soon. can't wait for the clubbing on the 29th...drink awayyyyyyy........
song: that's when i love you (aslyn)
marlena
work is pretty bad rite now. the monthly schedule states that there are only 11 full time booksellers rite now! the rest are all part-timers...the store is gonna collapse soon..and they still can afford to fire people...sigh.
as for my personal life, it's pretty weird rite now....can't really say that there's something wrong....and i can't really say that everything is alright either...just can't put my finger on it....another sigh.....
WELL, i hope everything will turn out better soon. can't wait for the clubbing on the 29th...drink awayyyyyyy........
song: that's when i love you (aslyn)
marlena
Thursday, October 23, 2003
with the tatoo design firmly in me head, with blade-two playing infront of me, on the tube, with smooth hard music playing in me hi-fi, with some pretty nice books awaiting for me to read them, with me kicking high on coffee & diclofenac-sodium50mg no less, and churning through the synopsis, waiting for the soccer match to begin at 2:45, im very sure that life cant get any better than this....thankyou God, amen.
amuro sings "toi et moi"
the sky is burning tonight....darKness
amuro sings "toi et moi"
the sky is burning tonight....darKness
Wednesday, October 22, 2003
i had dinner with ah-pek the evening before, and realise that working at that farking dump can really bring out that evilness & bitterness of oneself towards some the people there & the organisation itself. i still haven't lost any of that bitterness & rage that i feel against some of the people there, and by doing that, im liable to be labeled as "small-air" *translate to chinese*. but heck, if i dont feel what i have right now, then where would the fark "vengence" & "revenge" & surely "anger" come from. i almost always know what im doing and it ain't the appropriate time to stop yet. i still use a particular artifact from that dump, and in some ways, it is to remind me of the blood-boiling incidents that one had to sit through, and not being able to seek vindication. in such cases, one can either sit back, let the anger dissapate, learn to forgive, and accept it as a way of working life. in your head, you'll try to convince yourself that it builds character. and your God says that one should love & forgive. or in another case, one will turn vengeful & small-eyed, in turn resorting to backstabbing & minor malicious acts. and when one goes back home or to the church on Sundays, one will pray fervently for utter forgiveness, and a re-route from the straight road to Hell. in my case, i like to mindfark myself, and tell myself that all of the above doesn't really work. yesh, backstabbing will give you that endorphic kick but it doesn't cure the anger. so i resort to patience. yesh, i have learnt to abide my time. i have learnt to smile. i have learnt to be dis-arming. i have resorted to mindfarking which mother had schooled me very well. when it is time for everything to go down, i wish the people that i dont like *farking-detest* the best of luck. and for the people that i like, life will be swinging and since my God says that i should love everyone *but you dont throw pearls at swines' feet*, i'll love all of you all more. my God is a very kind and loving God but when He needed to kick some ass, He really kicked some ass.
boy sets fire sings "high wire escape artist"
when my God heap burning coals on your head, i'll stone you for good measure....darKness
boy sets fire sings "high wire escape artist"
when my God heap burning coals on your head, i'll stone you for good measure....darKness
Tuesday, October 21, 2003
oooohhhh, my reservist has been CANCELLED surely this makes it a case for celebration and obviously, **thankyou** God, and i cant believe that it got cancelled....im like smiling in blissfulness utterly non-stop. since the reservist thingy has been cancelled, i promise i'll finish up typing the entire synopsis by the end of this Saturday, all 817 titles of it, without slacking off any bit at all. though it had been cancelled, there were instructions given that it'll be re-organised again soon enough. but hopefully by then, we'd have gotten the company license, and i guess i could safely say that im freed from it for quite a while. so will nEo i guess. in the meantime, i shall leave it to God's hands.
