Wednesday, March 31, 2004
was on the phone with natalie just now, and she's making me guilty by not being hardworking enough. so i shall resort to be more of a hardworking jackass, less of a procrastinator, more of a ruthless kid, less of a faithless prick, more of a fiercer breed, less of a stick-in-the-mud, more of a crazier shithead, less of a law-abiding citizen, more of a 24/7 whatever, less of that "sleep sessions", and more of that evil mindfarker that i am, and more of that "trust-&-obey-in-God", and more of that "accepting-it-as-a-divine-right", and more of that "praying sessions", and less of all that unproductive stuff towards the biz. yesh, just like what ditz said, BooksActually is & will be my divine right to claim. all i have to do now, is to pick up life examples from those old hongkong drama serials, learn all about the shady wheelings & dealings of the biz world....ahahahhaa (am not thinking right at all)
prodigy enlightens the house with ""voodoo people, magic people"
its like explaining death to the dog, and getting a wag of the tail in return....darKness-ak
prodigy enlightens the house with ""voodoo people, magic people"
its like explaining death to the dog, and getting a wag of the tail in return....darKness-ak
Tuesday, March 30, 2004
hehe, tomorrow will be meeting up with peizhen to get this projectshop sling bag that ive been pinning for. its abit like my crumpler but smaller, and the colour is like off-denim-maroon. okae i know i should be conserving money but im a sucker for bags. i can feel my eyes peeling off already, have been staring at the computer the entire day. have also been running thru ads in various magazines so that i can come up with ideas / themes for BooksActually.com own's marketing campaign. already have some relevant ideas & designs in mind already so now, all i need to do is to make the mock-ups. which leads to me having to pick up my freehand skills again, dont ask me why im using freehand to do the designs, maybe it was becos i used to use freehand9 to make that defunct magazine of mine. alright, one step at a time. oh yesh, im still on the mindset theme of "im running out of sympathy", someone out there please mindfark me or else this is going to be seriously damaging towards my outlook of life in general....
taking back sunday sings "great romances of the 20th century"
so what's the point....darKness-ak
taking back sunday sings "great romances of the 20th century"
so what's the point....darKness-ak
she says / im running out of sympathy / she says / lets get it over and done with / still stuck in the middle / hanging halfway there by a lousy thin string / but i still know everything / she knows me too / still listening to taking back sunday / and they are teaching me "im running out of sympathy" / its going to be a very thin line / between right & wrong / getting caught / and not getting caught / has it been worth it? / and i still know everything / the darkness is an issue by itself / good / more or less / things are falling into thier places / like the square peg fits the square hole / im almost there / becos it is on the tip iof my tongue / lets not think of tomorrow / for tomorrow will come today / i will not take this a lying down / lets get this over with /
taking back sunday sings "great romances of the 20th century"
im just acting stoopid....darKness-ak
taking back sunday sings "great romances of the 20th century"
im just acting stoopid....darKness-ak
Monday, March 29, 2004
ahahhahahaa, i still haven't got the new keyboard yet, still using daniella's one. knida troublesome becos need to fix it back up later, and it is also kinda of resticting my internet access with no ready keyboard on my table. like i said im back, back, back. yupz, been kinda of busy burying my head in work for BooksActually. okae, i did slack off quite abit also. but at least im getting things done around here. currently, final obstacle is to sourced out the 30K financing for the biz. so any generous lenders out there, give me a buzz but no loansharks please becos i know enough loansharks myself to fill an entire starpukes cafe. ive been running thru some advertising ideas & designs for the biz and soon will doing mock-ups for it. all these working thru the stuff for BooksActually brings back those memories when the biz had 4partners. now it's only me so which means i got to suck it up, and get down to it right? must NOT get waylaid by procrastination, focus & more focus, let it be 24/7 then.
taking back sunday sings "great romances of the 20th century"
im running out of sympathy....darKness-ak
taking back sunday sings "great romances of the 20th century"
im running out of sympathy....darKness-ak
Sunday, March 28, 2004
okae, my computer is back up & running, faster, fiercer, even faster, even fiercer, than ever before. all thanks to miE for souping it up for me. shall blog more later tomorrow becos truth be told, im actually using my sister's keyboard. turns out that my old one is spoilt already. have to go buy a new one tomorrow, that is if i can find the time. in the meantime, everyone of you out there take care, i miss all of you, and my wisdom tooth is NO longer hurting me. as i might usually say, darkness-ak is back....
