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its sad to hear of Anita Mui's passing when punisher messaged me at around 8-ish in the morning. was definitely a shocker since i'd have thot that she'd not succumb to cancer. i mightn't have known her at all but to a great extent, i had grew up listening to her songs & watching her movies. i was partly brought up in a household where cantopop music and rented cantonese drama serials & movies had a pretty prevalent existence. i can still remember those slapstick comedies that she acted together with eric tsang, stephen chow, and her "disciples" the grasshoppers. then there were her "the heroic trio" movies whom she starred together with maggie cheung & michelle yeoh. i also remembered her in "rumble in the bronx" together with jackie chan. she had also acted in a number of period-kung-fu flicks with andy lau & aaron kwok, and there were so much more. but the one that she herself most loved & remembered was "yan zhi kuo" whom she had acted together with leslie cheung, who had also passed away on 1st april this year. like i said, i mightn't have known her personally at all but she'll be missed. she was 40 this year and in consolation, she had left with all her close friends beside her, and with a smile.
the grasshoppers sing "awaiting release"
darKNess

very interesting hmmmmmmm....

you are mediumspringgreen #00FA9A

Your dominant hues are cyan and green. Although you definately strive to be logical you care about people and know there's a time and place for thinking emotionally. Your head rules most things but your heart rules others, and getting them to meet in the middle takes a lot of your energy some days. Your saturation level is very high - you are all about getting things done. The world may think you work too hard but you have a lot to show for it, and it keeps you going. You shouldn't be afraid to lead people, because if you're doing it, it'll be done right. Your outlook on life is bright. You see good things in situations where others may not be able to, and it frustrates you to see them get down on everything.

the spacefem.com html color quiz

darKness

was watching LoveActually when fm called. asked him why but he told me to enjoy watching the show first and his LOTR show which he was watching with melissa is starting soon anyway. he will talk to me later. anyway, i've already knew of the matter beforehand and i wasn't abit perturbed about it all. what did bother me is that i don't like things about me or that happened to me being 'broadcast' to others. it's like my personal life is an open book and i feel that my privacy is being invaded. i think it's time for it to stop. for once, i wish that God create human beings with pure hearts. a real pure heart...

marlena

had caught LoveActually with marlena the day before, and ive to say that it has to be the best movie that ive seen for this entire year, in the theatres anyway. its surely better than lotr becos throughout the former, i was pinning for the show to end and felt so tired after the 3half-hour run. but for LoveActually which was actually roughly 3hours in length too, amazing, i was hoping that it wouldn't end. after all each story inside of it, deserved even more fleshing, and its own individual spots. at the end of the day, British movies has never failed to disappoint me and i'll certainly want to watch it again soon. i even told marlena that choosing BooksActually as our name has to be the best idea so far. so you see, love is actually all around whether its between families, friends or lovers.
joni mitchell sings "both sides"
leaving you on a sunny monday morning....darKness

went to supper last night and it was so-so. the table was abit too long for everyone to share the same conversation. and luckily there was fm. he let me share the cab with him because i'm running low on cash right now.
btw, i witnessed a road accident while waiting for the rest to finish their shifts. i am still traumatised by the road accident that i was involved in a few weeks ago and last night's event is not helping at all. it sent shivers down my spine. literally.

marlena

its now 2:57am in this wide-eye morning, had sneaked off to sleep for awhile just now, like for 4hours, and im now almost wide awake. will continue to wrap more books and simultaneously think of the marketing/advertising antics that we'd have to get up to soon enough. will have to learn how to stay on these roads better from now on. and strangely enough, i can actually hear the wind howling now. and finally, may i pray that the blessings meant for me, may it be passed along to the people around me who might need it more than i do. at least when everything fails, i know i can turn to God.
ub40 sings "red red wine"
trip trip and run like mad....darKness

im dead farking tired & spent but shall bury myself with more work. need to get my mind off everything. so shall bury myself with work, work, and more work.
3 doors down sings live "here without you"
the miles might separate us but they disappear now when im dreamin' of your face....darKness

in the meantime, my eyes & mind are not obeying my command to wake up even though i had consumed 10,000 cuppas of coffee. i need rest from all these thinking & worrying for BooksActually. im afraid im turning into a worrying-wart. haiz.... so now, i can muster just enough strength to do this....

happy belated birthday milkchair girl

3 doors down singing "here without you"
the miles might separate us but they disappear now when im dreaming of your face....darKness

BRITNEY SPEARS - "My Only Wish This Year"

Last night I took a walk in the snow.
Couples holding hands, places to go
Seems like everyone but me is in love.

