Sunday, January 30, 2005
Sunday morning
agreeable sleep
10:57am
bob dylan said that
"see the jungle when
it is wet with rain"
i'd agree too
and i love practical jokes
from da Dood
makes my life miserable but exciting
if i could find an original bus-stop shelter,
i will just live there an entire day (preferably daytime)
with a camera, just in case
and look at the moving world outside
and hopefully, i dont get burnt by the Singaporean February sun.
darKness-ak
Saturday, January 29, 2005
Saturday morning
10:32am
drowning in my ABCs
memorising,
what is 2 x 2 =
what is 4 x 4 =
and
drawing a hopskotch
in e middle of e road
that was quite qool
the coffee was good
the music is likable
"for it is by grace you
have been saved, through faith
- and this not from yourselves,
it is the gift of God - not by
works, so that no one can boast.
for we are God's workmanship,
created in Christ Jesus to do
good works, which God prepared
in advance for us to do."
Ephesians 2:8-10
insomnia started @ 4:35am
insomnia ended @ 6:25am [i think so]
will i be reeling from too little sleep??
i dont think so.
yesterday
and i stole a Number #4,
Number #4, he/she is sitting
proudly on my desk.
i want to steal the letter 'K' too
yesterday
bought quite abit of nice ol' papers with biscuitas girl
shall go buy more
its a secret shop,
with a secret location,
shall not tell you where
darKness-ak
Thursday, January 27, 2005
Thursday deadnight morning
2:15am
Sleep has left the building
"im not a perfect person
i just wanted you to know
ive a found reason to change
a reason to start all over new
a reason for all that i do
and the reason is you
and the reason is you"
the blueberry still connects
if i was Buzz LightYear,
_______________"To Infinity
______________________and Beyond, and some more"
darKness-ak
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
Wednesday lateness morning
woke up late
but infused with terribly terribly good coffee
11:04am
"i came,
i saw,
i conquered."
jay z + linkin park, "numb/encore" looped
"dont fight me and I wont fight you
that was what God said to me this morning"
in lieu of break of beats
Super-Mighty-Day+Yesterday, that is
PA Ditz & la petite fille Karen
with powers of three combined
the Goliaths were tamed
do i hear chants of,
"Greenka, Greenka, Greenka"
and Green Robbers, they shall be
lunch was Blessed
turned out okae
it was me 1st time cooking the dish
resembling super-fast-fat-glorious-food
simultaneously,
a delugue of Books
human arms liken to a shelving machine
end of the Victory War
karen & i headed down
for Thaipusam
for snaps & more snaps
[she calls it peektures]
e Kavadi journey
e temple itself
e people & their fervency
e way they infused their gods into their blood & literally into their lives
will put half of us Christians, maybe more, to daily shame
just ask this simple question
when da Dood asks you,
"why should I let you in?"
you & i had better hoped we dont need to answer that question
there is no 50:50
there is no lifeline
there is no audience help
because
whatever we do,
everything has to be accountable, to Him
because
whatever we do
everything thru Him
with the barefooted experience
of Thaipusam in us,
we walked around
admiring stuff
and the things that i want
always carry "Rip-Me-Off" price tags
last stop, (Why Bothers)
admiring of books never stops
she & i shall learn bookbinding
gotta make some beautiful notebooks
to be given away
for friends
for customers
to be given away, free, i hope
so long day
ends,
11:00pm, almost to the dot
tired legs & feets
slept early
woke up late
and i woke up,
telling meself that
i'll build her a Carousel.
darKness-ak
Monday, January 24, 2005
Monday morning
9:57am
Next Try Please
but there is no 'Try'
only 'Do', no such thing as 'Try'
globe, "try this shoot", techno loops
"its usually true when they say,
one mountain cannot have two tigers,
that much i have learnt"
one by one,
two by two,
three by three,
like a cat-like thief,
im falling for you.
the Goliaths have been transformed into my Army of Green Darkness
the battle is already half-won when one's Army is that Green
soon you shall hear chants of 'Greenka, Greenka, Greenka, Greenka'
okae, basically broke & broke some more the bank [thank God for PA Ditz] to outfit my Goliath Army in a state of unified Greenka Greeness. and not to forget the amount of spray paint i inhaled, and it was more than enough to make my boogers turn green. want some?? at the end, Thanqoools to da Dood for that amount of strength & concentration & Helping Hand, and Thanqoools to PA Ditz for the endless planning & buying so far. to kinda of paraphrase her, "There's still so much Buying to be done."
darKness-ak
Sunday, January 23, 2005
at the edge of falling for you
Sunny Sunday morning
at 9:40am
Goliaths wants to be sprayed Green
my boogers are Green & Grey
what, you dont dig your own boogers !!
delightful Coffee is back
in the strongest style possible
linkin park + jay z, "numb/encore", loop da loop
when i only want to be a Grinch
da Dood is not giving me a clear sign yet
or has He already ??
shall try to ponder while painting my lungs Green
they do have a point when they say,
"what the hell are you waiting for ?"
"what the hell are you waiting for ?"
"what the hell are you waiting for ?"
"what the hell are you waiting for ?"
when time freezes
@ 9:40am
this requires some hardcore thinking
will i get caught in the undertow again if i take it up ??