taking back sunday sings "great romances of the 20th century"
i love you so we should get this over & done with....darKness-ak
taking back sunday sings "great romances of the 20th century"
i love you so we should get this over & done with....darKness-ak
Saturday, March 20, 2004
i ate honeystars cornflakes & milk for breakfast today / the wisdom tooth pain is tapering off / which is a good thing since i had stopped taking painkillers since last night / had decided to rest one more day at home today / but my tyrant boss is bugging me to go back to work tomorrow / am wondering which part of the medical cert which he doesn't understand of which states that im on sick leave till monday / but nevermind / shall go back to work tomorrow / just to tickle his balls a little bit / just spoke to peizhen on the phone / and things seem to be on lull now / my thots is still very much pre-occupied with BooksActually.com / as from last night / and i still think that i need some sort of direction / though i might actually be staring it right before my eyes now / and im also quite thankful after reading ditz's blog for the multitude of response towards a sensitive issue /
/ and i still think that im a divergent christian / somehow i grew up knowing at the back of my mind that i'll always be a / divergent christian / i put God high on a pedestal / for worship / for adoration / for fear / and i also put God on my level / for sustenance / for friendship / for closeness / which you can see / as some would deem it as dis-respectful / as almost absurd / but would i care? / if you think i would / then you dont know me very well / and i'll still ask / got milk or not? /
dido sings "all you want"
i'd like to watch you sleep and hear you breathing by my side....darKness-ak
/ and i still think that im a divergent christian / somehow i grew up knowing at the back of my mind that i'll always be a / divergent christian / i put God high on a pedestal / for worship / for adoration / for fear / and i also put God on my level / for sustenance / for friendship / for closeness / which you can see / as some would deem it as dis-respectful / as almost absurd / but would i care? / if you think i would / then you dont know me very well / and i'll still ask / got milk or not? /
dido sings "all you want"
i'd like to watch you sleep and hear you breathing by my side....darKness-ak
Friday, March 19, 2004
mired in streams of procrastination / procrastinating and more procrastinating / got milk? / i bought honeystar cornflakes today / and it has special limited-time only comet-shaped cornflakes inside / suddenly had this craving for cornflakes / maybe due to the pain of the wisdom tooth / can feel the stitches that the dentist put in yesterday / i'll take a walk in the woods if i had the guts / must get off this procrastination rut / only managed to rearranged the stacks of books / they were leaning like the leaning tower of pisa / so had to do something before it collapsed & get damaged / dad said he'll get me some bookshelves to contain the remaining ones that is lying in stacks now / also found enough strength to clean my room today / supposed to do some work now but here im posting / will watch resident evil on tv later / so meaning more time goes down the drain / shall call beverly too to update her on what is going on /
/my mind is so pre-occupied with thots of BooksActually.com / now im wondering if punisher & i should invite a 3rd partner? / becos i had said earlier that i had closed off the circle no matter who leaves / any bravado gutsy takers out there? / got milk again? / not exactly looking forward to work tomorrow / but have to work there becos it'll pay me the most / than other retail jobs out there / unless i go back to my runner-days / but thats crazy / im still procrastinating / the news on tv is damn chaotic / must try to work there as long as possible / so that i can save as much money possible for the biz of BooksActually / who ever said that it was easy? / still got milk or not? / maybe tonight, i'll pray hard enough / and stillness will come / and darkness will surround / and i'll learn how to read a book /
/ i dont listen well enough / i know there is there is the biz as backup / but that part of proving myself in this current work is abit vain / i need guidance / i need directions / i need a helping hand / feel kinda lost / like i was when i was in the midst of quitting from poly / i should finish up reading my books / and allow God to step in / take hold / and i'll say nothing /
santana feat musiq sings "nothing at all"
im a product of my age, i chose this direction, dont even think of stopping me becos God is my ally....darKness-ak
/my mind is so pre-occupied with thots of BooksActually.com / now im wondering if punisher & i should invite a 3rd partner? / becos i had said earlier that i had closed off the circle no matter who leaves / any bravado gutsy takers out there? / got milk again? / not exactly looking forward to work tomorrow / but have to work there becos it'll pay me the most / than other retail jobs out there / unless i go back to my runner-days / but thats crazy / im still procrastinating / the news on tv is damn chaotic / must try to work there as long as possible / so that i can save as much money possible for the biz of BooksActually / who ever said that it was easy? / still got milk or not? / maybe tonight, i'll pray hard enough / and stillness will come / and darkness will surround / and i'll learn how to read a book /
/ i dont listen well enough / i know there is there is the biz as backup / but that part of proving myself in this current work is abit vain / i need guidance / i need directions / i need a helping hand / feel kinda lost / like i was when i was in the midst of quitting from poly / i should finish up reading my books / and allow God to step in / take hold / and i'll say nothing /
santana feat musiq sings "nothing at all"
im a product of my age, i chose this direction, dont even think of stopping me becos God is my ally....darKness-ak
Thursday, March 18, 2004
oh man, the wisdom tooth extraction was traumatising & horrific. to begin with the bloody tooth came out in 7 neat pieces. even before the dentist started to op on me, while giving me the g.a. jab, he said that pus was leaking from that area becos infection had set in already. and then he said the tooth was slanted in a very funny position after the x-ray. i really wanted to ask what so funny about it. then it was then he started to get down to work. first, he drilled like 10,000 times, switching to a high speed drill when he realised the slower one wasn't performing up to his standard. then, he told me that he was going to crack the tooth into little pieces for easier removal, and i'd bound to feel some pain becos he believed that the g.a. jab wouldn't be that really effective around the infected area. cracking the tooth wasn't that bad, its the part where he had to remove the root of the tooth. i can tell that he was like using alot alot of strength just trying to dislodge the damn thing. and the best thing was that his assistant nurse wasn't my stepmom but the new girl. you see, my stepmom has decided to move to newer pastures so the new girl has to pick up everything now. and today, me, was her first wisdom tooth extraction patient that she had ever encountered. overall, it was pain , blood, drilling, icky medical paste taste, suction, more blood, lotsa of blood, and pulling. haiz, it was that bad. for those out there that has a wisdom tooth problem, pray hard that its not in a funny slanted position. if it is, remember to ask the dentist what so funny about it? my only consolation was that the assistant nurse was actually quite cute, and the whole time while the dentist was trying to dislodge the bloody thing, she had to put her hands on my left cheek for extra support. heheheheeheee.
michelle branch sings "all you wanted"
i wanted to be like you...darKness-ak
michelle branch sings "all you wanted"
i wanted to be like you...darKness-ak
aahahhahaha, just tried this quiz hoping that it'd help ease the pain of the wisdom tooth extraction. you try it too....
congratulations. you are the kiss my ass happy
bunny. You don't care about anyone or anything.