Santa can you hear me
I signed my letter that I sealed with a kiss
I sent it off
It just said this
I know exactly what I want this year.
Santa can you hear me.
I want my baby (baby, yeah)
I want someone to love me someone to hold me.
Maybe (maybe, maybe maybe.)
he'll be all my own in a big red bow

Santa can you hear me?
I have been so good this year and all I want is one thing
Tell me my true love is near
He's all I want, just for me underneath my christmas tree
I'll be waiting here.
Santa thats my only wish this year.
oohhh ohh yeah
Christmas Eve I just can't sleep
Would I be wrong for taking a peek?
Cause I heard that you'r coming to town


**this is for stacey. although i know she won't be able to read this, it's for her anyway. merry x'mas, singing partner!!**marlena

hope your christmas celebrations has been good so far. i slept almost the whole day away. darn tired and my last off day was last wednesday! woke up, showered, ate and watched lots of tv...and it was raining.. and it makes me want to stay in even more. aaahhh...a perfect R & R.
did weigh myself today. suspected to put on a few kilos after all those sinful indulgences since the hari raya and i was right! hahahahaha....
there was alot of chocolates going around at work lately and boy, was i high on calories!! no wonder i could still do late nights even though i have not had my off day for slightly more than a week! and my pimples are popping out!! aaarrrggghhhh!!!
anyway, have MORE fun. i know someone is right now. he's gonna get wasted tonight.....as usual. hahahahaa.

marlena

merry xmas

darKness

merry xmas and a happy new year everybody.....
make more money and make more merry....
punisher

i have got to be so NAIVE thinking that i'll be having christmas eve dinner with my dad and my step-family. looks like ive assumed wrong again. i just got home from returning daph's digicam (sorry for the inconvinience, deafknee), and the moment, i stepped into the house, my dad informed me that i needed to get my own dinner. that was almost music to my ears if i was actually emotionless. they've just left the house, and i have also just finished wrapping my little-step sis & bro's prezzies. hope they'll like it. im determined tonight not to eat instant noodles but instead im heading downstairs to get my eats. it christmas eve, i better get myself proper eats. and now, im stoning myself away on the cranberries's "i cant be with you". as usual, i'd like to share the lyrics of this wonderful song, and it is made even better becos im listening to the live version.

lying in my bed again, and i cry 'cause you're not here. crying in my head again, and i know that it's not clear. put your hands, put your hands, inside my face and see that it's just you. but it's bad and it's mad and it's making me sad, because i cant be with you. be with you. be with you, be with you, baby, i cant be with you. thinking back on how things were, and on how we loved so well. i wanted to be the father of your child, and now it's just farewell. put your hands in my hands, and come with me, we'll find another end. and my head, and my head on anyone's shoulder, 'cause i cant be with you. be with you. be with you, be with you, baby, i cant be with you. 'cause you're not here, you're not here, baby, i cant be with you. 'cause you're not here, you're not here, baby, still in love with you. still in love with you. still in love with you. still in love with you. still in love with you. still in love with you. still in love with you.
the cranberries sings live "i cant be with you"
when you're not around, i'll look at the brightest star and call out your name in the air....darKness

i had instant noodles for both lunch & dinner yesterday, and just earlier, i had instant noodles again for lunch. im wondering is it becos im too lazy to go to the coffeshop downstairs to get proper food or am i using the excuse of saving money???? or maybe its both. Merry Christmas everyone, well, almost.
a-ha sings "stay on these roads"
thinking of you always....darKness

trip trip and its going to rain like crazy again. had a very slow start to my working day, didn't get much done at all, and now trying to make up for it. might have to run an errand later. in the meantime, look at me when im not aware, then you'll see that i cannot do without you.
a-ha sings "stay on these roads"
darKness

really really wanted to get the brown-coloured adidas rekod shoes but fahmy said there's no discount for that as it is a new stock. aarrrggghhh! got myself the black-coloured one instead and had 45% off the original price!! COOL!!
gonna accompany erna to her new secondary school tomorrow and have to buy lots of stuff for her like her books, uniforms, bag, shoes....it's gonna be a pretty tiring day! and to top it all up, i have to work later in the afternoon! SIGH!
a great song is on the radio right now but i have no idea who sang it...very sweet x'mas song. i like it! gonna use every means and ways to find out the title and artiste's name!
YAWN! retiring to bed after this..my body feels tired but my mind is so damn active..
marlena

had got home at around eleven-ish, marlena bought her shoes while stace got her 21inch TV, and i decided to indulge abit myself too by buying a-ha's "greatest hits" cd. besides buying the addidas bag last week, this cd is something that i had been wanting to buy since like 7/8 years back, so now, i have finally got it. hopefully, the indulgence will stop here for now. am very tired now, can barely keep my eyes open but i just made a cup of extra strong coffee cos i still need to update the inventory for the stocks that i had acquired today. and after that, hope i can hold out long enough to continue wrapping more books. bumped into asra at the store today and she volunteered to help us wrap the books. *yey yey* *three cheers to asra* thankoot girl. had also bumped into 2 friends while trolling at suntec & citylink mall earlier. one was from sec sch days and the other was from poly. freddy (from sec sch) seems as young as ever, and still has that edge in him. i guess all the four of us (from sec sch)still have that edge deep inside of us. we were very close then and now us four, have very different lives but we had lived a similar past too, and nothing can ever change that. the second friend i bumped into was francis from my poly days. he still the same senior that i had respected & took advice from. he's a valuable friend and am glad to see him again.
a-ha sings "stay on these roads"
when we meet and say goodbye....darKness

from today 22nd-december03 till end of 31st-december, i'll be working. what the farking dickens, you might say but i like to work, other than complaining about it. after all, its for BooksActually. work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work....
mew sings "she came home for christmas"
pop the pills and say your grace....darKness

