Friday, January 30, 2004
for those whom had listened to dashboard confessionals's "hands down", im sure this will be terribly familiar....and i had taken the liberty of reproducing it partially only, becos i think the words of the last part, says it all.
/ hands down this is the best day i can ever remember / i'll always remember the sound of the stereo / the dim of the soft lights / the scent of your hair / that you twirled in your fingers / and the time on the clock / when we realized it's so late / and the walk that we shared together / the street was wet and the gate was locked / so i jumped it and let you in / and you stood at the door / with your hands on my waist and you kissed me / like you meant it / and i knew that you meant it / that you meant it / that you meant it / and i knew / that you meant it / that you meant it /
dashboard confessionals sings acoustic "hands down"
stay quiet, stay near, stay close....darKness-ak
/ hands down this is the best day i can ever remember / i'll always remember the sound of the stereo / the dim of the soft lights / the scent of your hair / that you twirled in your fingers / and the time on the clock / when we realized it's so late / and the walk that we shared together / the street was wet and the gate was locked / so i jumped it and let you in / and you stood at the door / with your hands on my waist and you kissed me / like you meant it / and i knew that you meant it / that you meant it / that you meant it / and i knew / that you meant it / that you meant it /
dashboard confessionals sings acoustic "hands down"
stay quiet, stay near, stay close....darKness-ak
Wednesday, January 28, 2004
i shouldn't think so much. my life isn't as bad as i thought it is. i mean, of course there were those bad moments when you thought that your life just sucks. but if you think of all the wonderful moments that you had, you will realise that your life isn't that bad after all. i'm surrounded with great friends, colleagues and classmates. my friends are there when i need them and things at work and school are good too.
i'm not a conversationalist and it could be hard for me to strike up a conversation with people that i'm not close with. so i was surprised when a few of my colleagues (whom i'm not really close to) came up and did things which really touched my heart lately. it's very heartwarming.
i know that i could be stubborn and i'm sure that my actions did anger some of my friends at times but that's just me. i'm sure all of us behave that way sometimes. we are humans after all. we have feelings.
since i'm at it, i apologise if i have made any of you angry in any way. and to darkness whom i have the most disagreements than any other close friend that i've known, i know that we have different perspectives on things and that we have those little tiffs at times. but i just want to say no hard feelings ar. and it's great to argue sometimes. it makes you see the other point of view. sometimes i wonder how the hell did we ever get along. we are sooo different if you come to think of it.
i don't know what makes me say all this. must be the weather. it's been raining like nobody's business. or maybe i've been listening to too many emo songs. hahahaha.
marlena
i'm not a conversationalist and it could be hard for me to strike up a conversation with people that i'm not close with. so i was surprised when a few of my colleagues (whom i'm not really close to) came up and did things which really touched my heart lately. it's very heartwarming.
i know that i could be stubborn and i'm sure that my actions did anger some of my friends at times but that's just me. i'm sure all of us behave that way sometimes. we are humans after all. we have feelings.
since i'm at it, i apologise if i have made any of you angry in any way. and to darkness whom i have the most disagreements than any other close friend that i've known, i know that we have different perspectives on things and that we have those little tiffs at times. but i just want to say no hard feelings ar. and it's great to argue sometimes. it makes you see the other point of view. sometimes i wonder how the hell did we ever get along. we are sooo different if you come to think of it.
i don't know what makes me say all this. must be the weather. it's been raining like nobody's business. or maybe i've been listening to too many emo songs. hahahaha.
marlena
had gotten back from lunch with zakk earlier in the afternoon and couldn't resist taking a short nap becos of the superb weather. napped for like an hour and later im going out again to meet up with natalie, to catch up abit. have been trying to meet up with her but each time, i had to last-minute cancel becos of various commitments. i was feeling quite troubled too regarding my current financial situation. had blew my entire hongbao on dinner #2 so was quite worried on how i'd be able to survive till i fly off on march12th. but then, as i travelled to isaac's space, my fellow christian brother in arms, he had posted something which quite literally awashed me in comfort & assuarance & shudders of God's love. he had written this and it also reminds me to be more consistent with my prayers & my daily quiet time & my bible readings."Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness." Isaiah 41:10
eagles sings live "desperado"
there, but for the grace of God, go i....darKness-ak
eagles sings live "desperado"
there, but for the grace of God, go i....darKness-ak
a biggie thanks to miE for helping us to post up pixs of dinner #2. but as a disclaimer, he was the one that came up with those scandalous underground captions, not me. ive no prior knowledge and control, serious, you all must believe me....
dashboard confessionals sings acoustic "hands down"
standing beside you, i forget to breathe....darKness-ak
dashboard confessionals sings acoustic "hands down"
standing beside you, i forget to breathe....darKness-ak
Tuesday, January 27, 2004
have not been downloading songs for a while and i begin to experience some withdrawal symptoms. had dinner with stace and headed straight home just to download some songs.
i thought i'll be downloading only a few but boy was i wrong. feel as though im in some kind of a downloading music marathon.
its been more than two hours now and im still at it. so i guess you guys could imagine the number of music files that i have downloaded from there. and no. im not using 56k if you are wondering. its broadband darling. dont know why. just couldnt stop! gawd, gotta stop soon! this is madness!
marlena
i thought i'll be downloading only a few but boy was i wrong. feel as though im in some kind of a downloading music marathon.
its been more than two hours now and im still at it. so i guess you guys could imagine the number of music files that i have downloaded from there. and no. im not using 56k if you are wondering. its broadband darling. dont know why. just couldnt stop! gawd, gotta stop soon! this is madness!
marlena
i tried this biblical quiz from ditz's blog and its damn cool. it does explain to a certain extent of my relationship with God. and without saying it, God already knows what i want to say to Him.
You are Psalms.
Which book of the Bible are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
darKness-ak
You are Psalms.