You must be so proud
which happy bunny are you?
brought to you by quizilla
darKness-ak
congratulations. you are the kiss my ass happy
bunny. You don't care about anyone or anything.
You must be so proud
which happy bunny are you?
brought to you by quizilla
darKness-ak
Wednesday, March 17, 2004
i can feel that procrastination setting into myself again, infact, the procrastination has taken root already. im now thinking is it becos of the new work & all that long hours, thats why im slacking off my work & progress for BooksActually.com? yesh, for those who still dont know the truth, BooksActually is alive well & kicking. i'll NOT go into the details why we had previously siad that it was closed it down, and now im saying its still going on. well, behind the scenes, its really messy. all i can say is that the biz & affairs for BooksActually will be put on hold as long as im holding on to this current job that im at. officially, BooksActually has only 2partners now, namely punisher & me. and as explained earlier, the biz has been put on hold becos im intending to earn as much as possible from this current job, save it up, and then use it later to set up the biz. so i hope this is as clear as i could clarify at the moment.one step at a time, i shall get this wisdom tooth problem settled first. the dentist says i need to have a minor-op to get the dastard thing out. so he's going to put me under the scapel tomoro, and guess what, my tyrant boss is hoping that i can go back to work on friday. he has gotta be either crazy or he thinks im taking morphine for painkillers. after this wisdom tooth is settled, i shall buck up, pull my socks up, gather all my strength, and set a routine for the biz & affairs of BooksActually. if God willing, right around this time next year, BooksActually.com will be up and then God will explain everything for me. then i'll be the one asking, "where has all that faith & trust in me gone to?"
ken hirai sings "missing you"
it will break my heart to see you go....darKness-ak
ken hirai sings "missing you"
it will break my heart to see you go....darKness-ak
Tuesday, March 16, 2004
argggggghhhh, my wisdom tooth is killing me, its butchering me alive, its a pain in the ass, it has to be some sort of retribution from God for all my evil deeds. okae, you get my drift, the wisdom tooth is killing me inside out. so ive decided to NOT to go to work today, and get moving to the dentist instead. ive put up with the pain for an entire week already, and i seriously think that it has crossed my threshold of pain. but getting rid of the pissed-off tooth is going to cost me moolah so which means ive to go ask moolah from dad since im way off from getting my first pay yet. argggggghhhh, feel kinda guilty that ive to ask moolah from dad again. okae, just spoke to dad and he said to wait for my stepmom to come back in the afternoon, and then she'll bring me to the dentist where she had worked previously. but the problem is can i wait that long???? i think i'll talk to dad again soon, and inform him that i dont think i can wait that long becos the gums around the fark-tub tooth area seems to be decomposing already. in fact, it has been bleeding now & then since yesterday. i still seriously think that this is retribution / punishment from God, and im glad that this has happened. at least, the retribution isn't as bad as i thot it might turn out to be, and maybe this'll result in some sort of tabula rasa for me. well, at least, tabula rasa for the last one year.
3 doors down sings "here without you"
the morning is overcast, the rains will speak to me soon enough, and i'll write letters to God....darKness-ak
3 doors down sings "here without you"
the morning is overcast, the rains will speak to me soon enough, and i'll write letters to God....darKness-ak
Monday, March 15, 2004
sometimes we pray / hope so much for a miracle to happen, and that when it happens, we actually miss it, we actually dont see. i was watching john Q on tv earlier and this is how i think a miracle takes place as roughly according to the show's storyline.
imagine there is a very sick kid out there in this world whom is sticken with a debilatating heart condition. the doctors have done their best, and the only way to keep him alive is to go for heart trans-op. but as you'd have it, the kid's bloodtype is ab+, and such unique bloodtype means that there are very little matching donors out there. its abit like searching for a single 5cent coin inside Borders. and now, on this bright sunny afternoon, there is this young lady, full of life, has a loving family, a loving fiance, and recently has just set up a books cafe establishment in town, and its doing pretty well. and yet in her young life, she has always struggled to prove herself, and at long last, everything seems to finally even out, but in the last few years of hard work & keeping up with the status quo, she realised that she has lost abit of that youthful verve that she used to possessed. something always seems to be missing, its like her heart has still one missing puzzle piece to it. in fact, her fave pasttime was to stare at stars in the night and looked at the passing clouds in the day. in one word, she loved to daydream, and its good enough to say that now, she's feeling slightly resentful, as she's driving in her jaguar, that she hasn't found the time to daydream. so while driving on this bright sunny afternoon, she decided to peek up and see the clouds abit. she thot that it be okae becos she was driving along this stretch of road that didn't had too much traffic, and after all, she has driven on this road every single day in - day out, what can really go wrong to take her eyes off the road for that little while?