i'll be having christmas lunch with mom & korkor on boxing day i guess, and i should be having christmas dinner with dad on christmas day itself. so this means i'll be growing fat, stuffed with lotsa of food while other people are starving or dying. though christmas week till the end of the year will be pretty sucky for me but maybe, i should think less of myself and think more of others. its time you or i asked sincerely when was the last time you gave a $10 note to those charity-peddlers along orchard road???? i think mine was a month back and God has just woken me up telling me to give more. yesh we should give more, and not just christmas. i used to have this all-year-round-christmas project that i'd do. its simply choosing one day in each month, and in that one day you set out to do something nice/special for someone that you do not know. i had chose 25th of every month and on that day, you could give $10.00 to the SPCA/Children's Society charity-box found outside the pasta fresca restaurant at lido. or you could give to the old lady that blows her harmonica, quick-taps her clogs, and moving in rhythm all at the same time at orchard mrt. or you could give up your seat in the train/bus to that elderly/pregnant person. or you could buy up everything that the old lady sells along the orchard road underpass towards lido, believe me, it wont cost you more than $50, and you can further surprise her by quickly giving her the money and then running away without taking the stuff you were buying. or you could volunteer one saturday morning every month at the chesire childrens home, and simply spent time playing with kids for that 3hours of that one morning only. or you could be nice to everyone at work by buying them chocolates. so by now, im sure you know where im getting at. i'll be growing fat after those 2 separate heavy meals that im having with my parents while other people that i dont know of starve or die. so will you be growing fat this christmas too????
mew sings "she came home for christmas"
give, give, give, give, give, give, give....darKness

sheesh, i just learnt from my sources that my ex have been telling all the new staff at Borders that my current occupation is a BOOKIE, and im running my BOOKIE operation in wheelock place. as you can see, there are certain twisted facts here. first of all, ive never ever been a BOOKIE, a RUNNER for a bookie was instead what i did like 10,000 years ago. i was a RUNNER which makes it a very big difference from being a bookie. and if i was bookie, i wouldn't be so damn broke now, surviving on instant noodles for most of my meals. and secondly, which right-savvy-minded bookie would want to run his/her operation inside wheelock place, which would roughly chalk up at least $15,000k in rental every month. im pretty certain that the bookie prefers earning that $15,000k than splurging it on some swanky air-conditioned carpeted office. believe me when i say that you can run a bookie operation equally well from a rented HDB flat too. finally thirdly, what makes her think that the landlord, Marco Polo will rent their office premises to bookies???? i rest my case for now and i should be laughing my head off but i cant. why???? becos my patience is wearing very very thin.
when i just switched on the radio 90.5fm, they were playing crosby, stills and nash's "our house"
when i became sleepless, thinking of you, missing you....darKness

You held my hand again. I admit that I like the feeling. But I guess we have to draw the line. I feel as though I'm a yo-yo. Sometimes, you lift me up and there were times where you just plainly let me down. I'm not really sure what you want but whenever you do that thing you do, I just melt..yeah, I know it sounds sappy but that's exactly how I feel..hahaha..
I will never stop caring for you and I'll always be here if you need me. You are one of those rare close friends that I have and I do not wish to lose you.
Take care.
Gdnite.

marlena

it was good while it lasted. thanks for the sweet memories.
kenny - cheer up.
kevin - get prepared for another meeting.
zakk - so long never really chat with you. cya..

marlena

p.s i think kahar is cute. can't believe i said that but...yeah..

song at the moment: displaced - azure ray
last night taught me something pretty important. to always make sure that i bring my keys along.

marlena

oh my gawd. just caught a rerun of felicity on channel 5! keri russell is as cute as ever and so is scott speedman! hehehehe...im so happy!! i smsed almost everyone telling them that im so delighted that it's on! hahaha..my apologies to kenny, kevin, daphne, stacey, farokh, faizal, aisyah, asra, lee jen, shahrul, peizhen if my sms-es had caused any inconvenience! sorry ar..hehehehe. somehow, somewhere, someone must had heard my wish and decided to do a favour for this pathetic soul of mine and run the show once more!
daph just smsed me..she likes ben's new lab partner in the show! he's cute too! but i couldn't remember his name though.

marlena *grinning wildly*

hmmm..nothing much to say today..maybe there are a couple of things but i'm too lazy to jot it all down here right now. next time maybe..

marlena...

all right, suddenly we see alot of new names on our tagboard, and on behalf on my partners, we'd like to apologise & say a very BIG SORRY if we had got off on a bad footing. but we'd still hope to be able to know who you actually are instead of your nicknames on our tagboard. so if you're able to read this, im sure it has to be either me or my partners that had extended this "reading & sharing" invitation to you. and surely, we'd be glad to have more people joining into this small community of ours. but it all boils down to knowing who is that person behind the nicknames that you all have set up. you can say that im paranoid but i have really no wish for any of the managers to be reading this. please grant us this element of surprise on our competitors. so may we know who is Elle & Springcolours???? thank you.
darKness is just a facade for kenny

You know I'm getting down my friend
my life's all but over again
it's still the same feeling I have in my head
I cannot break cannot wake from the cold and dead.
But we all gotta go sometime
and if it's my time to embrace the light
then I'm ready to give up the fight,
yeah I'm ready to give up the fight.
I'm holding on too strong, too tight
It's gonna break or I think it just might
Yeah I'm ready to give up the fight
I'm ready to embrace the light.
But we all gotta go sometime
and if it's my time to embrace the light
then I'm ready to give up the fight,
yeah I'm ready to give up the fight.