new order rants "regret"
will fuck for food and sweets....darKness
new order rants "regret"
will fuck for food and sweets....darKness
Sunday, October 19, 2003
was thinking about books again when i realise that there are some people out there, like me, who actually like to smell books, or should i say we like the musty bookish smell of old books or the fresh crisp smell of new ones. i know all these sounds kinda weird with the whole business of smelling books, but surely any avid reader would have done that once in their lifetime. my earliest memory of smelling books were the Enid Blytons ones that i had "inherited" from my cousins. theirs was like pretty worn-out already, and when it reached my hands, you can be sure that the book itself had already "absorbed" alot of different "smells" in its bookish lifespan. up till now, i still cant get that musty old dusty book smell out from my senses. its like when you smell it, for that while-moment, everything is as it was when you were ten-years-old. i still have the Enid Blytons and glad that i still have them. so next time when you see me smelling a book by flipping the pages fastly across my nose, dont small-eye me. just take it that im any regular wine connoisseur who takes a whiff of the wine's bouquet before putting it onto the palate. in my case, it'd be smelling it before reading the synopsis. and yesh, thanks marlena. so nEo when is your next reservist huh....it had better be a 3week in-camp-training like mine.
HIM sings "funeral of hearts"
everything will gently fall if you let it....darKness
HIM sings "funeral of hearts"
everything will gently fall if you let it....darKness
darkness is going for his reservist tomorrow and i just want to say this before i forget. I'll miss you for the next three weeks!! hahaha...must take good care of yourself and that slipdisc of yours. i'm just a phone call away if you need anything...
surprisingly, i woke up pretty early today..considering that it is a sunday. maybe i had a satisfying 11 hours of sleep! hahaha...the whole household is still asleep and i don't know what to do so here i am blogging away.
work has turned pretty weird lately but i hope it will go back to normal and everyone will get back to their normal self....sigh.
anyway, have a great sunday ahead to all of you and i'll c some of you around...somewhere. singapore ain't too big, right??! take good care and enjoy the pretty things in life!
song: time stands still (all american rejects)
marlena
surprisingly, i woke up pretty early today..considering that it is a sunday. maybe i had a satisfying 11 hours of sleep! hahaha...the whole household is still asleep and i don't know what to do so here i am blogging away.
work has turned pretty weird lately but i hope it will go back to normal and everyone will get back to their normal self....sigh.
anyway, have a great sunday ahead to all of you and i'll c some of you around...somewhere. singapore ain't too big, right??! take good care and enjoy the pretty things in life!
song: time stands still (all american rejects)
marlena
Saturday, October 18, 2003
someone just called me and wish me goodnight and etc and etc....sooo sweet.
mmmmm...........
p.s i can't think straight right now but i'm very, very tired and turning in early tonight. and neo, u r hopeless!!
song: sorta fairytale (tori amos)
marlena
mmmmm...........
p.s i can't think straight right now but i'm very, very tired and turning in early tonight. and neo, u r hopeless!!
song: sorta fairytale (tori amos)
marlena
had just unpacked my ali-baba bag in order to prepare the necessary stuff for reservist on mondae. and it wasn't as bad as i had imagined it to be. after all, it is with the understanding that when i ORDed on 19th october 2001, i had simply chucked every single equipment & clothing into the bag, in a vain attempt to blot it out from memory. and now almost exactly two years later *my reservist is on the 20th october2003* i have to endure that same endless grind for 3weeks. although i had been whining about it, i realise that to a certain extent i actually relish donning my uniform again, getting all muddy, sweaty, senseless, and trying to act like a soldier. well, maybe the field camp thingy might not be that much of a lousy idea *i know im going to regret saying this* and surely 3weeks are equally transitory. lets just hope that we get to chow down fresh rations rather than combat rations. after all its seems like im quite a patriotic kid too.
