Monday, November 29, 2004
Thursday, November 25, 2004
cant help falling in love with you
achtung baby, achtung
bell bottom blues
Persistance in Prayer
root beer & float
my chinese tea
the small spoon
only three wise men
budak pantai
lets go to Sardinia
mysterious ways
phil collins
taking back sunday
neon green lighter
dead mobile
blue highlighter
candy lo listens
jacky cheung sings
we are all emotional
disagree & crumbs
when i could only remember
sherene's closet
sugarflies
and livonia
and so many more
the parkhead revisited
will we go all the way??
dinner beckons
wonderful email [staringatmyshoes]
wonderful email [yourperfectmistake]
wonderful email [lovedrumtalk]
and of course, mine [kennysellsbooks]
'_______
only fools love she
nabokov in Pale Fire
take my hand
decepticons terrorize
all hail Megatron
hemingway makes death in the afternoon
take my whole life too
roy orbison is cool
some things are meant to be
Proverbs 3:5-6
PSLE results circa 1990
English B
Chinese C
Maths F
Science B
we say we read Murakami
i say try
instead
how about Lamott, Fadiman, Foer, or Fante
teach me Fandango
& a Whiter shade of pale
if only my chior will sing
Califoria Dreaming
something we can tap our feet to
and Moses will Praise too
for thy staff & thy rod they comfort me
even though i walk thru the
valley of shadow of death
again,
achtung baby, achtung
je t'aime
ich liebe dich
te amo
ik houd van u
i rest my case already
dinner beckons once more
in case you're wondering
the song is
can't help falling in love with you
darKness-ak
'_____________________ I,
wish
to have a typewriter
the old kind
manual
un-electrical one
then
i could use it to write
things about her
of how
her sandals
are lying across my bedroom floor
the way
she pouts
and the way
we read our books
i will write
of how we share
the spaces between us
and the closeness that
slips past
i will write
of how she makes the coffee for me
of how i cook her lunch
at the table,
she psuedo-stabs me
with the fork
what else
because i complained
that the coffee was too sweet
when she laughs
at my silly expressions
collapsing into a heap
i will write about that
too
she plays with my lighters
wrapping my hand with tape
doodle on my hand
with my blackmarker
all these
i will
faithfully
write with my typewriter
but
the movie is on
the curtains roll down
gradually,
everything will be still
the earth revolves around the sun
the sun revolves around us
the places
where she sits
i will remember
i will not forget
i will surely write.
darKness-aK
Monday, November 22, 2004
sorta of a mini Monday smorgasbord of what ive been reading this morning, when the time used should instead be channelled to something more appropriate.
here, we have the passing away of a very very old man. in fact, he's the oldest man alive, and now very dead. he recommends a spoonful of bee pollen & honey for longevity. what im thinking instead was i pity the people who actually harvest bee pollen for human consumption. must be tremendously tedious work.
then, the world & people in Chile learns that Bush Jr. is quite a gung-ho action hero, saving one of his secret service bodyguard. see, i told you all, voting for him was somehow correct. at least, he has saved one person already. if it was Kerry, he'd have to consult his advisors on the pros & cons before deciding on the next appropriate course of action. Bush Jr, is such a cowboy.
carrying on, we read that locust swarms have descended in southern Israel. not a good sign. maybe end of the world coming liao. or maybe it could be God's way of supplying us with more food. i heard that roasted locusts are quite nice, taste abit like chicken meat.
the next read is about Gold. i so knew it. im going to collect Gold Bars when i have the money. i'll make sure that Singapore has so much gold reserves that nobody dares to play play with our economy. come, lets all shout "Merdeka" with me now. when i die, i will donate all my Gold Bars to the Sinagpore government.
moving along, scientist in England has invented the most accurate clock. but then no point. because im still going to be late whenever i meet up da chio bu Ditz. im worst than the habitual latecomer. punctuality is not a virtue of mine.
almost lastly, its heartwarming to see the Yellow Ribbon project taking off. in the coming future when my side of the business is stable already, i'll form another company. the company will train our ex-convicts to be bouncers or bodyguards. this is not a joke. ive seriously considered it. those with potential will be seconded to The TwentyFour Group, the umbrella company of BooksActually.com
and finally, lets us all sing along to Amazing Grace. may God have pity on my puny soul since my ex-gf had just commented that hatred & vengenace will corrode my guts & eat my soul. luckily, my balls are being spared.
darKness-ak
Sunday, November 21, 2004
from Meet Joe Black, we get another explanation on Love, which we had previously learnt from another earlier post.