God is kinda of real silent on this issue
shall do my once in every 10,000days QT to find a compass
to see if ive found the ability to handle
two of the biggest things in my life,
or am i just still a Padawan Apprentice ??
you know, i gotta be dead sure cos'
i dont want to be Darth Vader
even though he has a really qoool mask
and to die-for powers,
and he got to get lucky with natalie portman.
and bright Shouts to PA Ditz for getting me some really qool stuff;
nice card with a strong message
psychedelic mousepad
mini Gatsby wax - travel edition
fresh new blue/black pinches on me arm
cant live without you, can i ??
darKness-ak
Saturday, January 22, 2005
Saturday morning
ran out of coffee
arghhhhhhhhhhhhhh
how could that have happened
im going into my corner to be
a hardcore grouch, so bugger off
9:27am
"i got 99 problems
and you're only one of them,
so dont you ever think that
this'll make you important to me"
its good to hear when someone says,
"every second that i waste
is more than i can take"
9:32am
its good to hear to someone says,
"dont let your love lose to time"
am meeting PA Ditz later to help her bomb SarHub, a classic case of 'Hell have no Fury for a Woman Scorned'. then heading down to SAM for the full Russell Wong exhibition. [oh yes, karen you're reading this right. the one where we saw at Tyler wasn't the full exhibit. so im thinking we should head on down to SAM later in the week or next week if you're free] though right now, im thinking of "Dua-ing" my own PA Ditz on the jaunt to SAM because i really do need to get started on the spray-painting of the Goliaths. the urgent need to spray paint today & tomorrow [sunday] is because i need to assemble them on Tuesday. on Monday i shouldn't be doing any hardcore spray-painting, just some touch-up here & there, so that it could dry & set properly. and on Sunday night, im supposed to meet miE, thus i think i'll just die of exhaustion. besides helping PA Ditz bomb SarHub, im supposed to go buy cans & cans & more cans of Green Colour spray. again, will be borrowing the money from PA Ditz before returning it to her on the 25th. yes, yes, 25ths are my money-days. so if you ever want to con me, come after the 25th, provided i dont con you first. okae, laters. today got no morning coffee so super grouchy. the SarHub people better not give me a dirty look or else i'll do more than bomb that place, i promise. after all i didn't earn my rank of 248 for nothing.
darKness-ak
Friday, January 21, 2005
Friday morning
9:54am
good strong coffee
good late-night speaks with PA Ditz
good deep sleep
good working day ahead
"had always loved to stare at the clouds
its re-assuring to see them slowly move pass
to see them casting moving shadows below
knowing that gravity wont pull them down
making funny faces to tease little kids
and how they seem to be the Kings & Queens of Wanderlust"
embrace, "gravity", looped
i wont ask for it, God
i wont ask You to give it to me
hungry for Breakfast, which starts with the letter 'B'
lately, there have been more letter 'Bs' added into my life.
longstanding 'B', financially Broke
even longstanding 'B', constantly Blessed & Blessings by da Dood
a frequent occurence 'B', Busy like until cannot-make-it
daily 'B', me Blogging nonsense
sometimes 'B', best way to cut off an online chat, BB [not referring to the 14 pple in my safe list, i'd always have time for you bunch of headcases]
spur of a moment 'B', Hokkien-style, k-n-n C??? C??? Bye
i was born with this 'B', Balls, you just gotta have Balls
lifelong 'B', Bestest friends like you
my 'B' stance towards idiots like you, Lim Lau Peh Bo Chap
i was born with this 'B' too, me is Birdbrain
im in Love these 'Bs', the 10,001 Books
and i made up this 'B', i call her Biscuitas
and she gave me this 'B', she said Blindness
and i still maintain the 'B', she's Lemon Barley Biscuitas
:p
so,
this morning's session has been brought to you by the letter 'B'.
darKness-ak
Thursday, January 20, 2005
as promised, these are the pictures of the five dismantled & defeated Goliaths. do take note they stood at 7ft [ard 210cm] before they were soundly defeated by me, not forgetting that da Dood had helped of course. soon i shall disfigure them [as described by silly karen] into Green Robbers, yes, i shall christian them as 'Green Robbers', and i shall hold dominion over them, in return thy'll serve me & my book subjects for the rest of their metallic lives.
they were taller & stronger but alas, i had trickery & da Dood on my side, taking them apart with just a size-11 spanner.
in shattered pieces, i made them lay. setting a old dusty lamp over them, a yoke of eternal slavery
in my fanatic slaughter & carnage, they shudder at the slightest utterance of my presence, standing in absolute attention
its Goliaths' innards were battlefield souvenirs, neatly stacked in stacks for all to see & marvel & fear
at the end of the battle, the story was done, in time the legend will be one where many will wistfully recount, "It was the one Leg that ruled them all"
darKness-ak
Thursday late morning
very late morning
11:03am
its both sunny & cold
the weather should really make up its mind
"da Dood speeded up the transport
of the five Goliaths instead of the
planned next week delivery, and He
gave me strength to move it back in solo mode."
and i will always remember,
the time on the clock
when we realised it was that late
and this walk that we shared together
oh yes, the five Goliaths have finally arrived. took all the strength in this small small frame of mine to get it back, because dad wasn't able to con anyone into helping me to move them. anyway, am glad & thankful that its here earlier, very much earlier than expected. my dad usually delay such stuff so imagine my surprise when he called me in the late morning yesterday, saying that he had arranged transportation minus labourers already. so strike-1, thanqool to me Papa & the other Papa up there. and i also have to ask da Dood to give me funds to buy Green Colour Spray Paint. ahahahha, and i think i know where the moolah is going to come from but i dont want to tell you. i will take pictures of the dismantled & defeated Goliaths and post it up later. in the meantime, i'll have to wipe it down, make sure its clean so that the spray painting wont be affected. and today, ive decided to stay at home, rest abit more of that sore bones & muscles, recover the strength needed for next week. yes, next week should be quite busy, especially after the Goliaths have been re-assembled. thats when i need to to shelf & alpha the books, and most importantly, to continue sandpapering & wrapping the books, which will be one farking major task by itself. its enough to kill me so dont ask me to elaborate how so.