Which book of the Bible are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
darKness-ak
the dinner #2 went brilliantly well last night. but of course, it was only made possible & wonderful becos of everyone that had turned up. for those that had helped me out with the cooking, you're all great cooks in your own right. i'd like to thank my little brother zakk first & foremost for helping me out throughout the entire day ceaselessly. whatever i needed or whatever things that needed to be done, zakk was there. i thank michelle too for the assistance on the watermelon balls, croutons, mashed potatoes, and almost everything & jo for helping us to wash up. my bro, miE was also the best. he provided all the underground laughs and was a key player in the kitchen too. i'd also want to give my eternal thanks to peizhen for helping me with the cooking and also the washing up. dont think i'd have managed to take a breather if peizhen wasn't there. i also thank everyone that had turned up for the dinner but i vowed never to cook for 18 people again, its just too crazy. the next time, i'll cap it at 12 people only. it was sad that a few didn't make it but thats life. it was very good & personally heartwarming to see all my close friends all together at one place, and enjoying a good dinner. it was good to see edmund, asra & keng pei, especially keng pei since i had not seen her for quite awhile already. and not forgetting another brother of mine, punisher. well, im sure he had a great time eating, socializing, and giving out his namecards to everyone to solicit more buisness. next time, he'll roll up his sleeves and do the washing instead. all in all, again, i thanked everyone that had given me their time & trusted their stomachs to me, and to zakk's parents for the use of their home & kitchen. for all these wonderful people, THANKS.
3 doors down sings live "here without you"
i have nothing to give you except fear....darKness-ak
3 doors down sings live "here without you"
i have nothing to give you except fear....darKness-ak
Monday, January 26, 2004
oh hell! i had screwed up something. darkness, if you are reading this, i'll give you a ring in the later part of the day.
you probably gonna kill me..
marlena
you probably gonna kill me..
marlena
Sunday, January 25, 2004
a crazy someone called my home at 5.36am today! i didn't pick up the call. couldn't be bothered. must be mum's friend.
checked my mobile for sms-es and had two from him. msged him back and for goodness sake, he's still awake! what's wrong with these people?!
so we talked for nearly 2 hours. told him to go to bed but he still wanted to talk more. we talked for a bit more before we said our goodnights.
i realised that my mum is my alarm clock on weekends. she will either be nagging at me or erna or both early in the morning. cannot stand it. sigh. mothers, can't live with or without them.
i'm going to bukit panjang plaza with erna later. gonna get probably 3 sets of riceball from mr bean. we are hooked on it!!
and i'm meeting darkness at 8pm to do some groceries. the timing is just nice cuz i'm able to watch everwood at 6! hehehe.
song: i'll stand by you - the pretenders
marlena
checked my mobile for sms-es and had two from him. msged him back and for goodness sake, he's still awake! what's wrong with these people?!
so we talked for nearly 2 hours. told him to go to bed but he still wanted to talk more. we talked for a bit more before we said our goodnights.
i realised that my mum is my alarm clock on weekends. she will either be nagging at me or erna or both early in the morning. cannot stand it. sigh. mothers, can't live with or without them.
i'm going to bukit panjang plaza with erna later. gonna get probably 3 sets of riceball from mr bean. we are hooked on it!!
and i'm meeting darkness at 8pm to do some groceries. the timing is just nice cuz i'm able to watch everwood at 6! hehehe.
song: i'll stand by you - the pretenders
marlena
Saturday, January 24, 2004
"don't drag my erny into it!"
hehehe. i like it when he turns protective. hahaha.
gonna watch simpsons now.
marlena
hehehe. i like it when he turns protective. hahaha.
gonna watch simpsons now.
marlena
nice panda joke from marlena over there but im not sure about reaction from the panda themselves. in lieu of such entertainment, CNY has been entirely rifed with not relative-visiting but rather, witnessing the colour of money. the gambling has been quite ridiculous in terms of turnout & turnover. it was tempting but im still holding out, and have not gambled any single bit yet, and i dont intend to either. on this coming Monday-26th, we'll be holding the dinner at zakk's place, and will be praying for a reasonable cooking results for myself, especially this is my 1st-time cooking for so many people. the menu hasn't really changed at all though i might change the dessert item. on the day itself, we'd also decide whether to announce something pretty important.
leslie cheung sings "zui"
collect my thoughts & make them into memories of you....darKness-ak
leslie cheung sings "zui"
collect my thoughts & make them into memories of you....darKness-ak
a panda walks into a cafe. he orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and fires two shots in the air.
"why?" asks the confused waiter, as the panda makes towards the exit. the panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder.
"i'm a panda, " he says, at the door. "look it up."
the waiter turns to the relevant entry and sure enough, finds an explanation.
"panda. large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to china. eats, shoots and leaves."
- Eats, Shoots & Leaves by Lynne Truss.
marlena
"why?" asks the confused waiter, as the panda makes towards the exit. the panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder.
"i'm a panda, " he says, at the door. "look it up."
the waiter turns to the relevant entry and sure enough, finds an explanation.
"panda. large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to china. eats, shoots and leaves."
- Eats, Shoots & Leaves by Lynne Truss.
marlena
Friday, January 23, 2004
...no strings attached but yet, he couldnt help feeling slightly jealous whenever he sees chloe with shane. he tried to brush his feelings aside. anyway, isn't shane seeing someone else? ahh..yes. shane's with lana. he feels better now. maybe shane and chloe are just good pals and nothing more. yeah...that could be the reason. it must be. but then again...
"why am i feeling this way?"
"are chloe and shane really just friends?"
"why are they so close? too close i must say."
"why do i even bother about this in the first place?"
"aaarrrgghhhhh...."
"but chloe knows that i really like her."
"i wish i knew whats going on in that head of hers.."