William Parish [perfectly played by Anthony Hopkins] to his daughter, Susan: Love is passion. Obsession. Someone you can’t live without. Someone you fall head over heels for. Find someone you can love like crazy and will love you the same way back. Listen to your heart. No sense in life without this. To make the journey without falling deeply in love, you haven’t lived a life at all. You have to try, because if you haven’t tried then you haven’t lived.
nuff said
darKness-ak
cover to cover
spirals into an abyss
to venus and back
gradually
listening to it
on a loop
save yourself
run like crazy
beautiful E.
where am i going
a light
thrown in the dark
thrown for me
ive been saved
i might
learn to love again
prick my heart
show me your pins
clasp it in my palms
drink from a cup
that didn't matter much
anyway
what else
everywhichaway
anywhichaway
again, gradually
set an expiry date
on love [mine or yours]
we can learn from Proust
on cheating on love
we can learn from Hughes
on grandeur suicides
we can always learn from Plath
choosing
muteness
lately
the machina of God
is working
overtime
on the runaway
skids
slides
& run away
everything
is blank is front of me
like a clean slate
i'll refrain from spouting
its Latin translation
afraid
it might
get
lost in translation
but
gradually
i believe
the morning will become eclectic
because
'Morning Becomes Eclectic
no worries
Captain Planet, He's our Hero, Earth, Water, Fire, Wind & Heart, with all our powers combined, i will boldly step out and rip off the world & you. dont say i didn't warn you. i could be another Mr. Ripley, at the very least, the mind of Joe Black.
darKness-ak
Friday, November 19, 2004
i will not give in. the Hatred has taken seed. ive taken back my Hatred, and my Evil is seven times greater than before. there will be no absolution for the people that had unwittingly bullied my Dad. i shall make you all seek Hell faster than you seek me. i will tear your face apart. i will come in the night while you're sleeping in your bed. i will slit your throat. i will make you bleed dry of every single drop of blood in your body. my tears will be your cup of Wormwood. i will smash your kneecaps. i will ripped off your fingernails. i will let you taste of sorrow, a sorrow more wretched than your worst fears. i will blot out your family line forever. i will take you down one by one. i will be your worst nightmare come true. believe me, you'd rather ask punishment from God rather than to face me. i will nurture my Hatred. i will let it grow, all in the honour of destroying you. this is what you get for bullying my Dad.
taken from the The Blair Witch Project ost, Laibach's "God is God"
you shall see darkness
you shall see good and evil
you shall see city walls crumble and towers fall
God is God
God is God
God
you shall see the Lord of Life and Death
you shall see Heaven in Hell
you shall be blinded by light
you shall see darkness
God is God
God is God
God
you shall see the walls crumble
walls built of pain
and above the cries of man
hear one voice saying:
i am Alfa and Omega
the begining and the end
i am the first and
i am the last
God is God
God is God
God
you shall see Hell
you shall see evil
you shall see darkness
you shall see sorrow
you shall see Death
you shall see God
darKness-ak
Wednesday, November 17, 2004
i have
taken back Hatred
meaning
dont overstep the mark
that i have chalked
because
you already know
how Evil i can be
i was already naturally evil
and i had wanted to contain
my hatred
but then
everything changed on Monday night
thats when someone bullies my Dad, my family
and recently
someone did bully my Dad
i will pay you back 7 times
i have taken back my Hatred
for Revenge
i will do evil things
if you have a son
i'll get my friends to teach him
how to take drugs
sniff glue
join secret society
and then sell him out
if you have a daughter
i'll get friends to befriend her
be her best friend
then bring her go clubbing
gain her trust
then slip GBH into her drink
and let my friends gang rape her
for you, i'll get my company to whack you
your family is innocent
but then i dont fucking care
because you caused me
to take back my hatred
bear in mind
i hated my grandmother so much
that i wasn't beside her
when she breathed her last
i was the only grandson that
did not attend her funeral
and in 1999
when i found out my mother
had an affair with a drug addict
i got my company
to first whack him
and when he recovered
i got my comapny to sell him drugs
and i called NCB
he got caught with drugs
and had a good holiday inside Changi
i also made sure
he was a dog inside Changi
i did all this
because im Evil-minded
because im fuelled by Hatred
and now, you've caused me to
take back
my Hatred
again
why did you accused my Dad
of something he had not done
i cannot stand seeing my Dad
being bullied