third eye blind sings "deep inside of you"
not cute, is quaint, not romantic, is hungry, not sauve, is savvy....darKness
third eye blind sings "deep inside of you"
not cute, is quaint, not romantic, is hungry, not sauve, is savvy....darKness
third eye blind's "deep inside of you"
:::::::when we met light was shed thoughts free flow you said you've got something deep inside of you a wind chime voice sounds sway your hips round rings true it goes deep inside of you these secret garden beams changed my life so it seems fall breeze blows outside i dont break stride my thoughts are warm and they go deep inside of you and i never felt alone till i met you friends say ive changed i dont listen 'cuz i live to be deep inside of you slide of her dress shouts in darkness, im so alive im deep inside of you you said boy make girl feel good but still, deep inside still ive never felt alone till i met you im alright on my own and then i met you and i'd know what to do if i just knew what's coming i would change myself if i could i'd walk with my people if i could find them and i'd say that im sorry to you im sorry to you and i dont want to call you but then i want to call you 'cuz i dont want to crush you but i feel like crushing you, and it's true i took for granted you were with me i breathe by your looks and you look right through me but we were broken and didn't know we were broken and didn't know we were broken and didn't know we were broken and didn't know something's gone, you withdraw and im not strong like before i was deep inside of you i can go nowhere i burn candles and stare at a ghost deep inside of you and some great need in me, starts to bleed ive lost my self there's nothing left, it's all gone deep inside of you:::::::
:::::::when we met light was shed thoughts free flow you said you've got something deep inside of you a wind chime voice sounds sway your hips round rings true it goes deep inside of you these secret garden beams changed my life so it seems fall breeze blows outside i dont break stride my thoughts are warm and they go deep inside of you and i never felt alone till i met you friends say ive changed i dont listen 'cuz i live to be deep inside of you slide of her dress shouts in darkness, im so alive im deep inside of you you said boy make girl feel good but still, deep inside still ive never felt alone till i met you im alright on my own and then i met you and i'd know what to do if i just knew what's coming i would change myself if i could i'd walk with my people if i could find them and i'd say that im sorry to you im sorry to you and i dont want to call you but then i want to call you 'cuz i dont want to crush you but i feel like crushing you, and it's true i took for granted you were with me i breathe by your looks and you look right through me but we were broken and didn't know we were broken and didn't know we were broken and didn't know we were broken and didn't know something's gone, you withdraw and im not strong like before i was deep inside of you i can go nowhere i burn candles and stare at a ghost deep inside of you and some great need in me, starts to bleed ive lost my self there's nothing left, it's all gone deep inside of you:::::::
my slip-discs in the spine are like totally butchering me alive. the pain practically forced me to wake up at like four-in-the-morning, and i had to pop painkillers again, so that i could get some precious sleep in. this does not bode well for the impending field camp. i remembered when i was doing my BMT, and towards the end of the more insane training, including field camp, i was like popping up to 4pills each day. may God have mercy on me this time round.
an update for the The Booksellers* is that the inventory situation is looking very healthy at the moment, even when its draining alot of funds from us, like having to buy bookshelves, and of cos, the essential books. and its true that i'll NOT launch the whole online setup, until im satisfied with the quantity of books that i have. currently, it stands at 817 titles of fiction/literature. and if including multiple copies, i have exactly 1397 books all in total. my room is already groaning at its seams for having to pack in so many books.
third eye blind sings "never let you go"
i make paper aeroplanes and fly it out from my 17th floor room....darKness
an update for the The Booksellers* is that the inventory situation is looking very healthy at the moment, even when its draining alot of funds from us, like having to buy bookshelves, and of cos, the essential books. and its true that i'll NOT launch the whole online setup, until im satisfied with the quantity of books that i have. currently, it stands at 817 titles of fiction/literature. and if including multiple copies, i have exactly 1397 books all in total. my room is already groaning at its seams for having to pack in so many books.