"but then again, she has the right to be with whoever she chooses to be. im in no position to say anything.."
...............................................................................................................................
"you never know. you two have alot in common. you might end up liking each other." commented lana with a tinge of jealousy.
"yes. we do have alot of things in common. but thats where it ends. nothing more. we are more like brother and sister." replied shane.
"you never know..." lana said again.
...............................................................................................................................
"i cant believe that lana would even think like that. i mean come on!!" cried chloe in disbelief.
"dysfunctional. i dont know what to say." said shane.
...............................................................................................................................
music: hands down - dashboard confessional
marlena
"why am i feeling this way?"
"are chloe and shane really just friends?"
"why are they so close? too close i must say."
"why do i even bother about this in the first place?"
"aaarrrgghhhhh...."
"but chloe knows that i really like her."
"i wish i knew whats going on in that head of hers.."
"but then again, she has the right to be with whoever she chooses to be. im in no position to say anything.."
...............................................................................................................................
"you never know. you two have alot in common. you might end up liking each other." commented lana with a tinge of jealousy.
"yes. we do have alot of things in common. but thats where it ends. nothing more. we are more like brother and sister." replied shane.
"you never know..." lana said again.
...............................................................................................................................
"i cant believe that lana would even think like that. i mean come on!!" cried chloe in disbelief.
"dysfunctional. i dont know what to say." said shane.
...............................................................................................................................
music: hands down - dashboard confessional
marlena
work was a madhouse for yesterday and today. i can't help but wonder why these people especially the chinese would want to come to a bookstore on the lunar new year. i mean i rather be anywhere but there. i'm not saying this just because i work there. it's just that almost all of the shops in orchard road are closed and i wouldnt want to be there in the first place. i would rather stay home and slack infront of the tv or something.
anyway, there were two suspected shoplifters in the store today. dont know whether the management managed to get them though. didnt stay to find out more cuz firstly, i couldnt be bothered and secondly, im knocking off work when it happened.
had dinner with zakk, michelle and leticia and ismail at RV. then, a group of dbl o bouncers came to have their dinner or something. leticia thought i was joking when i told her that those guys are from dbl o. i wondered which one of them had helped me that night..hahaha. by the way, i did not 'died' last night. i am so proud of myself. i dont want to be of a hassle to anyone anymore and i had promised him that i would control my intake. well, this is just the beginning.....
marlena
anyway, there were two suspected shoplifters in the store today. dont know whether the management managed to get them though. didnt stay to find out more cuz firstly, i couldnt be bothered and secondly, im knocking off work when it happened.
had dinner with zakk, michelle and leticia and ismail at RV. then, a group of dbl o bouncers came to have their dinner or something. leticia thought i was joking when i told her that those guys are from dbl o. i wondered which one of them had helped me that night..hahaha. by the way, i did not 'died' last night. i am so proud of myself. i dont want to be of a hassle to anyone anymore and i had promised him that i would control my intake. well, this is just the beginning.....
marlena
people take me for granted. even my friends. i mean i know i do that too but this time, it really gets to me. it drives me up the wall. i want to tell them but i do not know how to say it without hurting them.
sometimes, i wonder whether it makes any difference if i just disappear from their lives. i don't think they even notice. even if they did, they probably mourn over it for a while and before you know it, things will be normal again for them. i don't know. i'm just assuming here.
but then again, i should have more faith in my friends. i'm sure they love me.
once again, this is just my ramblings. i will just sleep on it. ya that's a good idea. sleep on it and soon, it will be at the back of my mind.
music: night walk - belle & sebastian
marlena
sometimes, i wonder whether it makes any difference if i just disappear from their lives. i don't think they even notice. even if they did, they probably mourn over it for a while and before you know it, things will be normal again for them. i don't know. i'm just assuming here.
but then again, i should have more faith in my friends. i'm sure they love me.
once again, this is just my ramblings. i will just sleep on it. ya that's a good idea. sleep on it and soon, it will be at the back of my mind.
music: night walk - belle & sebastian
marlena
Thursday, January 22, 2004
going with the flow, i'll also wish everyone Gong Xi Fa Cai, everything also Soon Soon Li Li, and Cai Yuan Gwang Jing, Yi Fan Feng Shun, Heng Qi Pi Ren, and the classic Teochew CNY greetings for all your elders out there is Seng Jia Joo Yi. okae, you've to understand Teochew to understand the last phrase. i dont think im going to do relative visiting at all, since ive not been doing it for the last few years already. anyway, got some things to look over for the next 4days, so "free time" seems more like a bygone notion. this wierd idea came to me last night while i was watching TV - watching Guns & Talks for the 3rd time, and its still damn hilarious - i thot why not make some "resolves" for the new year. usually you'd call them resolutions and you make them on the last day of the year. but since i dont make resolutions, i shall call them resolves....so cool rite. okae, this year i resolve:
1. to be a full-blown workaholic
2. to cook at least one dinner for my friends every month
3. to read more
4. to bring ruin & destruction to the people that i dont like
5. to eat more vegetables
6. to sieze power when the moment beckons
7. to yield up everything into His Hands
sarah mclachlan sings "fear" {hybrid's super collider remix}
i have nothing to give to you except fear....darKness
1. to be a full-blown workaholic
2. to cook at least one dinner for my friends every month
3. to read more
4. to bring ruin & destruction to the people that i dont like
5. to eat more vegetables
6. to sieze power when the moment beckons
7. to yield up everything into His Hands
sarah mclachlan sings "fear" {hybrid's super collider remix}
i have nothing to give to you except fear....darKness
Wednesday, January 21, 2004
GONG XI FA CAI
Everybody have big money big money this year...
just watched beyounce's me myself and i...eowwww...
punisher
Everybody have big money big money this year...
just watched beyounce's me myself and i...eowwww...
punisher
You guys probably have heard this again and again and again but I would like to wish a happy lunar new year to all my zany friends out there. Don't stop eating and enjoy the fat red packets!