i dont care whether you're
young or old
im now out
to let you taste my Hatred
bear in mind
again
im the best in MindFuck
if i say im number two
no one will dare say
he/she is number one
you cant beat me
because it was my own mother
that schooled me in MindFuck
from the moment
i reach an age
when i knew how to differentiate
between right from wrong
between
what is black
what is white
and what is grey
Hatred + MindFuck
im going to make your life a living hell
and it counts
whether you had
directly or indirectly
caused my Dad to be bullied
to be accused of something
he had not fucking done
at all
i might have broken ties with my company
but i had long sold a part of myself to them
when i took the oath
when we drank from the same bowl
whn we swore upon the banner
i am under the Ji Si Lo Kuan
group lineage Ghee Ang Koon
status rank '457' [second tie]
bear in mind
always bear in mind
that i still retain the power & influence
to make your life a living hell
and i will make
your life
a living hell
Kenny Leck
Monday, November 15, 2004
woke up at 9:30am
public holls'
dad's at home
so he bought breakfast, nasi lemak
finished breakfast, accosted by the sleeping bug
so i went back to sleep at 11-ish
woke up at 3-ish, and realised that there's no lunch
okae, never mind diet
am still listening to
"jina jian" on a loop
i think migraine coming on again
decided not to use this phrase in my writing
"chew the fat"
because its too much of a Brit slang
i decided to ask God for this
Sony Ericsson Z1010
doesn't matter whether i get it or not, just feel like asking
since im at it, might as well also ask for this
Jaguar XJ
must also make the effort to go buy Kim Chi
today si peh unproductive
haven't done any work
must have caught the slack bug from da ditz
push the blame to her, make it easier on my conscience
oh yes,
i DO have a conscience, you better agree with me
finally understand wtf is universal suffrage
becos i dont think Hong Kong is going to have it soon
and was tv surfing earlier
caught Anastasia Myskina in action
i will gladly carry her tennis racquets & balls for life if she wants me to
wasted she too tall for me by at least 11cm
but then if she dont mind, i dont mind also
wah die, so early start dreaming already
my army corky buddy MSN nick now is
"No Lifer says: "Lets Elope"
later, i shall write a gentle email to him
saying: "Dream on lah, brother, like who will want to elope with you?"
okae, now
si peh sian
hope papa go buy dinner early
and i dont understand how come my English like so broken one suddenly
and lastly, i think recently there have been a lot of burglaries & thefts
i think crime rate shooting thru the roof liao
everyday i read news sure have someone kenna stunned
(stunned: ah-beng slang for kenna rob or burglared)
also better dont come and stun me
or else
darKness-ak
super sunday in fellowship with da ditz
seafood & crab subway lunch courtesy of da ditz
splurged on a cd
couldn't find the Princess D soundtrack
instead found the Fleeing by Night soundtrack
but did not buy it
saw a pretty girl reading Bridget Jones, The Edge of Reason
listened on a loop
a single song
"jian jian"
related to ditz that Iris Chang, author of Rape of Nanking shot herself
a couple of days back
suicide bid, is now dead
didn't get any work done
realised that a few of my friends are hurting / missing someone else
bought chicken cutlet for dinner
bought a can of Tie Guan Yin
whole tea leaves is superior than the ones in bags
worth the $4.80
watched Infernal Affairs II on ch62
confirms the fact that there're also good people in SS
confirms the personal fact
that if i had stayed any longer in SS, i'd be squatting in Changi now
that Man Utd kicked arses at St. James Park
slept at 3:05am
the time i switched off the table lamp
the single song
"jian jian"
still playing relentlessly on a loop
on a sleep timer of 30 minutes
darKness-ak
Saturday, November 13, 2004
i think if i do this a whole bunch of you will knit your eyebrows, and go "tsk tsk tsk" at me right. aiyah, never mind lah. i haven't done it yet, too damn broke now to do it too. and of course, i will choose a better design, you thik i so low standard one meh. anyway, i cant escape from it. i must do it. i have to do it. just do it. Master Yoda say dont try, there is no try, he wisely said, just do it. but first must get approval from my old company. come chant with me, "Tattoo, tattoo, ang kong kong, just like Lucy diamonds in the sky. Tattoo, tattoo, jip ang choo, gua liao bo bei zao. Tattoo, tattoo, le siang steady liao."
darKness-ak
Friday, November 12, 2004
'_______ but this was what i have learnt in my period spent with my head swimming in the fish's mouth.
_:_ that the Tokyo Tower is little bit more taller than the Eiffel Tower in Paris.
_:_ i like the name 'Otelli Edwards', dont ask me why.