and surely God is very loving towards her by showing her His wondrous creation. in fact, she was thinking that that had to be the most beautiful picture of clouds slowly drifting past against the clear blue sky. in her heart, she agreed that God had just shown her something very wonderful, giving her back that lost youthful verve. for that minute, nothing else matters becos she experienced life. so she stared at the lovely clouds. and out from the left filter lane, a truck had just drove out and she crashed into it.
later in the day, the sick kid's parents received news that a donor has been found for their son. the kid's parents were ecastic, thanking God, thanking everyone for their devoted prayers, and of all, knowing that their kid will live. on the other hand, the young lady's family, fiance and friends has to go through immense grief. a grief that most probably you nor i will ever know how it feels, the sheer magnitude of the pain is enough to make one break down & give up entirely. but God's grace & love will surely fill up that void in their hearts. for they know that in their grief, another life has been saved. they also understand that God can give, God can also take. and the young lady's fiance know that we can determine but God pre-determines, we can dispose but God pre-disposes. so you see, there is always a miracle waiting to happen, if only we allow oursleves to slow down and recognise it.
evanescence sings "my immortal"
do you know that the skies are very clear tonight, and i can see the stars....darKness-ak
imagine there is a very sick kid out there in this world whom is sticken with a debilatating heart condition. the doctors have done their best, and the only way to keep him alive is to go for heart trans-op. but as you'd have it, the kid's bloodtype is ab+, and such unique bloodtype means that there are very little matching donors out there. its abit like searching for a single 5cent coin inside Borders. and now, on this bright sunny afternoon, there is this young lady, full of life, has a loving family, a loving fiance, and recently has just set up a books cafe establishment in town, and its doing pretty well. and yet in her young life, she has always struggled to prove herself, and at long last, everything seems to finally even out, but in the last few years of hard work & keeping up with the status quo, she realised that she has lost abit of that youthful verve that she used to possessed. something always seems to be missing, its like her heart has still one missing puzzle piece to it. in fact, her fave pasttime was to stare at stars in the night and looked at the passing clouds in the day. in one word, she loved to daydream, and its good enough to say that now, she's feeling slightly resentful, as she's driving in her jaguar, that she hasn't found the time to daydream. so while driving on this bright sunny afternoon, she decided to peek up and see the clouds abit. she thot that it be okae becos she was driving along this stretch of road that didn't had too much traffic, and after all, she has driven on this road every single day in - day out, what can really go wrong to take her eyes off the road for that little while?
and surely God is very loving towards her by showing her His wondrous creation. in fact, she was thinking that that had to be the most beautiful picture of clouds slowly drifting past against the clear blue sky. in her heart, she agreed that God had just shown her something very wonderful, giving her back that lost youthful verve. for that minute, nothing else matters becos she experienced life. so she stared at the lovely clouds. and out from the left filter lane, a truck had just drove out and she crashed into it.
later in the day, the sick kid's parents received news that a donor has been found for their son. the kid's parents were ecastic, thanking God, thanking everyone for their devoted prayers, and of all, knowing that their kid will live. on the other hand, the young lady's family, fiance and friends has to go through immense grief. a grief that most probably you nor i will ever know how it feels, the sheer magnitude of the pain is enough to make one break down & give up entirely. but God's grace & love will surely fill up that void in their hearts. for they know that in their grief, another life has been saved. they also understand that God can give, God can also take. and the young lady's fiance know that we can determine but God pre-determines, we can dispose but God pre-disposes. so you see, there is always a miracle waiting to happen, if only we allow oursleves to slow down and recognise it.
evanescence sings "my immortal"
do you know that the skies are very clear tonight, and i can see the stars....darKness-ak
got my results for the 6 modules that i've sat for. 3 distinctions, 2 credits and a pass. sigh..i hate seeing that pass grade together with the rest of my results for the other modules. it just doesnt look good. and to make matter worse, three of the poorer students did better than me! hmphh!
oh well, what can i do. what's done is done.
will put in more effort for the upcoming exams. will not get distracted like i did before. it's not worth it...it is really not worth it.
marlena
oh well, what can i do. what's done is done.
will put in more effort for the upcoming exams. will not get distracted like i did before. it's not worth it...it is really not worth it.