and yes, you're the first person to have literally stop breathing, reading what i had wrote in nineteenseventyeight. you are the first. you are the first. i'll always remember that.
darKness-ak
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
dreams of sunny noons, of you,
stuffed fox makes a friend
Wednesday morning
earlier than earlier,
the city is taking a holiday
at 5:42am
its brilliantly cold,
i wonder are any of my friends awake at this time too??
stina nordenstam, soon after christmas, loops
i wonder what is keeping me up
soon, just maybe soon,
the reason for me to give up my ciggies
has finally arrived.
spent a thoroughly enjoyable laughs & laughs day with both Rachel & Karen. and we must have walked quite abit for my feet to feel slightly sore after i got home. poor Rachel, she had lost her 2-day-old spanking new K700i before she met us in the afternoon, so during sporadic moments of the day, Karen & i will experience her outbursts of Heaven & Earth curses on the person that had taken her mobile. i pity the poor creature, the one that took the phone, not her. we caught an Indian arts exhibition at the one of the galleries in MITA. we also caught Russell Wong's exhibition over at the Tyler Print Institute. and i think we agreed that his daily life shots were much better than his commercialised ones. we needed to buy an organiser for Gerri to help her coordinate my activities related to the biz since she has agreed to be my 2nd PA. so we up ended searching Kinokuniya, Why Bothers, and finally ended up at Prints, Centerpoint. bought Gerri an organiser that is slightly similar to what Rachel has, theirs being big medium-size ones, while my is still the "koo-niang" small green one. i also bought two lovely cards for them but now, i'll have to rack me brains on what i should be writing inside. i also finally know that the store that i pass so often is known as LifeBaby, and i also think that ive found a fellow non-harmful innocent stunner in the form of Karen, imagine my non-surprise when shown of her LifeBaby stickers. and i think we ate far to much gyozas for one day. and yay, i bought a Klimt postcard-book.
* and Karen, do i smell 5-7-5s in you too??
darKness-ak
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
Tuesday radiation morning
8:38am,
and im absorbing radiation from my beloved computer
like where else would i be
"so breathe in for luck
so breathe in so deep
maybe tonight, the world will just rapture for you & me."
dashboard confessionals, "hands down", loops & loops
i want to read Cervantes's "Don Quixote"
anyone up for this book challenge with me, and i'll sponsor the book FREE.
but first, you must tell why you want to read Don Quixote in not more than 24 words, in an email to me at kennysellsbooks@gmail.com. there'll be 4 FREE copies up for grabs, all winners will be selected on a bias basis, by me, and do take note that the winners' names will be published on this blog, so that they can be held accountable to finish reading the brick-chunk of a book, known as Cervantes's "Don Quixote". and if you dont finish reading the book, i'll wield the brick-chunk of a book on your head.
and im running out of sour cream & onion chips
gotta stop eating them for breakfast
and for reasons unknown to me yet,
my coffee has sucked for the 2nd straight day running.
and it'll be my first time taking the NE-mrt lines, down to clark quay later,
alright, thats kinda of a loser thing,
but hey, its going to be a virginal experience as i'll be taking a train operated by DelgroComfort instead of SMRT. i feel like im betraying SMRT for some weird reason. hope i dont get lost while changing tracks.
okays, enough nonsense from me for one morning.
and im still smirking, even in my sleep, that i managed to slew five metal Goliaths all by myself. obviously, this is the dire workings of thy Meanie heart machina.
"won't you kiss me, so that i'll die happy"
darKness-ak
Monday, January 17, 2005
Monday Monday morning
the morning glow & the dreamy rain mixes
da Dood's method of telling me its a good day
the magnetic fields, "i die", looped
my coffee sucks
too little sugar
too acidic tasting
and i ate sour cream & onion chips for breakfast :p
its Monday already, i should be in love, shouldn't i??
today, im one day older, and so are YOU.
shall go dismantle five Goliath-size metal book shelves
shall go admire MY wooden Dewey System cabinet
shall decide if i want the small metal Dewey System cabinet too
there are more work & work & works
must be more organised & organised
thus da Dood blessed me with Rachel & Gerri
and for daily silly laughs, there's Epitome of Sweetness
okae this is what i will do
get organised some more, if im not already quite organised,
and get more work & more work done.
trust in Him more, for he has really provided wonderfully
because everything thru Him, though He likes to crack
his wicked style of Practical Jokes on me, at times.
and i will listen to The Magnetic Fields, especially "I Die"
because i sincerely think its a Love Song
all by one single sentence of its lyrics
"I die when you walk by"
darKness-aK
Sunday, January 16, 2005
Sunday late morning
managed to sleep-in till 9:00am exactly
today must go try me luck at 4D
since i managed to wake up late.
jewel, "stand", loopiness
if i liken my days as a continuing thread,
i'd say that da Dood has interwoven Himself
greatly in the thread. you might say
im making things up so that i could preach or
every single fucking incident also attribute to God,
but hey, i like to attribute every single fucking incident
to Him, cannot is it?? you Bey Song, call police lah!!