_:_ my life is spiralling into nothingness if i slack anymore.
_:_ i need to buy the Princess D movie ost.
_:_ i'd make a damn good cracker.
_:_ that ive taken to drinking coffee without milk now.
_:_ that im still addicted to books.
_:_ i have not fallen madly in love for a long time since that deaf girl.
_:_ that im slacking in the Walk again.
_:_ that the act of writing has never left me.
_:_ that i will be getting married when im 34, dont ask me how i know.
_:_ that i will form my own secret society.
_:_ that i will bring my grandfather's ashes to rest in our ancestral hall in China, Chaoan county, Beikang village.
_:_ that ive taken to eating raw onions.
_:_ and that everything is as twisted as it can ever be but my life has never been any better & challenging as it can ever get.
_:_ that ive been cheating Google of their money by clicking on the ads myself, and they're actually recognising it. im so cunningly happy.
darKness-ak
Sunday, November 07, 2004
' __________ im sick of the hunger
im sick of the attention
im sick of being patient
im sick of withholding myself
im sick of understanding
im sick of being poor
im sick of you acting like i owe you this
im sick of being of your dog
im sick of not being able to sleep
im sick of being nice
im sick of being kind
im sick of being cordial
im sick of being calm
you have already worn out your superior welcome
i want my fight back
i want my fight back
i want my fight back
i want my fight back
' _______ i can beat you because i can jump faster than you can.
darKness-ak
Saturday, November 06, 2004
' ____________this is next station, Tin Hau.
hey, the clouds are smiling at me. the day isn't any better. i slept at 5:30am this morning and i still haven't figure out why did i went to sleep so late. ive been pissing God & Moses off the last couple of days, like not sticking closer in the walk, not trusting them, plus some other evil stuff. unknowingly, ive slipped into that comfortable zone again. being lulled into an abyss where i can no longer hear tori amos sing "cooling" to me.
im still at odds & ends. and i know that i'll be forever be caught in this battle with this selected inner demon as long as i breathe. i pray & hope that God & Moses will give me the grit to fight it whenever it surfaces in its most powerful form. Satan has got a powerful tool on me. hopefully, i'll be able to defend myself better against this terrible attrition by him. but then Satan also knows that ive my own omnipotent tool of attrition against him. if im worrying, he had better start pushing the panic buttons too. im not going to go down without first plucking off all his arse hairs, strand by strand, and then rubbing salt into those opened pores.
' _________ must fight Satan.
darKness-ak
Thursday, November 04, 2004
hey Stoner Girl.......
my house is flooded because of all the 7ups n Sprites. yes, its pouring like crazy all because of your i-d-e-r-t phrase:
_________________' all your fault
darKness-ak
Monday, November 01, 2004
this is an extract from Louis de Bernières's 'Captain Corelli's Mandolin', and i thought it gave a very sensible interpretation of L-O-V-E. one of the few emotions that we grapple with great effort, and equalled up with a fair amount of self-indulgence.
__________ : From Dr. Iannis to his daughter, Pelagia: When you fall in love, it is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake, and then it subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots are become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the desire to mate every second of the day. It is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every part of your body. No... don't blush. I am telling you some truths. For that is just being in love; which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over, when being in love has burned away. Doesn't sound very exciting, does it? But it is!
'____________ strip away everything and what is left? just her.
darKness-ak
Dominant ~ 1 : commanding, controlling, or prevailing over all others; 2 : overlooking and commanding from a superior position
Predominant ~ 1 : having superior strength, influence, or authority; 2 : being most frequent or common
Predominant will the guiding word to best describe my Migraine attacks. it started suddenly earlier at 10am in the morning, forcing me to lie in bed till 4pm. first of all, it destroys my day, killing all he time i need for work. secondly, it physically saps away all my strength for the entire day. thirdly, the cocktail of painkillers is not very good for my body. fourthly, i'd have prefer some other sort of physical pain than this.
i hate migraine and i hope it doesn't hate me back.
__________on to a brighter topic. well, i have this beautiful friend who had just described to me the state of the weather. for those unaware, its freaking raining cats & dogs everywhere. now thats the usual expression rite, Cats & Dogs?? then this beautiful friend of mine described it as 7ups n Sprites like huh rite??? so i said why not Sarsi or Sinalco?? then she replied Sarsi is black in colour thus it doesn't match the colour of rain. but as for 7up n Sprite, it matches the colour of rain being translucent. im not sure whether i should laugh or should i be happy with her for distracting me away from my migraine pain. she is damn LAME.
darKness-ak