marlena

had got back home at around four-ish, slept immediately with my mind being so drained, so used. and i cant believe that im awake at 8:51am in the morning, to answer a super-stomachache nature call. maybe my body is giving up on me. anewae, meeting marlena at 1pm later to deliver some books and also to get my addidas bag *yeah yeah*. will blog more later when i dont feel so drained. and yesh, thankyou God for getting me back to safe. it was close, too close.
ash sings "a life less ordinary"
the pride and the pain, what is it worth?....darKness

ALL MUST WATCH SURVIOR NOW..ITS THE FINALE TONITE....

punisher...

was flipping thru the many rubbish i had and i found this horoscope thingy that marlena & i had photcopied from one of the books while i was working at the dump. this one is about gemini which is me. it is like a 4page analysis lowdown but i'll just splice it all up and write the minimum here.
element: air. gemini air is like a pesky breeze on a day at the beach. it makes you squint, so you dont get a clear picture of what's happening around you.
quality: mutable. gemini is the human version of the revolving door.
symbol: the twins. double-trouble. double-talk. double-life. double-cross.
ruler: mercury, the god of mischief and deceit.
favourite pastime: jumping to the wrong conclusion.
favourite book: How to Get Anyone to Agree to Anything.
role model: the tasmanian devil.
dream job: gossip columnist
key phrase: "because i want to"
ash sings "a life less ordinary"
unforgettable....darKness

wanted to go to bed cuz there wasn't exactly anything in particular that could possibly keep me away from the boredom that was besieging me but my friends suddenly started calling me and we talked. and i have been thinking a fair bit about a certain issue lately and i don't know what to think of it. it's such a pity when you realised that people could be diabolical at times and that they will use you to their own advantage and gain. the worst thing is you don't even know you are being used! sigh...
anyway, on to the next topic. my favourite perfume in the world, Ralph Lauren's Romance, has broken into pieces. i'm really sad cuz it has sentimental value. BIG SIGH. it has been more than 4 hours now and the smell still lingers on. the whole house smell like as if there is some kind of Ralph Lauren exhibition going on.
i can't bear to throw the broken pieces away and decided to glue them back. kenny said it is more unique now. well, it signifies something new to me now and it isn't exactly something good. shall not indulge in it right now. anyway, it's just a perfume..silly me..

marlena

IM BACK....

keng PAI ...i realise that you seldom blog ah..but only to suan me... hope you are getting along fine :)

isaac...all the best..hit your quota...im still struggling with mine.. :)

Nicole...hows life gal...studies good?.... enjoy... :)

punisher now aka posterboy *blush*...

Dido's Life For Rent..
I haven't ever really found a place that I call home. I never stick around quite long enough to make it. I apologize that once again I'm not in love. But it's not as if I mind
that your heart ain't exactly breaking.
It's just a thought, only a thought
But if my life is for rent and I don't learn to buy. Well I deserve nothing more than I get. Cos nothing I have is truly mine. I've always thought that I would love to live by the sea. To travel the world alone and live more simply. I have no idea what's happened to that dream. As there's really nothing left here to stop me
It's just a thought, only a thought
But if my life is for rent and I don't learn to buy. Well I deserve nothing more than I get. Cos nothing I have is truly mine. While my heart is a shield and I won't let it down. While I am so afraid to fail so I won't even try. Well how can I say I'm alive
If my life is for rent…

marlena

at an early evening time, im left alone in the house again. dad & the rest are out and ive been told that i need to get my own eats. i had instant noodles for lunch, so might as well have it for dinner too. just dont feel like going down to the coffeshop no matter how much i love to walk in the drizzling rain. suddenly, i feel very very alone. like there's no one that i can really turn to except God. and listening to "streets of philadephia" on a loop isn't making me feel any better. not sure why im exactly like this now, feel as though im no longer invincible, instead vulnerable. isn't it ridiculous, im usually always the one who thinks he is invincible, headstrong, unreasonable, mean, evil, steadfast and confidant. but now, im vulnerable. haiz....like what mr. springsteen is singing right now "ain't no angel gonna greet me"
bruce springsteen sings "streets of philadephia"
in my beginning is my end....darKness

this sounds silly. did the closing shift and it was great. i can't believe i said that but it's the truth! hahaha. but one thing that bothered me was that i kept having dizzy spells whenever i walked in the store. i'm not sure whether it was due to the accident that i had a few days ago. or maybe there were just too many shoppers/browsers/nowhere-to-go-people in the store. but no worries! i have my handy and reliable axe oil in hand! yay! hahahaha!
no one or nothing actually spoilt my day at work! yay again! lotsa jokes, fooling around and interesting chit-chatting with new colleagues like adeline, vini, liyan, tracy, lindsay and the old ones like asra, farokh, peizhen, rafee, alubah and stacey who waited for us to finish our shift and to have supper together. oh! even met ex-staffs like aimye and keng pei! so nice! even eleanor emailed me today! and i couldn't believe that i even had two separate conversations with meishan which lasted more than the usual 2mins! hahahahaha....
and once the webstore is up, you guys should click and read the 'About Us' section. darkness wrote it and it's so farnnnnneeee. and darkness, before i forget, i think i will use my sumo squeezie as the pix. cant think of anything else!
stacey couldn't sleep and we had a long phone conversation just now. although we have been working for more than 3months now in the same room, this is our first phone conversation while we are at home ever! and i feel just greattt! hahahaha.
dandy. dandy. dandy........for now.