third eye blind sings "never let you go"
i make paper aeroplanes and fly it out from my 17th floor room....darKness
Friday, October 17, 2003
:::::::when im coming up for air, i'll surely glup a few and carry on to make you a good cup of tea. i wish i could say that you left me numb whenever i think of you, but i see no reason why. i dont intend to use any lies on you and will slowly explain where i got those lines from. i'll indulge you in my becoming & allow you change my thinking of certain things too. all this so that i wont end hapless in paradise. i might give you a million reasons of the manner why i have to deal with matters in either servitude or arrogance. and yet, you know that i am right or at least, i'll be right about it. moving too fast is a trait that i display without tact so learn to bear with it, and i promise i'll learn to move slower. i 'll spew careless words that will batter your heart-shaped box but i'll learn to shut up. i'll read my books and end up leaving you out in the cold. my actions, some of them will border on the extreme of being criminalistic but exonoration isn't what im seeking for. i dont do it for the thrill but for a decent chance of survival. a flower one or two is what you might receive but i'll surely pull the moon in for you so that the tide will change for you. and when i dont want to speak, you can pout too. i wont pick a fight with you but that doesn't mean i wont harbour subtle means. all this should matter for now. so when im coming up for air, i'll carry on to make you a good cup of tea:::::::
paul oakenfold makes "i forgot the song title"
and God said to kenny, "Dig your own hole , and be spiffy about it"....darKnEss
paul oakenfold makes "i forgot the song title"
and God said to kenny, "Dig your own hole , and be spiffy about it"....darKnEss
Thursday, October 16, 2003
now, i know why i had quit drinking in the first-place. broke the rule again last night, paid the consequences when i woke up this morning. only glad that i didn't proceed to break the other rule of smoking. but i could tell i was innately very tempted to drag on one. alright, life still has to go on, my 3weeks reservist is coming up next monday, and so most of the current biz workings have to be put on hold. of cos, will still try to tweak the inventory level spiralling upwards if i could spare the time & strength to run down to the warehouse. and i seriously think that The Booksellers* will make the cut. the online version by end of this year, and the store by august next year, ive got to be deliriously optimistic. guess i'll have to break my piggy-bank soon.
the boxcar racer kids sings "and i"
and i want her, need her, and you always will pull me through....darKness
the boxcar racer kids sings "and i"
and i want her, need her, and you always will pull me through....darKness
Wednesday, October 15, 2003
this is a no-good-doer annoucement from the black-sheep member of The Booksellers* for those who a fetish for wanting to know the winner of this year's Booker Prize winner, well, here are the damn results, and im estatically happy that he had won. he deserves it and i think monica ali's "brick lane" would have a close second.
:::::::DBC Pierre's "vernon god little":::::::
yesh, that is the winner that you are looking at. imagine carrying home the award, getting extreme high book sales just from the award recognition, and not to mention the $50,000.00 in STERLING POUNDS of prize money that mr. pierre is going to lug home, all the way back to wallaby-land. that lucky bastard.
linkin park screams "crawling"
i have my fears too but i choose to continue doing it until everything has come full-circle....darkness
:::::::DBC Pierre's "vernon god little":::::::
yesh, that is the winner that you are looking at. imagine carrying home the award, getting extreme high book sales just from the award recognition, and not to mention the $50,000.00 in STERLING POUNDS of prize money that mr. pierre is going to lug home, all the way back to wallaby-land. that lucky bastard.
linkin park screams "crawling"
i have my fears too but i choose to continue doing it until everything has come full-circle....darkness
Tuesday, October 14, 2003
went out with the rest to watch underworld earlier this evening....it was good.
was watching alias at home(which was a very exciting episode!) when fm called me. had a great 2hrs15mins talk and we learnt some new things about each other...it's nice. after that, went to myspace and emailed marisa and evan back.. and now, will get down to some serious work, my essay, which is due tomorrow. big sigh......
cya guys..take care..have fun!
marlena
was watching alias at home(which was a very exciting episode!) when fm called me. had a great 2hrs15mins talk and we learnt some new things about each other...it's nice. after that, went to myspace and emailed marisa and evan back.. and now, will get down to some serious work, my essay, which is due tomorrow. big sigh......
cya guys..take care..have fun!
marlena
Monday, October 13, 2003
unfortunately, UNDERWORLD is considered a flop...its like seen it all before movie
EXCEPT for the tight fitting seductive leather outfit on Celine...so petite to its cutest....
the sword seems taller and bigger than her.. hahah
u see afterall they cant bear to disfigure that michael corvin...still need to make him pleasant..wats up man... i thot he will turn the most hideous of them all...wat a let down.....