marlena
Sunday, March 14, 2004
okae now for some serious blogging since ive been kept away due to work. this'll be a very long post becos i hope to update everyone on what have been going in the past 6days. for those that already dont know, im now working at a female shoewear store located at bugis village - beside kfc - and am working 6days a week, putting in a damn farking tiring & stressful 13 -14hrs of work everyday. and believe it'll get even more stressful & pressurizing as i'll get the sup-position in a week's time or so. the selling & serving part of the female customers is relatively easy-going, if it wasn't the pressure to meet a daily sales target, and the long hours, the work there would definitely win hands down than at borders. but then the pay is also better, and also got commission so i shouldn't complain too much. upon God's immaculate blessings, in the last 6 days, ive ended 3days in the no.2 position for sales, 2days in no.1, and 1day in no.4. and as you can see, this proves a very important point abput me personally, i REALLY know HOW TO LIE, HOW to CHEAT the customers to buy not 1 but mostly 2 - 3 pairs of shoes from me.... and weird enough, i can feel that guilty conscience kicking in. im so damn farking evil, please dont follow in my footsteps, will surely get retribution. but i like to put it in my grandmother's & mother's words, my words are like honey, i really know how to sweetalk, turning black to white, white to black....muahahahahah. as i mentioned, the work is quite pressurizing becos we've to meet the daily sales target, and when im a sup, i'll have to meet the sales target for the entire store. and the best thing is that im actually working for a TYRANT. well, it was the tyrant that pulled me into this job, so if i toe the line well enough, im praying that he'll give chance abit if i ever commit a mistake or dont meet sales target. and for him to give chance, i shall pray & ask from God, blessings of favour & mercy, as i go about in my daily work. as of now, im truly thankful to God for my relatively okae performance, and also the strength & endurance for me to last on. on another level, i'll try to tahan in this job for exactly a year, and then, it'd be b-y-e-b-y-e becos ulitimately, the LOVE for the books biz is just too immense. sometimes, you just got to do the things that matters regardless of the circumstances or current attractive options. i'd prefer to take the risk of saving as much $$$$ as possible, and then use it to set up BooksActually.com. regardless what others think, my CONVICTION is geared towards setting up BooksActually, and with God's permission, allow it grow big enough to be considered a major player on this tiny island of ours. after all, if i want to buy over Paragon, i cant rely on a salary to achieve that dream, no matter how big the salary may be. either i marry a damn rich wife or i set up my own biz, grow it big with God's permission, and move on from there. with that, i'll be able to do the things that ive always wanted, which is to help, yes, simply to help. i got that help when dad was off work for an entire year when i was 17 after he got his heart attack. my mom has always been a housewife and becos of dad's debilatating condition, she also needed to look after dad. so during that year, family friends from our church supported our family both financially & in prayers, and for that im truly thankful, and also saw God's handiwork. so as of now, enough of my bullshit, shall try to perservere as best as i could becos the hours are really hellish, i stand a minimum of 13hours everyday, and my break is a mere 15 minutes. i told you i was working for a tyrant, didn't i? in the meantime, all you GIRLS, yes all of you GIRLS, who reads this bloody blog, you all must come down to buy shoes from me. of cos lah, i'll earn commission of you, but surely making me happy would also make you happy rite.... the most i make that spastic hilarious face action for your entertainment benefit. and sorry arh, cannot ask for discount becos this is NOT Borders hor. but currently we're having a 20% discount promo lah. remember to always ASK for me when you down buying shoes, i'll be waiting for you all at bugis village opposite parco, the store beside the kfc. bring your mothers & girlfriends, and come make your bestest friend, kenny, a happy dopey kid everyday, everyday, everyday. btw, im off on this coming Monday. ohhh damn, im so shameless...ahahhahahahha.
hitomi sings "kimi no tari"
the tears in my heart clouds my eyes, and soon i'll not think about you anymore....darKness-ak
hitomi sings "kimi no tari"
the tears in my heart clouds my eyes, and soon i'll not think about you anymore....darKness-ak
Saturday, March 13, 2004
DIRTY DANCING 2 is hot!!!!! It's so sensual and the moves...oh my oh my...
Just downloaded the soundtrack and shaking my bootie to the music now...hahahaha.
ok, gonna get ready to go class now. have an advertising test today.
cya! enjoy!
music playing: dirty dancing - black eyed peas
marlena
Just downloaded the soundtrack and shaking my bootie to the music now...hahahaha.
ok, gonna get ready to go class now. have an advertising test today.
cya! enjoy!
music playing: dirty dancing - black eyed peas
marlena
Tuesday, March 09, 2004
I told myself that I wasn't going to write until I got some work done. and as I flipped through the things to do... I only have one thing due tomorrow... which I don't know how to do. and the rest of the work I can postpone at least until tomorrow night. I don't really know what I want to talk about. I mean there are things running through my head but I am not sure they are appropriate to be announced to all those that read this. and as much as I don't believe they should be shared with everyone, I really want to tell someone what I am thinking. all my little thoughts... all my little secrets... all of me... I don't know... and since I can't seem to find my own words to express how it is I am feeling or what it is I am thinking. i thought of using random quotes from movies, songs and stuff. i like that idea. here's some of them..
"Not talkin' 'bout a year
no not three or four
I don't want that kind of forever
in my life anymore
forever always seems
to be around when it begins
but forever never seems
to be around when it ends"
"My face to the sky
Dreaming about just how high
I could go and if I know
When I will finally get there"
"But the thoughts we try to deny
Take a toll upon our lives
We struggle on in depths of pride
Tangled up in single minds"
till next time,
marlena
"Not talkin' 'bout a year
no not three or four
I don't want that kind of forever
in my life anymore
forever always seems
to be around when it begins
but forever never seems
to be around when it ends"
"My face to the sky
Dreaming about just how high
I could go and if I know
When I will finally get there"
"But the thoughts we try to deny
Take a toll upon our lives
We struggle on in depths of pride
Tangled up in single minds"
till next time,
marlena
Heart of Gold
What is Your Heart REALLY Made of?