marlena

hey everyone. im sorry if i made some of you worried sick last nite. My mobile battery decided to die on me during the crucial moments. for those who are unaware, im involved in a road accident. but before you say "WHAT??!!" or anything like that, let me assure you that im alright. let me start from the very beginning..
it was my ex-boyfriend's birthday and he decided to fetch me since it was raining cats and dogs. when we were on the highway, thats when it all started. okay..the thing is im not really sure what happened but i do know that a motorcyclist cut in without signalling and thats when matt (my ex) couldnt step on the brakes on time and we hit him. then, the car behind us hit us with quite an impact that i was flung to the windscreen..my seatbelt wasnt tight. banged my head quite bad and matt had a twisted wrist. there was also another car or van that hit the car that hit us. am i making sense here?
anyway, i was in shock and i have this incredible pain in my head. matt kept making sure i was alright. then as usual, everyone came out of their vehicles to check whether there was any casualties. except for my banged up head, matt's twisted wrist, the motorcyclist's cuts and bruises and one of the drivers' real shock and panicky reaction, everyone else is okay.
i sat down, nursing my head while the drivers explained to one another, exchange contacts, insurance or whatever. it took more than half an hour. tried to call kenny but mobile died at the last min. managed to slip him an sms telling him about the accident and that i will call him as soon as everything is cleared up.
went to matt's hse and most of our friends were already there and had heard about the accident. matt had called them to inform that he will be late due to an accident and had asked them to carry on with the party.
i rested in matt's room which is in the attic..away from all the noise below. but the splitting headache wont go away and matt insisted that i seek medical attention. so both of us went to the hospital. matt had his wrist bandaged up while i had to be kept under observation for a few hours. scared i have brain damage..hahahaha..anyway, the swelling on my head did went down..
so, im back at matt's place now and im using his internet connection to inform you caring people that im alright. thanks for all the sms-es and im sorry that my mobile went flat and couldnt inform you guys that im okay. i couldnt use matt's cuz he's making urgent calls to his parents who are overseas and his house phone is ringing non-stop for god knows why. and oh man..his car is wrecked..the back looks awful. more $$$$ had to be spent. sigh..feel that im partly to blame cuz this wouldnt had happened if he did not fetch me in the first place.
so yeah..thats the story..morning glory. i was traumatised and couldnt remember most of the details..kenny said its normal and that its minor concussion. hahaha..trying not to move my head too much now...still feeling abit woozy..

erny

seriously, after hearing so much bout wats goin on in the store rite now..i am disgusted with all wat has happened...
too much clubbing for the staff and too many of those potluck thingys...and even the venue for clubbing sucks
where are the normal innnocent and enjoyable supper we used to have...
Too many trash goin on and sigh...i thot i missed the store ...now i am rather glad im out of it....in a way yeah...
well things do change and i just wish all the best to marlena, audrey, nisha (heard shes sick for a week), edmund and my bruader leo...wake up wake up...no point already...

punisher
when the children cry..white lion...

hello all, repeating what marlena had said earlier, we'll have to change our name due to reasons already explained. it was kinda of crappy when i found out the day-day before that we couldn't register the name, and was actually cracking my head over the new name. and amazingly, this time round, the new name came to us easily enough. marlena & i were making our way to suntec, and passed by this giant-long-stretch poster of the movie Love Actually. and immediately, without any second thots, marlena suggested that why dont we change our name to BooksActually, and me without any third thots, said yes. so now, we have decided to re-name our books webstore and in future the bookstore as BooksActually. and i had already checked with the internet domain register & RCB on the availability of the name, and everything is A-okae. in fact, miE has already registered the domain name already while now, all i have to do is to go down to RCB and register it as our business name. alright, this update will just about do for now. take care, me fellow pirates. and yesh, pirate shuyun thanks for the support.
tori amos sings live "cooling"
i was knocked by a bus, then by a taxi, and then by a tricycle....darKness

ok people. have to change our name AGAIN because when we wanted to register our webstore as www.thebooksellers.com on the internet, it seems that someone else out there had taken that name! frustrating right??!! anyway, darkness and i were at suntec just now when i think that we should call our webstore BooksActually. i dont think i have to tell you where i got that from...u guys are smart enough to figure that out. so if the rest agreed on the name, i will have to change the url of this blog AGAIN! sorry guys...bear with us.

ok gotta change our name on the blog now and will take a super short rest before im out again to meet my friends.

btw, yesterday's gathering at karen lim's went well although there were abit of 'glitches' here and there...had a fair bit of sleep for the first time there!

marlena

i think the coolest song now is hey ya from outkast.....
a good song with a good video...
their other single has features from earth wind fire....

i also like the wat they call ' old school' sound to alicia keyes new single .....and the piano tune...
not bad not bad...

punisher
watching are you HOT?....i thot i am...

feels like im in some kind of a reading marathon. halfway through milan kundera's unbearable lightness of being. it's such an interesting read and i'm determined to finish it by tonight. next will either be brick lane by monica ali or the namesake by jhumpa lahiri (courtesy of kenny - thanks!!). or maybe roy arundhati's god of small things! i suddenly have this interest in reading as much asian literature as possible...especially those of indian characters or settings! hahahaha.