let me tell you, my Lim Lau Peh's Lau Peh is the #1 God"
so like i said, if my days were a thread, i see His work in it. okae, sometimes, i get really irritated with Him for spoiling my evil plans but hey, He has practically saved my skin & preserved my life on numerous occasions too so i dont think i should quibble too much. anyway, all thanks to Him, Shereen found out that MPH was holding their warehse sale, which i had no idea about since it was published in the papers, and i only read the online version of it. so Shereen [thanqoool, my Thumbelina friend] informed me towards evening time yesterday, thus my PA & i rushed down in spite of our really weak weak pockets. but still da Dood provides, in the form of my PA, da Ditz for having slighty more fluid resources. i gave $74.00 to the MPH cashier, an amount that i'll be returning to my PA when i get my AngBao$$$$ next month. but undoubtedly, the books bought are considered really good buys from the viewpoint of the biz. and of course, thanqool to PA for sacrificing her time & energy for ceaselessly helping me, even though skool has started.
and again, da Dood was working his Magik again, with the confirmation that Gerri will be my 2nd PA, so i have 2 PAs from now till mid July, when da Ditz flys off for her SEP, then Gerri will be the Lone Ranger PA, i'll be the sidekick, Tonto, until the da Ditz comes back 4ish months later. obviously, da Ditz & Gerri are blessing from Him, in the form of PAs. of course, ive got to mention that He had blessed me with Elisa & silly sweet Karen as the faces for the biz. and i can never forget Ann & Lai, for being a terrific combo, resulting in work-results that has warmed the cockles of my awful black heart.
oh yah, da Dood must be kinda of working his Magik overtime because last night, Manchester United won their away game against LiverFools, while ARSEnal lost their game. and im certain that Palesea will get their come-uppance soon enough too. ahahhahaha, ARSEnal like cannot make it liao. my bookies friends must be laughing all the way to the bank this morning. its times like this when i wish i was a bookie again but of course, God will cut off my balls if i ever dare to do it again.
i want to blog more about Karen & Rachel kinda of bumping into each other on the bus, and all the many other things that had happened the day before. but if i do, i will never be able to find enough time to finish up work leftover from yesterday, and not to mention that i seriously need to go poo poo & wee wee.
darKness-ak
Saturday, January 15, 2005
Saturday morning
with the faintest & faintest of ideas
awake at 8:00am
but i just want to hide under the blankets
for that little while more,
and sleep for that little while more,
silverchair, "without you", loops
this song dispenses with some sensible advice
like,
"you brighten my life like a polystyrene hat"
sensibility is good too
instead of 24/7 craziness
had a damn tiring day yesterday, and i blamed it partly on the energy-sapping weather. much to my dismay, i think we have just lost the cooling December wet rainy days. mahjong at Daphne's place was good though it was tad too short a session for it to be totally invigorating. i realised that if i was playing for money, i'd be laughing my way to the bank now. after mahjong, we adjourned to my PA's place to watch the dvds that Silly Karen had lent me, and finally, i have managed to re-watch The Scent of a Green Papaya, a Viet film that i had watched when i was taking Viet as my foreign lang in poly. echoing what Karen had said, the storyline wasn't totally fleshed out, sometimes fragmented but the visuals & entire mood carrying the film was excellent & almost consistent respectively. and from watching the film alone, and having caught another Viet film before, Three Seasons, i so want to go to Vietnam. headed home after one flick because we were just to pooped to continue with Love Me If You Dare. came home, tweaked my work schedule abit, and spent the rest of the night yakking away with Silly Karen on msn. and ive finally found one method to torture her, which is to bring her to the Zoo, and tricked her into the chimpanzee enclosure, there'll be so much fun & monkey madness. *muahahhaha*
alrighty, more work has been planned with my PA. the work just keeps on piling up but im so damn senselessly gung-ho, wanting even more work. obviously da Dood has been supplying a steady stream of energy, strength, and abit of brain power. and though not yet confirmed, i might have gotten another PA, in the form of Gerri, partly to stand in for da Ditz's when she'll be away for 4 months++ for her SEP, and i seriously think that i do need 2 Official but Unpaid PAs to assist me in this Mountain called Work. alrighty again, shall try to do some work instead of slacking before heading down to church to meet the five Goliaths, all in-animate objects of Metal & Steel.
"the semblance of not knowing at all might actually be bliss."
darKness-ak
Friday, January 14, 2005
Friday morning....
one that is sunny
one that is bright
one that is fresh
9:05am . . . . . . .
i will bring you my Compendium
of polystyrene hats, if you will
show me your life.
silverchair, "without you", loop da loop
many, O Dood, my Dood,
are the wonders you have done.
the things you planned for us
no one can recount to you;
were i to speak and tell of them,
they would be too many to declare.
- Psalm 40:5
da Dood has provided endlessly. imagine im not working but He has provided in ways unimaginable. upcoming payments are the stickers, namecards & badgemaker, and ive no idea where im going to get the cash but yes, i shall leave it to Him, well almost. i know ive my handful of sneaky detractors because they cant accept all the ol' good things that are taking place around me. but how would they know when they dont even smile anymore? doesn't smiling to make another person's day, the best thing that one can ever do? ultimately, whether you believe in da Dood like me or not, we should just love each other, instead of wanting to tear each other apart.
darKness-ak
Thursday, January 13, 2005
Thursday morning daylight
slept @ 2:00ish am
awake @ 8:00am exact
all thanks to da Dood for all the
persistent strength given to me.
stina nordenstam, "soon after christmas", loops
"lets go watch the world together,
why dont we?"
a day earlier while online with a friend, she told me she was heartbroken again, and shall again not believe in love anymore. and obviously, she chose the wrong person to tell me that she doesn't believe in that LOVE concept. because i actually believe in it. whether its love between friends, gfs & bfs, wives & husbands, between family members, or between pets, i believe in it. and i still believe in it even though i know how much terribly painful it can get when someone you love deeply leaves or lets you down. when love hurts, it hurts so freaking bad that i think it just rips right thru you. nothing stops it, nothing can, except when you decide to pick yourself up. so why dont you try to force yourself, and for once, pick youself up?? there are worse things that happens to other people all the time. remember, what i always use to say, "as your friend, i can hold up the sky for you but you have to get up straight to fight too." and you know why i believe in Love? its because of this.