watching smallville...wah so exciting
neo
EXCEPT for the tight fitting seductive leather outfit on Celine...so petite to its cutest....
the sword seems taller and bigger than her.. hahah
u see afterall they cant bear to disfigure that michael corvin...still need to make him pleasant..wats up man... i thot he will turn the most hideous of them all...wat a let down.....
watching smallville...wah so exciting
neo
something damn hilarious happened earlier while i was trying to buy tixs to the "underworld" show. had to buy 5tixs becos deafknee, asra, stace, marlena, and moi are watching together. as usual i headed up to the counter, asked for 5tixs, pointed out the seats that i wanted, and was about to pay. then suddenly the auntie ask me what are the ages of my the other 4 friends. she said they have to be over 16 (the show is rated nc-16) to be allowed in. and i said they are definitely over sixteen. then even more hilarious, she asked me what my age was. i replied that i was twenty-five, trying my best to contain my laughing, and she gave me this evil-eye-look, like i was lying. then out of curiosity, i asked the auntie "how old does she think i was". she replied deadpanly that i look 20....gosh, for the soul of my evil-self, she said i look twenty. this explains why the ladies in the clubs are not picking me up, becos i look like a kid.
john mayer sings "bigger than my body"
dei again lah....darkness
john mayer sings "bigger than my body"
dei again lah....darkness
Sunday, October 12, 2003
made friends with this girl from florida on myspace. at first i happened to see her profile and after reading it, i went thinking like "yeah..she seems friendly..maybe i should send her an email.." and so i did. i was surprised that she replied and i was even more surprised that she don't mind being friend with a complete stranger from singapore. hmm...singapore...where is that??!! hahahaha. OH! oops..i forgot to say this.. her name is marisa by the way.
i hope we will stay friends for long..real friends and not someone who will just touch and go in your life. and we do have something in common. we are working on having close girl friends..hehehhehehe...
song: if you fall by azure ray (introduced by marisa)
marlena
i hope we will stay friends for long..real friends and not someone who will just touch and go in your life. and we do have something in common. we are working on having close girl friends..hehehhehehe...
song: if you fall by azure ray (introduced by marisa)
marlena
i believe im going to break my own personal record of having a kickass migraine. it has been bugging me for like 3straight days already, and my worst one yet, had lasted me for 5days. and my painkillers are like working like a bunch of sissies, suppressing the pain for a couple of hours before it comes back to haunt me again. and yesh, i'd like to partake in marlena's family-groceries-buying-spree-at-a-provision-store-that-is-no-way-near-where-you-are-staying-now, in future, becos it sounds so fun. maybe what the members of the The Booksellers can do, is to rent a respectable place of their own, stay together, and we can go grocery shopping together. marlena has lived on her own before, im more than used to living on my own, zakk surely can cut it, and nEo might need some coaxing, but im sure he'll come through.
boxcar racer sings "watch the world"
die lah....darkness
boxcar racer sings "watch the world"
die lah....darkness
Saturday, October 11, 2003
Wow! i followed my parents to our old home in Woodlands Circle and guess what we did there?!! just to shop for our groceries in one of the minimart under the block! this minimart is owned by a chinese couple and it's air-conditioned. and my parents like to do ALOT of grocery shopping. and i really mean ALOT! we have to take a cab to bring back all those groceries. it's like we are having a war and we are stocking up our household supply for months! that's one thing i love about my parents..they are weird. we bought like 20 cans of sweeteners, 6 packets of rice, 12 cans of campbells(different flavours), 5 packets of sugar, many packets of curry and asam laksa flavoured maggi mees, 6 cans of tuna, 4 packets of spaghettis, 4 packets of macaroni, 4 bottles of prego tomatoes, 3 bottles of kraft cheese spread, 2 bottles of mayo, 3 bottles of soya bean sauce, 3 bottles of chilli sauce, 5 bottles of oil, 30 eggs, 4 HL milk, 4 packets of sausages, 3 packets of fishballs, 3 bottles of rose and orange syrup, 4 tubes of darlie toothpastes, 3 dove and organic shampoos, 3 dove and palmolive shower gels, 10 dettol soaps, 3 facial wash, 3 packets of biscuits, a huge pack of seaweed, lots of snacks and lots of spices and ingredients. total amount spent is $248.35. Wah lau! i can buy a new pair of trainers or a watch or a discman or new clothes or deposit it into the booksellers's savings with that amount of money!