marlena...listening to outkast's hey ya!

p.s kenny! i still want to find out the title of the book that we saw at kino! if my memory serves me right, it's about this indian doctor in boston or chicago or new york or something!! aarrgghhh...this frustrates me! it will bug me like forever lor.

alrighty kids, this will be the most serious update that i have done so far for the The Booksellers. yesh, its almost official & confirmed *plus chop & guarantee* that the The Booksellers webstore will be fully operational on the 1st January 2004. we had a very good meeting with miE yesterday, and everything more or less is finalised as in details of the appearance of the webstore and also all the minor trinket details. but with all these settled, suddenly, marlena & i have been totally seriously inundated with even more work. marlena will be in-charge of running both the financial & IT function, and now, she has to absorbed all the IT knowledge from miE. so now, both of us will be having regular tutorials at miE's place to learn all the nasty html & bleah bleah computer jargon. and for everyone out there, please show your support for marlena as she'll be undertaking a very heavy responsibility from now on. she will be known as the "techie" one. as usual, i'll be fulfilling the role of inventory management, the buying function, marketing portfolio, and the overall running of daily ops. all right, this will be it for now. so my dear friends, please remember this date, 1st Janaury 2004, we will be launching the The Booksellers webstore. keeping 10,000 fingers crossed, we might even have the real bookstore up by next year august, if God willing. oh yah, and did i mention that im on the lookout for free labour too....i have already got one that is even willing to iron my underwear or boxers. so any interested parties, you'd know where to stun me, and remember, the prerequisite is "Free Labour". next time, can put on your resume, very nice.
eason chan croons "the karaoke king"
and i love her madly, deeply, and truly....darKness

oh my gawd! i've just realised something! a close friend of mine sent me a song over the msn messenger a few months ago. i thought it was kinda weird because he does not listen to this kind of music at all. so i was surprised when he sent the song over but i didn't ask why back then. i never really knew the actual lyrics to that song. anyway, today, i was surfing the net, looking for the lyrics after dunno-how-many-donkey-months and i was surprised that it contains these lines..

"....that I know you are almost in love with me, I can see it in your eyes. Strange light shimmering over the sea tonight. And it almost blows my mind. And as I look to the stars....And I still dream of you, I still love you...."

but then again, it's just a song. it's just a coincidence. anyway, now i have to settle some financial problem with my mum...sigh..headache..big headache. so catch up with you guys later.
kev - thanks, hubby!
ken - thanks, brudder!

today is going to be a very very busy happy day. im waiting for stace to come over and meet at ntuc fairprice at toa payoh so that we can buy groceries but she's 45 minutes late. lucky i call her before i stepped out of the house. and why is she coming over???? well, yesterday was daphne's last day at work and we had wanted to have a farewell lunch for her in town, but then all agreed that each of us (stace, marlena, daphne & i) are pretty broke. actually, im not working but im richer than them....haiz. so i decided that we shall save money by cooking, and i will be doing the cooking. yesh, you did not read wrongly, I"LL BE COOKING. my mom has taught me well. the menu would be
1 - seafood pasta
2 - fried buffalo-style chicken wings (actually my style)
3 - corn cobs coated thickly with butter
and if we have enough time to prepare, i might make grape-flavoured jelly. yesh, im hungry too. it'll be all for now, after the cooking & lunching, marlena & i will be heading down to miE's place for the The Booksellers thingy. will update more on the latter's progress tonight.
darKness

btw, on a lighter note, although work is like hell right now, faizal, melissa, lester and matt had smsed on four different sms-es to ask me to hang out with them. so right now, i have another of karen lim's gathering next tuesday, movie with lester and melissa on wednesday, matt's birthday bash on thursday. another possible clubbing on friday and faizal had booked me for an outing on the 3rd of january! hahahaha...unbelievable..
anyway, i need all these activities..to keep my mind off things....unnecessary things. hope more invitations/activities/chilling out appointments will come rolling in this whole month..

liz phair singing "why cant i breathe whenever i think about you"
marlena

oh man..my eyes are sooo tired! even cute little Li Yan was commenting on how red they were just now at work. Kept staring at the pc monitor at work for hours to finish all the book enquiries. I'm still doing them even till the very last minute when Asra announced that '..the time now is 12 midnight..Borders is now closed..'. sigh...mentally tired now. i think my brain is fried. although i have a part-time assistant specially for the hols, it's not exactly good cuz she doesn't know how to do the faxes and emails. wanted to teach her but haven't got the chance to do that. so in the end, i have to finish 4 different sets of long list of book & cd (classical cds!) enquiries all by myself in 2 days! i even came in two hours earlier today to work on the long lists and to teach farrah on how to clear the expired customer holds. speaking of expired customer holds, the normal routine is to put the books that has been pulled out in the recovery bin. i felt bad everytime i did that cuz i know how the booksellers feel when they have to recover the books. wanted to recover the books myself but the customer service staffs are not supposed to do that and to leave that to the booksellers. anyway, evan sent out an email this evening saying that he received a feedback about the expired customer holds' books in the recovery bin. he sent the email out to all managers (even sallie). i was abit pissed cuz i know the person who had complained to evan.
linkin park screaming a line from faint "...dont turn your back on me..i wont be ignored!"
marlena