Kid & Lucy were sec sch mates but in different classes, just next door of each other. and though they were in different classes, somehow they still managed to get together. and at that age, love usually begins at infatuation. and theirs, like many others, was a shortlived infatuation, with no calls of who is to blame when the curtains came down. it started & ended as simply as it should have been. Lucy left school earlier than Kid by a year, but in Kid's heart, she'd always have a special place for a reason that he cant even understand. and the years just skipped past, broken by intermission of annual class gatherings but Lucy was never there because it seems like everyone had lost contact with her. no one knew what she did or went to after she had left school. no one ever recalled bumping into her on the streets as one might have with old classmates. to Kid, he missed her but not in the manner of wanting to love her again, rather he & everyone else just wanted to know how she's getting on. and while cleaning thru his room one afternoon, he came across her residential phone number scribbled in one of his books. must be the time when he first asked for her number thru another friend, and writing it into his book for the lack of paper. without hesitation, he dialled the number that somehow still feels so familiar. the dialling tone sounded, meaning the number was still in use, and then a lady answered.
"Hello, may I speak to Lucy, please?
I'm sorry but you said you are looking for?
Oh I'm so sorry, I'm looking for Lucy Koh but I might have gotten the wrong number.
Erhmm, may I know why are you looking for her?
I'm her old classmate from sec sch, and found her number today, and decided to give her a call to see how she is doing.
Oh, okay. I'm Lucy's mother, and you are?
You can call me Kid.
Kid, I'm so sorry to inform you this but Lucy had passed on 4 years back in a car accident.
I'm so sorry that you have to hear this from me.
for Kid, he just held on to his phone. nothing else matters anymore, except maybe for love, a love that he has loved before, and he will learn to cherish it even more, the next time it comes around.
darKness-aK
Thursday midnight morning
01:35am
books books books
endless books
endless books
i can built a house of books for you
simon & garfunkel, "i am a rock", looped
"i have my books & poetry to protect me"
"strike in me a flame, Lord, this is my heart's desire"
"when im made to trust & obey"
silly Karen came over to my place today or should i say, the day before since its already Thursday early morning now. cooked the lunch as promised, and am quite surprised with myself, that my cooking seems to have improved that little bit. hopefully, she thinks the same too. alas, i forgot to add in rat poison due to my aging & failing memory. the day was spent poring over books, more books, magazines, and more magazines, good music in the background, sharing laughs, sharing stories, sharing ideas, and lotsa of laughs again. and gotta to say that her short film project for skool was excellent. "girl, you gotta have more confidence in yourself & the things that you produced. yes, its that good, believe me." and i realised one thing about this girl. once she's totally engrossed with her books or zines, she can totally ignore the need to eat or drink. she's like practically eating thru books. :) take my hat off her. anyway, wasted that my computer couldn't play the dvds she had brought along. would've been really superb if i could catch Scent of a Green Papaya but then no downs, because Karen has lent the dvd to me, and most probably will be heading down to da Ditz's place soon to watch it. oake, had a super long day but ultimately, a well-spent day with McPepper Karen. and yes, i realsied im coming out with alot of nicks for her. must be this bad habit of mine, wanting to tease her whenever i can. *ahahhahah*.
oh yah, on the other hand, sad news, because my PA will be flying off for her student exchange program in July. so sad, like losing a right hand, nobody to clear all my shit work for me. *ahahhahah* anyway, will be praying to da Dood to take care da Ditz for me. keep her safe, keep her strong, and keep her fat. *muahahhaha* I WILL MISS YOU RACHEL CHEE KA MIN. alrighty, super long days ahead of me on both Thursday & Friday. im so going to die so i need an endless supply of coffee please. lay the thick thick coffee on me siah!!!!
darKness-ak
Tuesday, January 11, 2005
Tuesday evening
everywhichaway @ 10:54pm
at age fifteen
i used to stare at the sun for kicks
i used to think i was invincible
i used to think i was a big-farking hero
i used to think nothing could touch me
that was until he died in my place.
_______ '
kidneythieves, "before i'm dead", its looped
"dawn eats dawn, night consumes night"
McPepper Karen coming over tomorrow to pick up her library purchases, which will give me the chance to tease her endlessly since i controlled myself perfectly on Sunday. anyway, will be cooking lunch for her too, but will be a better lunch for her than my PA, da Ditz. because that day, PA was sick so i needed to cook healthy food but tomorrow will be sinful foody galore. *ahahhaha* main course again will be Aglio e Olio pasta, then there will be two side dishes, one being, fresh asparagus wrapped in bacon strips sauteed, and served with mozarella toppings. other being, cheese-infused suasages with caramelized onion slices, sprinkled with red pepper flakes. okae should be that much eats for tomorrow, if i cook anymore, like lets say, a dessert, i think we will just die from food overdoes. oh of course, must buy Pringles Pizza-Licious chips for her too.