it was fun anyway and i love the stares that we got from people when we got out from the minimart with all those bags...hahahahhaaa....
well, gonna cook some macaroni now..
song: laid (matt nathanson)
marlena
it was fun anyway and i love the stares that we got from people when we got out from the minimart with all those bags...hahahahhaaa....
well, gonna cook some macaroni now..
song: laid (matt nathanson)
marlena
the night before, after catching "Seabiscuit" with marlena, i ended with a blaster of a migraine attack, the moment i stepped home. so instead of popping painkillers again, i decided to sleep it off (purportedly the best cure for a migraine). and when i got up this morning the damn migraine was still lingering. i just had my lunch at like 5pm, having slept most of the day away, and now i feel like hitting the sack again. and i tink i still have rice wine lingering in my system too, becos my piss smells faintly of alcohol. had also just bought George Orwell's "Essays', a damn bloody thick book, but then it collects all of mr. orwell's essays that he had ever written, in chronological order too. also bought Adolf Hitler's "Mein Kampf". and im looking for someone to give me the correct pronounciation of "Mein Kampf" becos i strongly believe that im uttering it wrongly. any helpers out, just give mea buzz, even if it means that im falling asleep infront the computer now.
paris combo sings "attraction"
i have a bad-ass migraine, i need a lobectomy....darkness
paris combo sings "attraction"
i have a bad-ass migraine, i need a lobectomy....darkness
Friday, October 10, 2003
please allow me to write a eulogy for a friend.
we were made into friends the day when we traded "mask" stickers to complete our collection, and we were both at a spiritly nine years of age. we attended opposing primary schools, you kheng cheng, me heng a khe bong. our schoolmates & we had our fair share of skirmishes which were usually verbal vulgar jeering, and nothing else more, and maybe the occassional adult-imitating spitting. but once school was over, we were fellow neighbourhood kids, knowing that growing up in toa payoh was a privilege, and you couldn't believe that i was christain, and i went to church on Sundays. we were kids so we released waterbombs from your 12th floor hdb flat. we gambled too, playing blackjack, and even conspired to cheat the other newer kids. with somewhat miraculous outcome, we passed our psles, and ended up in the same sec sch, albeitly different classes. and under the crooked wings of my elder brother's friends, we were made into another class. we swore the same oath, and drank from the same cup. but i did managed to get out, knowing that that is not the life i want. i do not know why you stayed or was it becos you couldn't leave at all. i never asked. i can never ask you since i have left. now, tonight, i'll wear this sackcloth for you. i'll stand infront of your wife & 2-year-old boy, and say that everything will be alrite. i'll make this mark for you one last time. and i wished that we were kids again, playing our childish games & childish pranks.
kenny
we were made into friends the day when we traded "mask" stickers to complete our collection, and we were both at a spiritly nine years of age. we attended opposing primary schools, you kheng cheng, me heng a khe bong. our schoolmates & we had our fair share of skirmishes which were usually verbal vulgar jeering, and nothing else more, and maybe the occassional adult-imitating spitting. but once school was over, we were fellow neighbourhood kids, knowing that growing up in toa payoh was a privilege, and you couldn't believe that i was christain, and i went to church on Sundays. we were kids so we released waterbombs from your 12th floor hdb flat. we gambled too, playing blackjack, and even conspired to cheat the other newer kids. with somewhat miraculous outcome, we passed our psles, and ended up in the same sec sch, albeitly different classes. and under the crooked wings of my elder brother's friends, we were made into another class. we swore the same oath, and drank from the same cup. but i did managed to get out, knowing that that is not the life i want. i do not know why you stayed or was it becos you couldn't leave at all. i never asked. i can never ask you since i have left. now, tonight, i'll wear this sackcloth for you. i'll stand infront of your wife & 2-year-old boy, and say that everything will be alrite. i'll make this mark for you one last time. and i wished that we were kids again, playing our childish games & childish pranks.