in the end, i didn't get to see the doctor because was instead called out to join erny, stace & daphne in town instead for coffee. and the cut is doing okae today, dont think im having fever at all, while the wound is closing up pretty fast. all these, ive to attribute to the miraculous healing powers of mine....haha. its her last day at work today, and *yay yay* happy for her becos one she need not work at that dump anymore, two, she can sleep more. oh yah, tomorrow marlena & i will be trotting on down to miE's place, to learn how to operate the inventory software, and also to sort out the overall appearance & function of the The Booksellers webstore. and i guess after tomorrow, i'll be able to update the inventory from my own terminal at home, having been allowed access to miE's servers. that is naturally good news since it means that i can maintain the inventory in real time.
tori amos sings "amber waves"
alecto, tisiphone, megaera....darKness

waiting for one of my friends to pick me up very soon. made last minute plans to go out again! i've decided to just go with the flow and enjoy the rest of my hols...as long as i don't have to spend alot of $$$ in the process. either we are going clubbing or just chilling out at chijmes or somewhere..and what could be more tempting than to have your friends paying for any expense involved.....muahahahaha....
and you! yesh you....you've got to stop doing that thing you do..

listening to 'going under' by evanescence
marlena

just got back and going down to see the doctor, becos i think the bloody cut is infected. there's like this constant burning sensation around the cut, and im still running a fever. its seemed okae yesterday but must have been the bleeding again while i was sleeping last night. i woke up this morning and my sheets had a patch of dried blood, and my blanket too. now, i'll resort not to sleep on the arm, and just sleep face up. duh, irritiating. damn, now i have to waste money to see doctor. i tell you, i have half the mind to just continue the fever-meds, and douse the bloody thing in dettol lotion. now, that might work, wouldn't it. will write more later, better go see doctor or else later marlena will kill me. not my fault, okae....really, not my fault.
50 cents quicktalks "in da club"
tonight, i'll journey to the end of the night....darKness

when you watch the light / and when it breaks / into those million pieces that / only you will understand / then all you have to do / is to live life bravely / for in our suffered sadness / sometimes / we will spin ourselves into this / bleak hardshelled cocoon / when maybe at an age we had forgotten / we had learned how to protect ourselves / by withdrawing into our own private porcelain shell / we built it upon ourselves / to be brave / to be strong / and hoping that weakness / is not a reality / but in passing / like the passing of an April shower / troubles are just that / and in weakness we might / learn to be strong / for it is within ourselves / that we will learn to walk out / into the light that knows us / so well / i might need a little help from my friends / and still / we will all rise to the occassion / and we might gladly say that nothing will possess us / except only this / love /
darKness

i dont why but i just woke up from a short nap with a fever, and its almost raging. immediately took fever-meds but overall, im think im doing okae. not sure whether is it the flu but then the flu is like abating already, since i only have the occassional sniffles when its gets too cold for the last couple of days. i guess i do have a rough idea where is the fever coming from but cant say much here. i'll be meeting someone pretty important tomorrow, and out of it, there'll only be 3 outcomes. one, is that meeting-up will maintain that ongoing semi-biz connection that i have with him. two, i might end up working for him at his store. three, i might be able to wheedle out the biz-$$$$ loan from him. the 3 outcomes might take place separately, or at the very worst, only the first-mentioned outcome will be realised. and i definitely can live with that. but if im due to be blessed *though i highly doubt it* all 3 outcomes will come true. *woot woot*
eric clapton sings live "bell bottom blues"
i'd sooner suffer now than choosing the easy out....darKness

::::daffodils::::birthday letters::::ted hughes for sylvia plath::::
remember how we picked the daffodils? nobody else remembers, but i remember. your daughter came with her armfuls, eager and happy, helping the harvest. she has forgotten. she cannot even remember you. and we sold them. it sounds like sacrilege, but we sold them. were we so poor? old stoneman, the grocer, boss-eyed, his blood-pressure purpling to beetroot (it was his last chance, he would die in the same great freeze as you), he persuaded us. every spring he always bought them, sevenpence a dozen, "a custom of the house." besides, we still weren't sure we wanted to own anything. mainly we were hungry to convert everything to profit. still nomads - still strangers to our whole possession. the daffodils were incidental gliding of the deeds, treasure trove. they simply came, and they kept on coming. as if not from the sod but falling from heaven. our lives were still a raid on our own good luck. we knew we'd live for ever. we have not learned what a fleeting glance of the everlasting daffodils are. never identified the nuptial flight of the rarest ephemera - our own days! we thought they were a windfall. never guessed they were a last blessing. so we sold them. we worked at selling them as if employed on somebody else's flower-farm. you bent at it in the rain of that april - your last april. we bent there together, among the soft shrieks of their jostled stems, the wet shocks shaken of their girlish dance-frocks - fresh-opened dragonflies, wet and flimsy, opened too early. we piled their frailty lights on a carpenter's bench, distributed their leaves among the dozens - buckling blade-leaves, limber, groping for air, zinc-silvered - propped their raw butts in bucket water, their oval, meaty butts, and sold them, sevenpence a bunch - wind-wounds, spasms from the dark earth, with their odourless metals, a flamy purification of the deep grave's stony cold as if ice had a breath - we sold them, to wither. the crop thickened faster than we could thin it. finally, we were overwhelmed and we lost our wedding-present scissors. every march since they have lifted again out of the same bulbs, the same baby-cries from the thaw, ballerinas too early for music, shiverers in the draughty wings of the year. on that same groundswell of memory, fluttering they return to forget you stooping there behind the rainy curtains of a dark april, snipping their stems. but somewhere your scissors remember. wherever they are. here somewhere, blades wide open, April by April sinking deeper through the sod - an anchor, a cross of rust.