Supposed to go out with friends but everything was cancelled at the last minute. Now, I don't know what to do except to continue rambling, listen to perfect 10 online and download music. Feel kinda lonely out of the sudden. Funny.
marlena
Supposed to go out with friends but everything was cancelled at the last minute. Now, I don't know what to do except to continue rambling, listen to perfect 10 online and download music. Feel kinda lonely out of the sudden. Funny.
marlena
for whatever freakin' weird reason, i feel so damn awake, so energetic now after having supper with zakk, karen-L, michelle, and jo. it was great having supper with them again @ river valley, kinda of miss those late nights we had, after finishing the night-shift at the dump. tomorrow, or should i say today, is already CNY eve, Reunion Dinner day. this year, i'll be eating with my dad, and mom is having r-dinner with her brothers & sisters, which means i wouldn't have to run to 2 places just to have r-dinner with dad & mom, unlike last year. likewise, a very Happy CNY to all my 3-ex-biz-partners, and also to all my friends, including those that had left their CNY greetings on the tagboard, christine & ditz. this new coming year, will definitely be an immensely trying one for me, and im sure God will want it to be that way too. but then, im sure that He will provide enough grace & mercy to carry me through all the way too. at this time, i'll be reminded of the hymn, "Trust & Obey" which i used to sing very often at Sunday School. there're so many things left yet undone & unsaid, so many things to take care of, so many things to be involved in, and all i need to do, is to trust & obey, for there is no other way. for it is in my weakness that His strength is made real.
eagles sings live "desperado"
if nobody speaks of remarkable things anymore, then i will....darKness
eagles sings live "desperado"
if nobody speaks of remarkable things anymore, then i will....darKness
Tuesday, January 20, 2004
I don't have much profound to say today. I should be in bed but I'm not. Yeah really I have nothing good to say. I'm going to get some sleep, you should too.
song: drop by red house painters
marlena
song: drop by red house painters
marlena
Sunday, January 18, 2004
I haven't much to say lately. It is getting harder for me to come up with things to talk about. My life just isn't exciting enough for me to justify putting it out into the world in such a way. I've found out that more people than originally thought read this. That is cool I guess. Whatever really. I've just one thing to say today though. I love music. Music is great, and it boggles my mind now when I am told by people that they are not a music fan. Music is great if for only the one reason that there has been a song written about every single event that could possibly happen to a person in the course of their life. A breakup, a triumph, a tragedy, motions of joy, pain, sorrow, agony, happiness, humor. All of these categories have tens of hundreds of songs covering them. That is just amazing if you think about it. If you ever need to relate to something, you do not need to find another person, or a book. Just throw on a Bob Dylan record and you will probably find what it is you are looking for, no matter what the situation. It is getting to the point nowadays that people are really realizing this fact I think. I mean, there is now a genre of music called "emo," short for emotional. I think it would be hard for someone to not like emo. They can fight against the urge all they want. But everyone has gone through that one bad phase in life, and they can relate to the music that Dashboard Confessional is singing. One problem I have with emo is the idea that it has to be all sad. Why can't I consider Bobby McFerrin's Don't Worry, Be Happy and emo song? Happiness is clearly an emotion. Anyway, next time you are in a situation that you want to find a way out of, or just want to find something to relate with, just turn to music. It will help, believe me. Til Next Time...
song: hands down (dashboard confessional)
marlena
song: hands down (dashboard confessional)
marlena
Excellent. woke up at 6pm today. feel damn good. watched planet of the apes. not a bad show. kinda scary when you imagine our planet being ruled by primates.
anyways, going to paint my nails now....hahahahaha.
song: out of reach (gabrielle)
marlena
anyways, going to paint my nails now....hahahahaha.
song: out of reach (gabrielle)
marlena
my pc is on and working already..thanx to the power fan blowing at the pc...
the blog is quiet huh...must be without me for the past few days..i know i know..its me...
now i am here to add fun and joy to the season...
stacy's mom...
punisher
the blog is quiet huh...must be without me for the past few days..i know i know..its me...
now i am here to add fun and joy to the season...
stacy's mom...
punisher
Saturday, January 17, 2004
as the day quietens down to a close, i sit in my yellowlamp-lit room, infront of this dying-soon computer, and listening to joni mitchell's "both sides now", i reflect. it has been another terribly busy occupied day, managing only brief "helloes" when i brush past friends that i see on the streets. sometimes, i wonder why do i bother so much about everything? why should i care for so many everybodies, for so many closed ones, and in the end, i forget about myself. isn't self-preservation an in-built mechanism or should i say personal selfishness? why do i bother planning so much, trying to do this, trying to do that, saying the rights things, not asking the wrong questions, feigning ignorance, and just being dumb? like joni mitchell sings, "i really dont know love at all, i really dont know life at all." nonetheless, however screwed-up everything is, i still love all of my friends, whether is it the close ones or the distant ones. again, lets take 3-steps back and 1-step forward, and the sun will shine again tomorrow while the clouds make drifting shadows on the ground. i pray that all of us will have a peaceful sleep tonight.