kenny
Thursday, October 09, 2003
my immune system is off balance today. maybe i had way too much to drink last night and now i have to pay the price. woke up with a splitting headache (a hangover obviously..) but felt much better later in the afternoon. but i still feel abit off for the rest of the day. guess the alcohol is still swimming around in my body. and what could be more worst than to have diarrhoea as well! tried looking around for my diarrhoea pills but they went missing! hmmm...still wondering where they are...
and i have decided to skip school tomorrow so that i have ample of rest to tackle my school assignments during the weekend. i'm like screwed cuz i'm supposed to hand in one of my drafts last week and i still haven't get down to it yet! so kids, take this piece of advice, don't leave things to the last minute. it is real sucky when that happens..(waahhh....give advice as if i'm so old already! hahahaha...)
song: kryptonite (3 doors down)
marlena
and i have decided to skip school tomorrow so that i have ample of rest to tackle my school assignments during the weekend. i'm like screwed cuz i'm supposed to hand in one of my drafts last week and i still haven't get down to it yet! so kids, take this piece of advice, don't leave things to the last minute. it is real sucky when that happens..(waahhh....give advice as if i'm so old already! hahahaha...)
song: kryptonite (3 doors down)
marlena
and yesh, im reading like madness again, im like exactly devouring my literature. at last count, im reading George Orwell's "Down and Out in Paris and London", Isabella Tree's "Sliced Iguana", and Ann Patchett's "The Patron Saint of Liars". and in the background, im also reading some biz-related literature. i guess reading is better off compared to sloshing my brain cells infront of the tube. my left hand's 4 fingernails (except the thumb) are still painted black, and i really dig getting weird stares from the singaporean public. i think my dad had seen it but he's like keeping mum about it. my dad is not usually that understanding but then he's reasonable and after all, im his only son. and i just got a call from Rudy kor kor, that our cheque from Times is finally in. shall go down later in the evening to collect it. hooray, at long last, sustenance in the form of money.
boxcar racer sings "there is"
one by one, two by two, three by three, four by four, like a catlike thief....darkness
boxcar racer sings "there is"
one by one, two by two, three by three, four by four, like a catlike thief....darkness
Tuesday, October 07, 2003
for those who are wondering, we're still working on the online site for the The Booksellers, and progress has been slow *due to me* but its moving nonetheless. im going all screwy with keying so many synopsis for the books and soon, i'll need to do some serious scanning-in of the frontcovers. theres like no end, and in 2weeks time, my reservist in-camp training is descending on me like some sort of an execution. i hate reservist, its going to kill all time needed for the The Booksellers. the bloody reservist will be for a duration of 3weeks, and at the end of it, there'll be a field camp thrown in for good sadistic measure. i cant imagine myself camo-outfitted, gun-wielding, topo-idiot, and learning all the war tactics there are to know, after 2 long years. fark, i hate my coming reservist hell already.
weezer sings "buddy holly"
readin' george orwell's "down and out in paris and london
i will eat myself alive one of these days....darkness
weezer sings "buddy holly"
readin' george orwell's "down and out in paris and london
i will eat myself alive one of these days....darkness
Monday, October 06, 2003
i wont go under. i wont be broken. i wont scream in pain. i wont be put down. i will embrace torment. i will relish this thorn in my flesh. i will eat you alive. i will fall faster than you ever can. i will witness that light is drawn to darkness. i simply wont be broken. theres nowhere to run, and you cant even hide.