to eventually grasp & realise the meaning of this prose/poem by ted hughes written for sylvia, you'd have to read it for a couple more times. spare yourself that deniable luxury of reading this, and maybe we might all grow up learning something.
darKness

on the messenger with shahrul right now. just introduced him to blogger and he's setting up an account now. he is still pondering on what he should write for his first post. anyway, he send me this...
It is easy enough to be pleasant,
When life flows by like a song
But the man worthwhile is the one who can smile,
when everything goes dead wrong
For the test of the heart is troubled,
And it always comes with the years
And the smiles that is worth the praises of earth
is the smile that shines through tears

marlena

i had just gotten a book, and in fact, a book that i have been hunting for a long time, it is Ted Hughes's "Birthday Letters". and i thot i'd like to take abit of time & space to talk about this book. i haven't really read the entire book, btw, its a book of poetry, but having read a few pieces already, you cant help being affected by its fatalism, the slight darkness, and maybe even regrets. for those who dont know, Ted Hughes was a famous poet in England, and he had a very famous wife too, Sylvia Plath. Both of them were married young but their marriage lasted only 7years. Plath was constantly haunted by her childhood demons & maybe even her own writings, while Hughes was just there, taking everything in. In the end, Hughes cheated on Plath, leaving for another woman while they were residing in America. Subsequently, Plath packed up and left, in depressed sadness & her demons were still harassing her, together with their 2 young children - a boy & a girl -, she went back to Devon, England. In some sense, you could say that Plath was trying to pick up the pieces of her life again, and at the same time, she was writing feverishly, and actually producing one of her best works, "Ariel" during this very very dark bleak tortuous time of her life. On February 11th, 1963, she put the two children to bed, left 2 plates & glasses of bread & milk for them, and she went into the kitchen. In as many words, she stuffed her head into the kitchen gas oven, switched it on, and gassed herself to death. Sylvia Plath was 30 years-old when she died, and the entire literary world has since blamed, and even cursed Ted Hughes for her death. For if she hadn't died, and had fought with her demons & depression, she might have been the brightest & greatest woman poet we would have possessed to date. She had written in her journals when she was 26, that she wanted to write the greatest work of all before she pass away from this world, and "Ariel" published after her death, is and always will be her greatest writing. and now, in Ted Hughes's "Birthday Letters", we'd find 88 poems detailing almost every single detail of his relationship with his friend & wife, Sylvia Plath. and to large extent, most of it are bleak, tortuous and unforgiving. you could say that during these 25years of writing & compiling these 88 poems, Ted Hughes was maybe inking his grief & regrets & maybe even the refusal to take responsibilty for her death. you must understand, right after her passing, everyone in England & America, whether you were rich or poor, educated or uncouth, everybody, everyone, that had any inkling of their relationship & and its terrible outcome, all had blamed Ted Hughes for her death. and how one wished nobody in this world & living should have to ever shoulder such a blame so terrible. and Ted Hughes, maybe out of regrets, he had never uttered a single word in response. he had never given his side of the story, no matter how harsh & cruel, the words were hurled at him. he had remained silent until now, with "Birthday Letters". in his journals, he had wrote this in 1973, ten years after Sylvia's passing: "Ten years after your death, I meet in a page of your journal as never before the shock of your joy, then the shock of your prayers, and under those prayers your panic that prayers might not create a miracle, then under the panic, the nightmare that came rolling to crush you. Suddenly, I read all of this, your actual words as they floated out through your throat and tongue and onto your page, just as when your daughter, years ago now, drifting in, gazing up into my face, mystified where I worked alone in the silent house asked suddenly, 'Daddy, where's mummy?' The freezing soil of the garden as I clawed it all around me--that midnight's giant clock of frost and somewhere inside it, wanting to feel nothing, a pulse of fever- somewhere inside the numbness of the earth our future trying to happen. I look up, as if to meet your voice with all its urgent future that has burst in on me, then look back at the book, the printed words, you are 10 years dead. It is only a story, your story, my story."
kenny

was reading all those past posts over the last 6 months. whoa. time flies real fast. it's nice to read those posts...from where we first started out on the blog..to darkness's tangled love affair..to farokh's trip to europe..to farokh's long-distance sms from europe about those fields of sunflowers just to make me jealous..to zakk's poetry post..to the development of the webstore..to kev's ever-changing of nicknames..to my ever-cramped schedule..to our non-stopping whinings..to our clubbing and drinking sessions..to darkness's so-called "luckless lovelife" (and mine)...and to me finally enjoying my freedom right now! yay! and now the year 2003 is drawing to an end. too bad we changed the host for our comments function. otherwise, you guys could still see the comments all the way back to where we started. anyway, it's been one hell of a rollercoaster ride and thanks for our small but loyal audience who frequent our blog for the past 6 months. can't believe you guys are still here with us...thanks.

song: every you every me....placebo
marlena