brought to you by Quizilla
sounds crappy but hopefully....someday...
marlena
Sunday, March 07, 2004
i heard them saying, im beginning work the next day, i heard whispers of 6days of brightness falling, 13-straight-hours, of work, work & work, the coffee, on my desk is starting to cool, and when my books begins to talk to me, its like the seduction of the stillness, the seduction of water, listening to raemus, and i can see why i believe that the raven, the crow, is as beautiful as that beauitful lump of coal, and i asked for beautiful lumps of coal for my birthday because they are really so beauitful, and if given a chance, i'll write you birthday letters everyday, so if nobody speak of remarkable things, will you help me out, the miracle is inside of you, i see the professional killer, and we'll walk over silbury hill, and upon great jones street, i'll meet up with you and bring us out of this year of living dangerously, if you believe hard enough, the elephant vanishes, and soon, i'll daydream great dreams of Heaven, and i must remember to give thanks to Him, not to be blindsided, neither sidewinded nor under the weather, just stillness, and where the bluebird sings to the lemonade springs, i'll stay with you, for life is just too short, isn't it....
tori amos sings live "cooling"
when the day ends, i'll drink my coffee, thank the Lord, and stand at the 17th floor window, seeking her & my stillness....darKness-ak
tori amos sings live "cooling"
when the day ends, i'll drink my coffee, thank the Lord, and stand at the 17th floor window, seeking her & my stillness....darKness-ak
Saturday, March 06, 2004
hmmm...wonder what happened to punisher? u still there??
anyway, catch up with you guys later. i'm off to phuture.
have fun, happy snoozing.
music playing: red blooded woman - kylie minogue
marlena
anyway, catch up with you guys later. i'm off to phuture.
have fun, happy snoozing.
music playing: red blooded woman - kylie minogue
marlena
mars over moon, i see trials & more trials ahead, and afraid am i for not being able to rise to the occassion, so i will seek His favour, His mercies, His ceaseless grace, but i do see His blessings still, for giving me a back-up plan, when everything else fails, ive been waiting in this darkling shadows, shall abide with old patience, save the substenance like crazy, pay back every obligations, and see that the trials will be good, truth will always be told, in my usual arrogance, i will show you my techniques & skills that you cant steal because im the original ak, and i'll forever be emo to the one that i finally love, but they said im cold-hearted like an ass, so is it ever wrong if my dream is to buy over Paragon, and i dont think its too wrong to say that ive learnt to be manipulative, ive learnt to mindfark, ive learnt to see the grey areas whenever it is required so, in this requiem for ten thousand dreams, i might soon feel the angel with the hundred wings passing me by, in everywhichaway, this is me, now. and nobody ever said that it'd be easy, so lets get on straight to fight.
coldplay sings "clocks"
they say i have a semi-charmed life, and my mother had always taught me that since i was smaller-size than everyone else, so i must fight harder than everyone else, even if it means theirs or my blood be drawn....darKness-ak
coldplay sings "clocks"
they say i have a semi-charmed life, and my mother had always taught me that since i was smaller-size than everyone else, so i must fight harder than everyone else, even if it means theirs or my blood be drawn....darKness-ak
btw, was watching coyote ugly for film studies in class just now and i couldn't get this song out of my head. it's one of leanne rimes's song entitled 'but i do love you'. check it out. a bit sappy but nice tune.
I don't like to be alone at night
And I don't like to hear I'm wrong when I'm right
And I don't like to have the rain on my shoes
But I do love you
But I do love you
I don't like to see the sky painted grey
And I don't like when, nothin's goin my way
And I don't like to be the one with the blues
But I do love you
But I do love you
I love everything about the way your lovin me
The way you lay your head upon shoulder when you sleep
And I love to kiss you in the rain
I love everything you do, oh I do
And I don't like to turn the radio on
Just to find I missed my favorite song
And I don't like to be the last with the news
But I do love you
But I do love you
well, gonna go to bed for real as soon as ive finished burning some songs for my darling horny bastard whose birthday happened to be yesterday. he wanted me to burn some songs for him and maybe i would give the cdr as a present. hahaha..i'm so cheapo!
marlena
I don't like to be alone at night
And I don't like to hear I'm wrong when I'm right
And I don't like to have the rain on my shoes
But I do love you
But I do love you
I don't like to see the sky painted grey
And I don't like when, nothin's goin my way
And I don't like to be the one with the blues
But I do love you
But I do love you
I love everything about the way your lovin me
The way you lay your head upon shoulder when you sleep
And I love to kiss you in the rain
I love everything you do, oh I do
And I don't like to turn the radio on
Just to find I missed my favorite song
And I don't like to be the last with the news
But I do love you
But I do love you
well, gonna go to bed for real as soon as ive finished burning some songs for my darling horny bastard whose birthday happened to be yesterday. he wanted me to burn some songs for him and maybe i would give the cdr as a present. hahaha..i'm so cheapo!