Dear Father in Heaven, tonight as we lay our heads down to rest, may we always remember of the life that you've given us today, and thank you for the ceaseless love & mercy that you've showered upon us. forgive us of our trangressions & faithless thoughts. may we also remember our family & friends that your favour be shown upon them in every undertaking, and may all their obstacles be surmountable. and if when morning breaks and from sleep we do not awake, may we be held fast unto you. leave us not behind but into thy embrace that we look upon. for to you, we commmit ourselves. good night, God. amen.
joni mitchell sings "both sides now"
i see stars again tonight from my 17th-floor window....darKness
Dear Father in Heaven, tonight as we lay our heads down to rest, may we always remember of the life that you've given us today, and thank you for the ceaseless love & mercy that you've showered upon us. forgive us of our trangressions & faithless thoughts. may we also remember our family & friends that your favour be shown upon them in every undertaking, and may all their obstacles be surmountable. and if when morning breaks and from sleep we do not awake, may we be held fast unto you. leave us not behind but into thy embrace that we look upon. for to you, we commmit ourselves. good night, God. amen.
joni mitchell sings "both sides now"
i see stars again tonight from my 17th-floor window....darKness
I'm sorry for all the things I do
And I'm sorry for all the things I say
I'm getting older
yeah...i'm getting older
I love you so much it hurts each day
I love you but it's just hard to say
I'm getting older
Yeah...i'm getting older
I wake up in the morning got nothing to do
Can't sleep at night cos i'm thinking of you
It's over
No...it can't be over
I got a funny feeling inside my head
The pills I took made it all make sense
I'm gonna leave now
yeah...I should leave now
Stay in tonight
Don't do what you said
It's New Years Eve
And i'm laying in bed
I'm sorry
so
sorry.
marlena
`listening to muse's thoughts of a dying atheist`
And I'm sorry for all the things I say
I'm getting older
yeah...i'm getting older
I love you so much it hurts each day
I love you but it's just hard to say
I'm getting older
Yeah...i'm getting older
I wake up in the morning got nothing to do
Can't sleep at night cos i'm thinking of you
It's over
No...it can't be over
I got a funny feeling inside my head
The pills I took made it all make sense
I'm gonna leave now
yeah...I should leave now
Stay in tonight
Don't do what you said
It's New Years Eve
And i'm laying in bed
I'm sorry
so
sorry.
marlena
`listening to muse's thoughts of a dying atheist`
had been feeling very tired these past few days. i guess i have been going out too often. feel as if my limbs are going to fall off one by one!
Adeline is leaving for US at 5plus in the afternoon today. I'm really gonna miss her to bits! Although I don't know her that well, I really like her. She's weird...and funny. And caring too! I hope we don't lose contact cuz she's one friend whom I definitely want to keep. Anyway, she had my mobile number and address....so there.
song: cabezon (red house painters)
marlena
Adeline is leaving for US at 5plus in the afternoon today. I'm really gonna miss her to bits! Although I don't know her that well, I really like her. She's weird...and funny. And caring too! I hope we don't lose contact cuz she's one friend whom I definitely want to keep. Anyway, she had my mobile number and address....so there.
song: cabezon (red house painters)
marlena
Thursday, January 15, 2004
while the world around me fade into this fickle drizzling night, i'll hope for an eclectic morning and dream for a seamless sleep. there're countless of times when i stumble over words, those seemingly simple words, while trying to make myself to see the point. i brush away sense & logic instead harping on unreliable feelings. they told me that they suffer the dreams of a world gone mad while i struggle to get my place in the maddening crowd. if this was this side of paradise, im sure fitzgerald would have been proud of me, and zelda would have made me a nice cup of tea. and if i could prove that it will be a movable feast, then maybe hemingway might just cast me an approving wink. while i sat alone in darkness, i imagined i was holden caufield impersonating salinger and reading my catcher in the rye. while if orwell was my father, im sure that i'd have a miserable childhood, and will choose to make myself to be a suicide makeover in 1984. if i was any madder & evil, im sure styron would have dedicated sophie's choice to me. if plath was really victoria lucas, then ariel might have been the name of her third child. while i thot that dahl might have been an aparthied sympathiser, its just a coincidence that james & matilda are white. and when winterson said that oranges are not the only fruit, i believed. and im sure that burton's epitaph would have read the melancholy death of oyster boy and other stories. good night everyone, pardon me for my strange senseless ramblings.
sarah mclachlan sings "i love you"
and i have the sense to recognise that i dont know how to let you go....darKness
sarah mclachlan sings "i love you"
and i have the sense to recognise that i dont know how to let you go....darKness
Monday, January 12, 2004
what does he actually want?? what do i want?? what's wrong with us??
shouldn't actually agreed to meet him that night. i don't know about him but i felt awkward at first. i guess he could tell cuz i was seated quite a distance away from him..that is till he pulled me.
and i really hate to say this but it's a nice feeling. a very nice and warm feeling to be able to be close to him again.
sigh...
marlena
shouldn't actually agreed to meet him that night. i don't know about him but i felt awkward at first. i guess he could tell cuz i was seated quite a distance away from him..that is till he pulled me.
and i really hate to say this but it's a nice feeling. a very nice and warm feeling to be able to be close to him again.
sigh...
marlena
GUESS WHAT??!! I WAS LOCKED IN THE CUSTOMER SERVICE ROOM FOR 25 MINS!!
And all this was due to the stoopid lock on the door!!! I've informed them months ago that the lock is spoilt but the management still have not changed it! I couldn't get out no matter how hard i pulled the door. In the end, I paged for leticia to open it for me from the outside but she couldn't do it either! so she called for ivy who roped in haider, maya, fernando and razi and the damn door still wouldn't open!!!! sooooo irritating!! All of them jokingly told me not to cry and to hold on..hahahaha.
I tried prying the door lock with the screw driver, a metal ruler and scissors but it still didn't move an inch!! aaaarrrghhhhhhh! there was alot of banging and slamming but still no use! I was very close to the door and they slammed into the door without warning...thank gawd the door didn't open at that time cuz I would have suffered a broken nose or a chipped tooth or something!!
Anyway, razi came to the rescue and after slamming hard at the door for the umpteenth time, the door finally gave in and let poor me out!! phew!!! cursed door!! made me late for my gala premiere of the last samurai. decided not to watch it in the end.
marlena
And all this was due to the stoopid lock on the door!!! I've informed them months ago that the lock is spoilt but the management still have not changed it! I couldn't get out no matter how hard i pulled the door. In the end, I paged for leticia to open it for me from the outside but she couldn't do it either! so she called for ivy who roped in haider, maya, fernando and razi and the damn door still wouldn't open!!!! sooooo irritating!! All of them jokingly told me not to cry and to hold on..hahahaha.