darKness-ak
Tuesday sunny cold morning
if i could have a breakfast of
Green Eggs and Ham
plus plus Coffeeeee
goo goo dolls, "iris", intermission
9:36am
"when He said i could hold up the sky,
what He really meant was,
i will carry your tiredness
i will carry your fears"
me Mr. Terrapin has fallen ill since the day before, vomitting all the food pellets that i had fed him yesterday. last night, he looks to be in a pretty bad shape, not really moving much, silent & still, which is quite unlike him, because he'd usually splash around in his water, doing his solo synchronised movements in tandem to whatever music i was playing. so i logged off early last night, and just kinda of sat there looking at him. alright, looking at him may not help at all but i had already lost a Junior Terrapin when i moved in here back in july 03', and i dont want to lose him too. and with solid prayers from da Ditz & meself, and regards from McPepper Karen, he seems to be doing better this morning. at the very least, he's moving more. he tried to bite off my fingers when i changed his water, which is a good sign of him being either healthy-grumpy or healthy-pissed-off. Mr. Terrapin is always in a pepertual grumpy mood when he's at his normal self. hopefully & prayerfully that he is on the mend, because i need Mr. Terrapin to be around when everything takes off under da Dood's direction & blessing, for i had promised to build him this luxurious pond condominium for him when i get my own place.
darKness-ak
Monday, January 10, 2005
Monday morning
on auto-mode _______ 8:30am
typical sleep patterns
almost evolving into suicide,
that could be patented for future generations
are we sleeping lesser??
The Cure, "Friday. I'm In Love", infinite loop
*dressed up to the eyes
it's a wonderful surprise
to see your shoes and your spirits rise
throwing out your frown
and just smiling at the sound
and as sleek as a shriek
spinning round and round
always take a big bite
it's such a gorgeous sight
to see you in the middle of the night
you can never get enough
enough of this stuff
it's friday
im in love*
if saturday at the NLB sale with my PA was super, then Sunday's NLB sale day-out with Karen was Super-Duper, with Super Grover strength. we reached the human traffic jam behemoth at 2:30, and we gloriously battled there till 6:00. YES, we stayed that long, kept on discovering more books to buy, forgetting to drink water & have toilet breaks, and even stopped breathing intermittently when we laid our hands on a good book. basically, Karen summed it up best, "its tiring but i dont want to stop." she & i combined had bought 31 kilograms of books & zines. that is like 3 quarts of my weight. and i didn't even break the $50.00 level because NLB started to LELONG LELONG their books from 1 for $2.00 to 2 for $1.00. and when that was announced, im dead certain that it whipped the familial crowd into a buying frenzy, i call it the Singapore Buying Spirit, and the best moment to shout "Merdeka, Merdeka, Singapore!!!!" as usual, i bought the most, and with God's annointed favour, He temporarily gave me the ability to spot the books i needed, and Karen developed that keen eye too, and kept on tempting me with advice such as "2 for $1.00, buy lah." everyone kept staring at us, as we dragged out enormous plastic bag of purchases from one booth to another, all with the aim of rummaging for more books. it was books, books, books, like outright books overdoes. you could just bury me in books and i'll still die happy, and i very well suspect, it might be the same of silly Karen too.
*i dont care if monday's black
Tuesday wednesday heart attack
Thursday never looking back
it's friday im in love*
and yes, a good piece of advice for anyone who has only 2 hands. never attempt to talk on the mobile, carry a book, and smoke a ciggie at the same time. because stoopid ol' me, basically & literally stubbed out my ciggie into my arm when i tried to act like a octopus. burnt flesh smelt nice but not when it happens to me.
darKness-ak
Sunday, January 09, 2005
Sunday late morning
managed kinda to sleep-in till
9:00ish
travis, mark, and tom, "down", loop da loop
Kafka says he will built me a Bookstore,
while Orwell & Nabokov says they will
man the counter, and Wharton says she'll do the accounts.
da Dood says:
"Rise and Shine, and He shall provide
because everything thru Him & Him only."
*intermission*
"this awkward silence makes me crazy,
and i will kiss you if you let me"
had a super long day but thoroughly fun-fulfilling with da Ditz yesterday. we started with the NLB Annual sale, with me buying at least 12 hardbacks, barely breaking $30.00 until i added two packs of zines, specifically Wired & Book magazines. could feel God's favour upon us as He allowed us to constantly spot the books i need, and most importantly, the Book magazine publication. and thanqoooOool to my PA [da Ditz] for getting lunch to me while i sat down, allowing me to enjoy that crisp cold weather & space. she needed to get a cream top for her CNY wears, so we ended hoping around stores & boutiques in the entire town looking for one but to no avail. she must've tried like 7 - 8 pieces of tops but no such luck. but anyhow, bought her a Mango top, while she got another one for herself, and also a skirt from somewhere else. overall, like i said, super good day. and while at Borders, a markdown copy of "Nabokov's Butterflies" caught my eye, and i knew immediately that i should get it for silly Karen. i knew she'd love it but still i called to check with her. anyway, will be meeting Karen later for my 2nd trip into this human traffic jam behemoth, otherwise known as the NLB Annual Sale. will be controlling my splurgy hands today but do you think that is even possible. and of course, if Karen has time to spare, we shall head on down to Books Galore, been ages since i paid a visit to uncle Ronny. and yes, obviously, another super fun day ahead, what with the books shopping, and the accompaniment of silly Karen. we are so going to be so silly today.
p.s thaqoooOool to da Dood for providing financial ability, thanqooOool for sending da Ditz [besides being an excellent PA, she has built me up in me daily walk], and also thanqoooOoool for a High-5 friend in silly Karen.
darKness-ak
Saturday, January 08, 2005
Saturday morning
slept at 3:00am exactly
woke up at 8:00ish
and writing at 9:10am
staind, so far away, looped
but i got a call at 4:30ish in the morning
asking me to make a decison on behalf for someone else
at 4:30am, i was wondering when did i start living someone else's life?
what the equal greatness of FUCK is this!!!!
at age 15 i had did all the wrong things
i was fierce, very very fierce
so fierce that ive been given the gift of regrets
so i will not make that same decision that i had made 11 years ago.
for not one day have passed that ive regretted bitterly.