marlena
Thursday, March 04, 2004
i did some spring cleaning with my music files and deleted 15 of them in total. it may be a small number but it was tough choosing them. had to delete some cuz there's just too many of them! while i was making my picks, i came across this music file by gabrielle called sometimes. it was on the love actually soundtrack and the line goes like this:
Sometimes I love you
Sometimes I don’t
But I never ever
Never want to let you go
The road’s not easy
But the feeling’s strong
It’s the little things that keep me holding on
somehow, the lines above just fit into the mood that i'm feeling now..and the rainy weather didn't help one bit at all. it just makes the feeling worse.
anyway, went on to listen to this other song by red house painters called cabezon. was introduced to this artiste by fm and the light, happy tune is just uplifting. and this time, the rainy weather did help. it somehow adds a cooling and dreamy effect to the whole music. so you can kind of imagine yourself feeling free and running through fields of flowers with your hands flapping up and down. the weather is breezy and you just feel great!! hahaha..well, that's how i imagine it anyway...
marlena
Sometimes I love you
Sometimes I don’t
But I never ever
Never want to let you go
The road’s not easy
But the feeling’s strong
It’s the little things that keep me holding on
somehow, the lines above just fit into the mood that i'm feeling now..and the rainy weather didn't help one bit at all. it just makes the feeling worse.
anyway, went on to listen to this other song by red house painters called cabezon. was introduced to this artiste by fm and the light, happy tune is just uplifting. and this time, the rainy weather did help. it somehow adds a cooling and dreamy effect to the whole music. so you can kind of imagine yourself feeling free and running through fields of flowers with your hands flapping up and down. the weather is breezy and you just feel great!! hahaha..well, that's how i imagine it anyway...
marlena
went to bed at around 5am this morning and i absolutely didn't planned to wake up early today but my mobile just couldn't stop ringing and beeping. in the end, i decided to get my lazy ass out of the bed and start planning on things that needs to be done today. switched on the tv in my bedroom and days of our lives is on. wahhh...jensen ackles is just so cute!!
supposed to go suntanning with some friends but decided not to at the last minute. have to finish my assignments. i'm way behind my studies...sigh.
the weather is gloomy since morning. not that i mind..i love this kind of weather. it reminds me of the days when i used to stay with my friends. back then, we will plan on the things that we could do indoors since it is raining outside. we will have a movie marathon with a cup of hot milo in our hands or start cooking a storm in the kitchen. aahhh...those were the days. miss them..
the bimbotic VIP show which stars the curvaceous pamela lee anderson is on right now. Eeeeee! can't stand that show!
marlena
supposed to go suntanning with some friends but decided not to at the last minute. have to finish my assignments. i'm way behind my studies...sigh.
the weather is gloomy since morning. not that i mind..i love this kind of weather. it reminds me of the days when i used to stay with my friends. back then, we will plan on the things that we could do indoors since it is raining outside. we will have a movie marathon with a cup of hot milo in our hands or start cooking a storm in the kitchen. aahhh...those were the days. miss them..
the bimbotic VIP show which stars the curvaceous pamela lee anderson is on right now. Eeeeee! can't stand that show!
marlena
Wednesday, March 03, 2004
enjoyed myself greatly during the netball practice. it was great fun except for the runs that we had to do around the stadium. i hate running. i just couldn't understand why my sister loves athletics so much. you just run and run and run. it's so boring.
anyway, alot of bloopers here and there but i could see that everyone enjoyed themselves. the guys who were there injected some life to the game as well. and it was great to practise with the guys because they are much taller and stronger than us. we will be competing against the starbucks gang soon so we have to get our footworks, tactics and strategies in check.
had alot of falls, injuries and sprains but it's normal when you are in this kind of sport. experienced a terrible muscle pull in my leg during the game for the first time in my life and let me tell you that it's just too painful. every joints in my body are aching right now but it's all for the better. i really enjoy playing netball since i was eleven years old and i want to beat those guys from starbucks. Ooooo... i just love being competitive. hehehehe...
song playing: stereophonics singing 'maybe tomorrow' loudly in the background...
marlena
anyway, alot of bloopers here and there but i could see that everyone enjoyed themselves. the guys who were there injected some life to the game as well. and it was great to practise with the guys because they are much taller and stronger than us. we will be competing against the starbucks gang soon so we have to get our footworks, tactics and strategies in check.
had alot of falls, injuries and sprains but it's normal when you are in this kind of sport. experienced a terrible muscle pull in my leg during the game for the first time in my life and let me tell you that it's just too painful. every joints in my body are aching right now but it's all for the better. i really enjoy playing netball since i was eleven years old and i want to beat those guys from starbucks. Ooooo... i just love being competitive. hehehehe...
song playing: stereophonics singing 'maybe tomorrow' loudly in the background...
marlena
i knew it, the flu was due to the heatiness in my system. i already knew that im very prone to heatiness since i was a kid but then, my diet had been terrible recently, like deliberately adding on to the heatiness. i kept on having fried chicken cutlet, milo drinks, toasted bread with peanut butter, potato chips, fried fish nuggets, and pork floss. i guess i just have been having too much fried / heaty stuff and not balancing it up "cooling" stuff, thats why, kenna until so "chia lat". will be heading down to the provision shop later and get preserved cia xin so that i can eat with my porridge meals. erhhhhh, still feel like terrible, the headache is still lingering, eyes too painful to keep it open, and keep on breaking out in cold sweat. am drinking alot of water already but i think maybe liang teh would be better. or maybe take natalie's advice and take the tien chi powder. but first, must find the strength to walk to the Chinese medical hall. oh strength, oh strength, please give me some strength.....!!!!