I tried prying the door lock with the screw driver, a metal ruler and scissors but it still didn't move an inch!! aaaarrrghhhhhhh! there was alot of banging and slamming but still no use! I was very close to the door and they slammed into the door without warning...thank gawd the door didn't open at that time cuz I would have suffered a broken nose or a chipped tooth or something!!
Anyway, razi came to the rescue and after slamming hard at the door for the umpteenth time, the door finally gave in and let poor me out!! phew!!! cursed door!! made me late for my gala premiere of the last samurai. decided not to watch it in the end.
marlena
went to johor bahru yesterday and it was alright. was damn tired because none of us had been there for ages and we just have to navigate our way by ourselves. we looked like real blur sotong tourists with the map in our hands. well, i have to be the translator and tour guide as i'm the only malay-speaking in the group. wah lau! can DIE because my spoken malay just sucks!! but we had a GREAT seafood dinner at this eating place which is near the sea! and the weather is just perfect! nice breeze and all. after dinner, we went and 'lepak' at the seaside and talked rubbish. (daph! remember our stupid green-eyed monster??!! hahahahahahaha!!!)
my energy was already waning when we were on our way back. to top it all off, the STUPID LRT has to break down!! aarrgghh...so have to take bus...longer journey home! farokh offered to go back to choa chu kang mrt to pass me some cash to take the cab home but i declined.
All in all, it was an average outing for these 6 'suakus' and aimless singaporeans.
marlena
my energy was already waning when we were on our way back. to top it all off, the STUPID LRT has to break down!! aarrgghh...so have to take bus...longer journey home! farokh offered to go back to choa chu kang mrt to pass me some cash to take the cab home but i declined.
All in all, it was an average outing for these 6 'suakus' and aimless singaporeans.
marlena
Sunday, January 11, 2004
it has been drizzling for quite awhile now and i dont think it has really rained much at all since christmas. as usual, nobody is at home. im taking today slow, very slow and in fact, i think i might just read & sleep the entire day away if the weather is willing to stay at this coolness. once in a moment, i guess i should take myself off that 24/7 pressure cooker and what better day to do that, than a Sunday, the Lord's day. am listening to this damn sad chinese song now and wondering at the same time, whether is anyone out there who is listening to the same song and feeling the same way as i do now? my thoughts are starting to drift over the edge already.
"the Lord is my light and my salvation - whom shall i fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life - of whom shall i be afraid?" Psalm 27:1
the damn sad chinese song is called "ye zi"
we will all gently fall....darKness
"the Lord is my light and my salvation - whom shall i fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life - of whom shall i be afraid?" Psalm 27:1
the damn sad chinese song is called "ye zi"
we will all gently fall....darKness
i realised i didn't eat much today at all but drank quite alot of varied fluids. i had coffee for breakfast, scrambled eggs w/cheese & instant noodles for lunch, and 1 fishball & passionfruit juice for dinner. then had iced tea at starfools. had a couple of fishermen's friends candy, lemon flavor. almost burned thru an entire hard pack of m-lights. then i came home made myself another cuppa of coffee. so you see, i didn't really ate much at all today.
david tao sings "liu sha"
here with me....darKness
david tao sings "liu sha"
here with me....darKness
I stare up to the stars love
Stare into your heart
you know our love is for real
you know we can't part
The memories are good
But I don't see you now as much as I should
The memories are good
But I don't see you now as much as I could
I heard you found true love
I've seen you together
gonna get married
gonna be forever
The memories are good
But I don't see you now as much as I should
The memories are good
But I don't see you now as much as I could
- marlena
Stare into your heart
you know our love is for real
you know we can't part
The memories are good
But I don't see you now as much as I should
The memories are good
But I don't see you now as much as I could
I heard you found true love
I've seen you together
gonna get married
gonna be forever
The memories are good
But I don't see you now as much as I should
The memories are good
But I don't see you now as much as I could
- marlena
had been damn slack in posting entries lately..a real and proper post i mean. so, before darkness starts nagging at me or turn this blog into a personal journal of his, i've decided to post something. well, went sun-tanning with stace and juanna earlier today. had great fun and as usual, we had our girls talk under the hot burning sun. well, actually the weather wasn't as hot as last week but it was fun! juanna brought her canon digicam along and we took a couple of funny pixs. we even film a short 3mins movie on her digicam! hahahaha..stace said that she felt as if we were on mtv!! hahahaha..funny girl.
went to town and met up with darkness and punisher. great to be able to hang out with them again! tomorrow or should i say today will be another fun-filled day for me again as i am going to JB with farokh, stace, daph, juanna, rafee, leticia and noraini! but first, have to do a wakeup calls for stace and daph. those two are heavy sleepers!!
btw, i noticed something when i looked at my skin at home...i did turned dark abit!!! FINALLY!!!
-listening to gabrielle's out of reach while typing the above babblings!!-
marlena
went to town and met up with darkness and punisher. great to be able to hang out with them again! tomorrow or should i say today will be another fun-filled day for me again as i am going to JB with farokh, stace, daph, juanna, rafee, leticia and noraini! but first, have to do a wakeup calls for stace and daph. those two are heavy sleepers!!
btw, i noticed something when i looked at my skin at home...i did turned dark abit!!! FINALLY!!!