[Yousheng, if you're able to read this (which i know you cant,
please understand i really cant make that decision for you
dont make that mistake again, because i know you carry that
same regrets that we had both committed from that long time back]
"all the mistakes that one could make
we have almost paid them back in full"
darKness-ak
Friday, January 07, 2005
in the beginning, there were two mad kias, one was literally insane in the memebrane, the Conqueror of all, the tyrannical Queen Mother of all her mundane citizens, while the other was faux pas hero in red t-shirt, on his holiday trip, posing with the Queen Mother....
first there was the feather duster, then came the vacuum cleaner, after that, the world was thought to be a much safer & cleaner place but....
that was when she decided that it wasn't good enough...
she demanded we built structures & more structures in honour of her presence, and so....
we toiled, we built, we heaved, we hoed...
and if it wasn't enough, she demanded more still, more super structures to celebrate her existence...
soon the entire earth was an organised smattering of structures devoted to her, there were no more trees, no more rivers, no more sunlight, desolation has arrived...
then one day came the faux pas hero in red t-shirt, with a gesture of open arms, he said we shall dig our way to freedom....
and so before we started digging, faux pas hero in red t-shirt wanted to do some stylo mylo kookoo looloo posing first, for his portfolio of publicity shots, and he requested pixs of him thinking [like as though he had brains]....
what a birdbrain, posing again, but the rest of us, we dig, and we dig, we dig with whatever cutlery we had left, spoons, forks, tea spoons, butter knives, we just kept on digging to be free of the Queen Mother's tyranny....
then, finally, with the leading of our great faux pas hero in red t-shirt, we have at last tasted freedom. [we made him go thru the hole first just in case there were Care Bears inside that swear]
in the end faux pas hero in red t-shirt couldn't resist posing as an ah-lian with the Queen Mother, before we pushed him down the hole that we had dug.
darKness-ak
Friday morning
omigosh, its exactly 10:00am
but i had already woke up at 7:30am
so like what's the point of sleeping??
tonight, i shall pray to God to give me the ability
to sleep-in, yes to sleep-in, till those tasty lamb chops
come bleahing bleahing bleahing home to me....
eric clapton, tears in heaven, live, loop
"ive got 99 problems, and you're just one of them
so dont you go thinking that will make you important to me"
da Ditz is heading to me place later since she's bored & recovering from flu. im like a spare tyre because her bf, claypot, today too busy to accompany her. am i gripping here or what?? *ahahhhahahaha* no lah, no lah, nothing underground going on between us. must clarify now on me blog because the Si-Peh powerful rumour grapevine in Borders is working way overtime, spinning legendary stories about da legendary me. *ahahaha* anyway, meeting her at NTUC [aghast, its that supermarket, silly Karen] to buy some groceries so that i can cook some sorta of healthy lunch for her. today's menu shall be Aglio e Olio pasta as the main filler, and i shall also make green-red-yellow bell peppers with julienned fresh mushrooms in a lightly stir-fried style. simple lunch and quite broke, so i shan't make it too fanciful. and of course, this coming Saturday & Sunday is going to be Super Steady Stylo Mylo Kookoo Looloo days i assure you. why??? because National Library are having their annual sale. time to give away my Yusof Ishaks, and eat grass & drink air for the next few weeks. can finally fulfill my lifelong ambition of becoming a "Sen Xian" liao.
darKness-ak
Thursday, January 06, 2005
as promised to Sharon, here are snapshots of me messy messy desk, and no, ive no compulsion to clean it up anytime soon. and FYI, my desk is also sorta of a living ecosystem because it supports a family of tiny cute spiders. the papa spider & mama spider will move in periodically now & then to build their nest, for their little creche of children spiders.
a panoramic left-sided view of me desk
a panoramic right-sided view of me desk
an almost close-up view panning from the left-hand side
an almost close-up view panning from the center-hand side, is there such a word as center-side??
an almost close-up view panning from the right-hand side
if they couldn't be reunited while they were living, i shall reunite them in death by stacking their books together, Sylvia Plath & Ted Hughes, my most-loved poets. one suicided in her prime, while the other had to live for the next 30-odd decades with that immense guilt, regrets, remorse, and ultimately his steadfast love for her, which culminated in his 30-odd years of writing Birthday Letters
the planning chart that da Ditz had drawn up for me when she came over my place last month. thaqoooOool Princess, without you, lots of stuff wouldn't have proceed thus smoothly
can you spot the handle of a kitchen knife & a mini toy drinks vending machine?? dont ask me why i always have a kitchen knife on my desk, like why i also have a hammer in my room too
papa Homer says "Duh, give me a big bear hug". im a closet sticker fan. i like to collect sticker labels from fruits & paste them on me monitor
The one & only Book that is more important than my existence. and oh yes, those are Happy Family cards, anyone wants to come over & have a game or two?? we could play silly forfeits, like jumping straight out from my 17th floor window, it'll be so fun, i promise
darKness-ak
come, come, come, give papa Homer a big bear hug, and pass that Duff beer around too. anyway, after torturing my orange the other day, ive decided to repeat the same stunt that i had committed when i was 11, at my grandma's place during CNY. that year, CNY at grandma's place was super boring becos my cousins hadn't arrived & the adults were swimming with their mahjong tiles. so i borrowed a black marker, and started drawing faces on her basket of CNY oranges. needless to say, my grandma & parents did gave me hell for it but im quite sure the oranges had a happy CNY that year. so this year, if i happen to visit your house, you'd better keep your basket of oranges away from me, because this time round, im going to bring my own black marker. *muahhahahhaha*
darKness-ak
Thursday morning
its far too early to be awake, you #%@$%@# idiot!!!!