vertical horizon sings "miracle"
i asked for beautiful lumps of coals for my b'dae because i think they're really beautiful....darKness-ak
vertical horizon sings "miracle"
i asked for beautiful lumps of coals for my b'dae because i think they're really beautiful....darKness-ak
Tuesday, March 02, 2004
eeerrrrrhhhhhhhhhh, the flu is killing me softly and my head is throbbing like mad, and my eyes are a super-pain just to keep it open. forget about it, im going to sleep.
darKness-ak
darKness-ak
Monday, March 01, 2004
haizzzzz, s-a-d-n-e-s-s, c-r-y, l-o-s-s, s-i-g-h, m-o-r-o-s-e, w-a-s-t-e-d, d-o-w-n-i-s-h, s-a-d-n-e-s-s, c-r-y, l-o-s-s, s-i-g-h, m-o-r-o-s-e, w-a-s-t-e-d, d-o-w-n-i-s-h, s-a-d-n-e-s-s, c-r-y, l-o-s-s, s-i-g-h, m-o-r-o-s-e, w-a-s-t-e-d, d-o-w-n-i-s-h, s-a-d-n-e-s-s, c-r-y, l-o-s-s, s-i-g-h, m-o-r-o-s-e, w-a-s-t-e-d, d-o-w-n-i-s-h, s-a-d-n-e-s-s, c-r-y, l-o-s-s, s-i-g-h, m-o-r-o-s-e, w-a-s-t-e-d, d-o-w-n-i-s-h, s-a-d-n-e-s-s, c-r-y, l-o-s-s, s-i-g-h, m-o-r-o-s-e, w-a-s-t-e-d, d-o-w-n-i-s-h, s-a-d-n-e-s-s, c-r-y, l-o-s-s, s-i-g-h, m-o-r-o-s-e, w-a-s-t-e-d, d-o-w-n-i-s-h, s-a-d-n-e-s-s, c-r-y, l-o-s-s, s-i-g-h, m-o-r-o-s-e, w-a-s-t-e-d, d-o-w-n-i-s-h, s-a-d-n-e-s-s, c-r-y, l-o-s-s, s-i-g-h, m-o-r-o-s-e, w-a-s-t-e-d, d-o-w-n-i-s-h, s-a-d-n-e-s-s, c-r-y, l-o-s-s, s-i-g-h, m-o-r-o-s-e, w-a-s-t-e-d, d-o-w-n-i-s-h, s-a-d-n-e-s-s, c-r-y, l-o-s-s, s-i-g-h, m-o-r-o-s-e, w-a-s-t-e-d, d-o-w-n-i-s-h, s-a-d-n-e-s-s, c-r-y, l-o-s-s, s-i-g-h, m-o-r-o-s-e, w-a-s-t-e-d, d-o-w-n-i-s-h, s-a-d-n-e-s-s, c-r-y, l-o-s-s, s-i-g-h, m-o-r-o-s-e, w-a-s-t-e-d, d-o-w-n-i-s-h, s-a-d-n-e-s-s, c-r-y, l-o-s-s, s-i-g-h, m-o-r-o-s-e, w-a-s-t-e-d, d-o-w-n-i-s-h, s-a-d-n-e-s-s, c-r-y, l-o-s-s, s-i-g-h, m-o-r-o-s-e, w-a-s-t-e-d, d-o-w-n-i-s-h, s-a-d-n-e-s-s, c-r-y, l-o-s-s, s-i-g-h, m-o-r-o-s-e, w-a-s-t-e-d, d-o-w-n-i-s-h, s-a-d-n-e-s-s, c-r-y, l-o-s-s, s-i-g-h, m-o-r-o-s-e, w-a-s-t-e-d, d-o-w-n-i-s-h, s-a-d-n-e-s-s, c-r-y, l-o-s-s, s-i-g-h, m-o-r-o-s-e, w-a-s-t-e-d, d-o-w-n-i-s-h, s-a-d-n-e-s-s, c-r-y, l-o-s-s, s-i-g-h, m-o-r-o-s-e, w-a-s-t-e-d, d-o-w-n-i-s-h....
splender sings "i think God can explain"
this is a full specturm of my current emo-lings....kenny
splender sings "i think God can explain"
this is a full specturm of my current emo-lings....kenny
dang dang dang, im coming down with the flu, could be the duck-version becos me ate some duck the day day before. dont feel very good. and will think some good rest at home is needed and maybe, cook up some proper food for myself instead of the usual instant noodles. i missed all the messages in my mobile last night, and waking up in the morning to find it flooded. would like to thank gracie & zakk for both their uplifting "christian" message. haiz, its true that the problems seems endles now but i'll still get on up straight to fight. in most instances, i dont miss a thing, i dont look back, i dont regret, i dont stop, i dont quit, i dont forget, i dont lose it, i dont go back to the start.
coldplay sings "the scientist"
i will show you my techniques & skills that you can't steal becos im the original AK....darKness-ak
coldplay sings "the scientist"
i will show you my techniques & skills that you can't steal becos im the original AK....darKness-ak