evanescence sings "going under"
am readin' isabella tree's "sliced iguana"
i will always be a huckster....darkness
evanescence sings "going under"
am readin' isabella tree's "sliced iguana"
i will always be a huckster....darkness
Seth Green is my favourite guy on the big screen right now. The epitome of intelligence, technology-savvy and not forgetting that he's cute! Aahhh....those green eyes...they could melt me away.....hahahahahaha...
gonna go to bed now. hopefully, i will dream of him tonite. but before that, i'm going to pop in two paracetamols..my wisdom tooth is at it again..darn.
marlena
gonna go to bed now. hopefully, i will dream of him tonite. but before that, i'm going to pop in two paracetamols..my wisdom tooth is at it again..darn.
marlena
Saturday, October 04, 2003
i'm pissed at erna. she's late. called me to say that she will be home by 3 but look at the time now. and we have a religious feast to attend with my parents later at my uncle's house. fasting is coming and we will usually have this kinda thing to pray for our late grandmother (my mum's mother). sigh...will have to search for a baju kurung in my mum's wardrobe now cuz i don't own one for years! and have to prepare myself to face my aunties and uncles and all those pinching of cheeks as though i'm still a baby..sigh.
song: a sorta fairytale (tori amos)
marlena
song: a sorta fairytale (tori amos)
marlena
Friday, October 03, 2003
i tink marlena's lizard laid dead becos of calcium deficiency, a frequent occurence in most lizard type pets. and it laid so stiff when dead becos rigor mortis had set in, and somemore it is a cold-blooded animal too. now for my version of pet stories. when my mom told me that they had to put my pet dog to sleep early this year, my heart cracked. eversince i had moved out from my mom's place, i had not seen my pet dog for like 3 years, and now its dead due to old age. alas, it was not meant to be. i loved my pet dog, Cheeky. he was like a brother to me, had him since i was like 13....it was a farking sad day.
tori amos sings "spark"
talking about gloria, singing hosanah....darkness
tori amos sings "spark"
talking about gloria, singing hosanah....darkness
Thursday, October 02, 2003
Few of the blocks in my neighbourhood are undergoing some renovation works. The contractors painted the blocks with new paint (which is the same colour as my living room! COPYCAT!! hehehehe...). They painted the walls, the ceilings, the w/c storage compartments of every level and they even cleaned the whole blocks with huge gushes of water. I was lying on my bed, staring at the ceiling one afternoon when suddenly, the contractors closed my bedroom windows abruptly and started spraying water all over the place to get rid of all those dirts. Then they closed my kitchen windows and started spraying water on them too. But one side of the windows is not shut properly and the water and dirt got through and wet my hamsters' cages. I was pissed and i shouted but of course, they could not hear me amidst the loud gushes of water hitting against my windows. Sigh...my poor hamsters were busy cleaning and drying themselves. They look sooo cute! and oh! fyi, their names are "ballet" (the mother), "greedy" (the father) and "coward" (the child). Actually, i have another baby hamster but he was bitten to earth on the neck by "coward". Sibling rivalry i guess. Previously, i also had two big terapins called "gummi" and "tummy" but i released them to this big pond in my neighbourhood. And i'm supposed to have a third terapin but my young sis threw it down the rubbish chute cuz she thought i would be angry for bringing another one home. That last terapin would be named "yummy" if my sis had not decided on its unfortunate fate. Sigh....and my family had a green iguana named "pippit" but it died about 4 years ago. Cause of death - don't know. it just lay stiff dead ...maybe old age. Sigh again........well....i guess you guys now know abit more of my pet history....ain't it nice....
song: bright lights by matchbox 20
marlena
song: bright lights by matchbox 20
marlena
im tired. im so tired. im very tired. im so damn freakin' tired. im tired, tired, tired, tired. im filled with tiredness. im imbued with tired spasms. im raptured with tired feelings. im so tired. but had spent a nice short afternoon with serena.
evanescence sings "going under"
im going to listen to this song until i fall asleep, hoping that it'll give me nightmares....darkness
evanescence sings "going under"
im going to listen to this song until i fall asleep, hoping that it'll give me nightmares....darkness