'____ 9:25am
what's the story, morning glory
too much coffee powder
too little sugar
my coffee is so low on taste but so high on caffeine
israel kamakawiwo'ole, over the rainbow/what a wonderful world, endless loops
"i heard a friend saying, 'Love like magic drive me crazy'
and somehow, i'd be tempted to nod secretly in agreement, wont you too??"
if Wong Kar Wai was in the mood for love, then me, i must be in the mood for chee cheong fun - without sweet sauce & chilli, i like it simple & plain - breakfast. cant remember when was the last time i had that for breakfast. anyway as routine, breakfast was only coffee. woke up too early again at 8:00ish, tried to force myself back to sleep but it was already a battle lost. kinda of a packed day ahead, just like the way da Dood has prescribed for me because if my hands are left idling, they'll literally morph into the devil's hands. anyway, just need to mention that ive abdicated from my Pirate throne seat because ive met someone that is a hardcore x 10,001 times Pirate, she's definitely more powerful than me. you know who you are, Missy Karen *ahahhahahhaha* okae, thats it, short post. remember, everyone of you, you gotta Smile & Smile like your existence depends on it. because Smiling is the secret to making other people's day.
darKness-ak
Wednesday, January 05, 2005
wednesday evening
slight overdoes on coffee
definitely overdid it today
not enough quality sleep
show me your Middle Finger
and i'll be dazed enough
to say you have just shown me the
Thumbs Up sign
'______________________________10:31 post meridiem
sharon wee, "mangmu", on a loop
"Persistance in Prayer, my young apprentice"
two words, Dead Beat. and i will still be Dead Beat forever as tomorrow, Thursday, i'll be meeting Ann to view the pixs from the photoshoot, and then continue on to meet up with a biz contact. then come Friday, i'll be meeting Shereen to pass her the book, and hopefully get to sit down with her properly, and have a proper lunch. then still on Friday itself, will be meeting Huixian for supper at river valley for catch-ups. but im like developing this notion of flying her aeroplane :p then on Saturday, am meeting da Ditz for the book shopping spree at the National Library Annual Sale held at the suntec expo, and Sharon might join us too (which i hope she will, then i can rub wasabi into her eyes). will be meeting at 11am in the morning, obviously not one of my brightest idea since im so depreived of sleep. then on Sunday, i'll be heading down to the bookfair again but this time, with Karen, the Epitome of Sweetness. there's a possibilty that Elisa, da Ditz, Asra and Shereen will be able to make it too. and after the bookfair jaunt on Sunday, Karen & i might continue down to the 2nd hand bookstores at far east for more books hunting if she has time to spare. evidently, im just going to die from lack of sleep. and the worst thing is, ive this internal alarm clock thingy which automatically wakes me up at 8:00am every k-n-n single bloody morning. da Dood up there must be playing this really big pactical joke on me, and its not even April's Fool Day. i feel like such a fool already. no wait, ive always been a fool. and yah, lest i forget, BIG SHOUTS to the crew at SgBlog for listing me.
darKness-ak
Tuesday, January 04, 2005
Tuesday evening
i need coffee again
i need to drink it so that
i can fall asleep....
alrightness, as promised, here are the candid "photoshoot-in-progress" pixs that i had taken yesterday at the Space 217 studio. and obviously, i WONT be posting up the actual pixs that Ann, the photgrapher had taken of the models, and anyways, the film hasn't been developed yet too. anyhow, it was a fun day, the shoot went exceedingly well other than for the blown capicitator. am quite sure that everyone had a fun day too, and hopefully, when da Dood provides, there will be another shoot in June. shall make it on day of my birthday so that they got cant escape from buying me prezzies. *mushahaha* as what Karen might say, "im such a MisRead Wicked Genius".
Ann, the maestro photographer at work
focus, focus, throw the book, yes, throw the book at kenny
she is lethal in pink, pretending to read the zine, acting non-volatile
2 cute girls trying to act adorable
i call it the Cheese Ques Ques snack, Ques must be construed in the Hokkien lang
Ann at work again, zooming into Karen, while Elisa reads for real
oh yes, beautiful Elisa, we love you too. Lai, doing the makeup & hairstyle for her
hey presto, before & after, not too sure where the Victory signs comes in
Elisa must've broken something in the studio, and trying to look innocent after that, and it works, believe me
Totto-Chan / Elisa-Chan in the flesh, look at the book she's holding
another 2 cute girls trying to act adorable
the Epitome of Sweetness, Karen, im dazed & weak in my knees liao
screaming ten buckets & ten more buckets of lemon barley Sweetness
God must've like me alot to send Karen to be our model
i'd kiss the ground she walk, in fact, i think any guy would
oh no, Rachel & kenny grinch bites again *munch munch munch*
i was singing along to The Cranberries's Ode to my Family when she took this pix, partly accounting for the wretched expression i had
Rachel reading Maxim, while i was reading Her World
books books books books, you just gotta love them, dont you??
books books books books, you better love these books i tell you
Le Petite Prince & Oyster Boy, always a delectable combo
one looks funny with stuckout tongue, one looks naturally beautiful with her sweetest smile, while the Asra grins at my silliness
Elisa looks so beautiful that Rachel becomes a prop *muahahhahhaa*
darKness-aK