-listening to gabrielle's out of reach while typing the above babblings!!-
marlena
Friday, January 09, 2004
Maroon 5 (Through With You)
Can you see me
Floating above your head
As you lay in bed
Thinking about everything
That you did not do
Cause saying I love you
Has nothing to do with meaning it
And I don't trust you
Cause every time you're here
Your intentions are unclear
I spend every hour waiting for a phone call
That I know will never come
I used to think you were the one
Now I'm sick of thinking anything at all
You ain't ever coming back to me
That's not how things were supposed to be
You take my hand just to give it back
No other lover has ever done that
Do you remember
The way we used to melt
Do you remember how it felt
When I touched you
Oh cause I remember very well
And how long has it been
Since someone let you in
Has given what I gave to you
And at night when you sleep
Do you dream I would be there
Just for a minute or two do you?
You ain't ever coming back to me
That's not how things were supposed to be
You take my hand just to give it back
No other lover has ever done that
Heartache heartache I just have so much
A simple love with a complex touch
There is nothing you can say or do
I called to let you know I'm through with you
marlena
Can you see me
Floating above your head
As you lay in bed
Thinking about everything
That you did not do
Cause saying I love you
Has nothing to do with meaning it
And I don't trust you
Cause every time you're here
Your intentions are unclear
I spend every hour waiting for a phone call
That I know will never come
I used to think you were the one
Now I'm sick of thinking anything at all
You ain't ever coming back to me
That's not how things were supposed to be
You take my hand just to give it back
No other lover has ever done that
Do you remember
The way we used to melt
Do you remember how it felt
When I touched you
Oh cause I remember very well
And how long has it been
Since someone let you in
Has given what I gave to you
And at night when you sleep
Do you dream I would be there
Just for a minute or two do you?
You ain't ever coming back to me
That's not how things were supposed to be
You take my hand just to give it back
No other lover has ever done that
Heartache heartache I just have so much
A simple love with a complex touch
There is nothing you can say or do
I called to let you know I'm through with you
marlena
Dinner #2
okae, other than nearly dying from that loser migraine, i did managed to find some time to crack my head on what will the menu be for Dinner #2. i called it that way becos i had already cooked Lunch #1 for marlena, daphne & stace earlier last month. this time round, having more time to prepare it, i shall be very much more ambitious by deciding on a 4-course dinner, all complete with opening drinks & after-dinner-chill-out snacks included. the menu will be roughly as follows:
* watermelons balls in sparkling apple cider fizz (opening drinks)
* raw tuna wrapped in seaweed laced with lime & a dab of mayo served in a
porcelain spoon. (1st course - cold dish)
prawns sitting in diced water chestnut laced with sweet vinegar served in a
porcelain spoon. (1st course - cold dish)
* a traditional Caesar Salad with spicy thai fried squid tossed in for that extra bite
(2nd course)
* chicken breast meats cooked in bags made from aluminium foil. it'll simmering inside the bags with cherry tomatoes, leeks, garlics, and the usual seasoning & herbs.
(3rd course - the main one)
* mango lime sago (4th course -dessert)
am not sure yet of what after-dinner snacks im making but will definitely have to do with chocolate & chocolate. had already decided on the guest list so if you're not invited in this round, be patient, cos the next round which i shall aptly name as Dinner #3, you'll surely be included.
mew sings "she came home for christmas"
damn it, i still miss her like hell, why God, why....darKness
okae, other than nearly dying from that loser migraine, i did managed to find some time to crack my head on what will the menu be for Dinner #2. i called it that way becos i had already cooked Lunch #1 for marlena, daphne & stace earlier last month. this time round, having more time to prepare it, i shall be very much more ambitious by deciding on a 4-course dinner, all complete with opening drinks & after-dinner-chill-out snacks included. the menu will be roughly as follows:
* watermelons balls in sparkling apple cider fizz (opening drinks)
* raw tuna wrapped in seaweed laced with lime & a dab of mayo served in a
porcelain spoon. (1st course - cold dish)
prawns sitting in diced water chestnut laced with sweet vinegar served in a
porcelain spoon. (1st course - cold dish)
* a traditional Caesar Salad with spicy thai fried squid tossed in for that extra bite
(2nd course)
* chicken breast meats cooked in bags made from aluminium foil. it'll simmering inside the bags with cherry tomatoes, leeks, garlics, and the usual seasoning & herbs.
(3rd course - the main one)
* mango lime sago (4th course -dessert)
am not sure yet of what after-dinner snacks im making but will definitely have to do with chocolate & chocolate. had already decided on the guest list so if you're not invited in this round, be patient, cos the next round which i shall aptly name as Dinner #3, you'll surely be included.
mew sings "she came home for christmas"
damn it, i still miss her like hell, why God, why....darKness
i had a bloody killer migraine straight early in the late morning today. it like just came like a shot out of the blue, that i didn't even have enough time for the painkillers to kick in that i started feeling nausea. and true enough, like any hardy migraine loser, i began vomitting like the Yellow River. i puked my entire breakfast of scrambled eggs & toast, and coffee. i puked whatever was left over from the previous night's dinner. i puked until i got nothing left to puke. i ended up puking digestive juices. and oh yeah, couldn't stand the brightness of my own room that i had to sleep in my step-brother's lower-deck bunk bed that he shares with his sis. i used a big blanket to drape the side and managed to sleep in almost utter darkness. final conclusion, nearly died.
carlos santana feat. musiq sings "nothing at all"
im a product of my rage....darKness
carlos santana feat. musiq sings "nothing at all"
im a product of my rage....darKness
Wednesday, January 07, 2004
as of recent nights, my sleep sessions have been riddled filled with dreams, dreams that are damn weird. its as though they were trying to speak to me in riddles but the moment that im awake, i'd just lose the plot. and to a large extent, it has been disturbing my sleep too. i wake up feeling not entirely rested and yearning for more sleep in the day. this is bad. CNY is ushering in pretty soon and my step-family is making their preparations felt, especially in terms of the CNY goodies, and my stepmom whom is very adept in pastry skills, is making pineapple tarts and so much more. seeing her mixing & baking, creates this urge in me to cook lunch for my friends again. and this time round for the lunch, i was thinking of bringing it a step further by making it a proper 4-course fare. i had already thot of the first course which is the cold dish, seafood style. im still thinking of the other 3 courses and also using the dean & deluca cookbook for ideas. once i can get everything settled, like getting enough $$$$ to buy the food, then i'll decide who'll be invited this round. but of cos, the permanent lunchers will be marlena, zakk, and punisher. can never leave this bunch of kiddies out, you know.......
carlos santana feat. musiq sings "nothing at all"
i'll be in a daze, i'll forget you, i'll close my eyes, and soon everything will be alright....darKness
carlos santana feat. musiq sings "nothing at all"
i'll be in a daze, i'll forget you, i'll close my eyes, and soon everything will be alright....darKness
Tuesday, January 06, 2004
something is wrong!! i can't view any blogs that are hosted by blogger!! aarrgghh.
anyway, just chatted with farokh and we are thinking of going to JB this sunday...will ask around to see if there's any takers.
and this just pop up in my head...i've decided to cut down on my alcohol intake and take better care of the people around me. currently, most of my girlfriends are besieged by sadness and they are picking up the drinking habit. this is bad and i think it's time that i show a good example around here.....hehehehehe.
marlena
anyway, just chatted with farokh and we are thinking of going to JB this sunday...will ask around to see if there's any takers.
and this just pop up in my head...i've decided to cut down on my alcohol intake and take better care of the people around me. currently, most of my girlfriends are besieged by sadness and they are picking up the drinking habit. this is bad and i think it's time that i show a good example around here.....hehehehehe.
marlena
Sunday, January 04, 2004
was just sitting down and thinking how much had taken place in the last year. too many entanglements and too little work done seems to be the conclusion. ive never been in favour of making resolutions and dont think i ever will. resolutions to me are like hints of "lets try to complete this" instead i prefer "either you do it or you dont" it dawned on me that i need to work harder. yesh, i need to put in a little bit more effort in whatever endeavour that im slogging away, and learn to sleep that little bit less. ive always been a devout believer that sleeping can wait until i die. it is also a fact that the past has a way of catching up with you. too many skirmishes in the ending months of 2003 has left me both gutless & not much wiser yet. i guess life is precious and i still like to gaze at those white fluffy clouds racing with each other on a sunny afternoon. im sure life given by Him is just too precious to be lived in such a way. either you do it or dont, never try.
chinese mtv is playing this song called "ye zi"
agape....darKness
chinese mtv is playing this song called "ye zi"
agape....darKness
Friday, January 02, 2004
met daphne in the store yesterday. farokh was there too as we are supposed to meet up. and this farokh taught daphne of the takashimaya theme song and she couldn't stop singing it!! it's driving me nuts! hahahahaha. thank god we parted ways as daphne was having dinner with her friend. farokh and i headed down to times centrepoint to get a book for peizhen and had dinner after that. he was telling me how pissed drunk i sounded on the phone when he called to check on how i was doing on NYE. even till today, he keep teasing me about it although i totally could not recall that phone conversation at all. hahahaha....gone case already..
anyway, work was good today. abit busy but the day turned out fine. was spending my last hour at work at info 3 when kenny appeared from nowhere. and guess what??! farokh had to mention about me being dead drunk. hahahaha. kenny didn't know about it initially. well, i guess he does now. i told him about me barging into the bathroom to puke and finding sharil in there as well! he had just finished doing his big business and was pulling up his pants the moment i came in! hahahaha. actually, can't remember this incident but when sharul told me about it, i just could not stop laughing!!! hahahahahaha...so funny.
had dinner with kenny and it's good to see him. it feels as though i have not seen him for quite some time...hmmm....weird. but kenny said it's only been a week. i guess alot of things had happened lately and they happened too fast. maybe that could be the reason.
oh ya, wanted to go to heeren to help check out the pair of adidas shoes that punisher wanted but decided not to at the last minute. sorry punisher, i'm too lazy. you have to do it yourself...hehehe.
maroon 5 singing 'this love'
marlena
anyway, work was good today. abit busy but the day turned out fine. was spending my last hour at work at info 3 when kenny appeared from nowhere. and guess what??! farokh had to mention about me being dead drunk. hahahaha. kenny didn't know about it initially. well, i guess he does now. i told him about me barging into the bathroom to puke and finding sharil in there as well! he had just finished doing his big business and was pulling up his pants the moment i came in! hahahaha. actually, can't remember this incident but when sharul told me about it, i just could not stop laughing!!! hahahahahaha...so funny.
had dinner with kenny and it's good to see him. it feels as though i have not seen him for quite some time...hmmm....weird. but kenny said it's only been a week. i guess alot of things had happened lately and they happened too fast. maybe that could be the reason.
oh ya, wanted to go to heeren to help check out the pair of adidas shoes that punisher wanted but decided not to at the last minute. sorry punisher, i'm too lazy. you have to do it yourself...hehehe.
maroon 5 singing 'this love'
marlena
Thursday, January 01, 2004
the new year countdown celebration at the hotel was a major blast!!! had lots of great fun, goofing around, huge consumption of alcohol and some shedding of tears...hehehe. the guys even had a wrestling match! it was crazzzzyyyyy!!! in the end, got chased out of the hotel for making too much of a din. hahahaha.....farewell 2003. a big warm welcome to 2004!!
sugababes singing 'too lost in you'
marlena
sugababes singing 'too lost in you'
marlena
HAPPY
NEW
YEAR
EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!
SLEEPY...YAWN.............
jay-z is CHANGING CLOTHES...YIKESSSSS
punisher
NEW
YEAR
EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!
SLEEPY...YAWN.............
jay-z is CHANGING CLOTHES...YIKESSSSS
punisher
